Queen Elizabeth and 70 years of Marriage

The Sanctity of Marriage

I was this morning.... about the sanctity of marriage and the appropriate gifts for celebrating. As I sat in my taxi, I browsed through the news headlines and saw this BBC news that asked, 'what do you give to your partner to celebrate 70 years of marriage?' The very first question that popped in my head was 'No be two of us marry? why should I give my partner a gift?' Feeling a bit ashamed that I am thinking like a typical African, I put my hand in the basket of my thoughts again to try and bring out a fitting gift for a platinum wedding anniversary, but I couldn't help but reflect on the more important question of what is it that keeps a couple together for 70 years in a world where couples divorce because of toothpaste, tomato paste or even peanut butter paste?

This was my thought as Queen Elizabeth and her husband Prince Philip marked their platinum wedding anniversary last Monday. The couple got married at Westminster Abbey November 20 1947, and 70 years on, Elizabeth (91) and Philip (96) are not tired of each other. What are they doing that modern day celebrities are missing? I have heard some seniors advise the youths to watch the family they are marrying into. They say if the parents are divorced, then 'e dey the family.' Has divorce become a contagious or hereditary disease? To show the futility of that thinking, do you know that while the marriage of Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip has remained strong, three of their four children have seen their unions end in divorce? Most notable is heir Prince Charles's ill-fated union with his late wife Princess Diana. Please don't tell me the children need deliverance.

I am thinking, though my marriage is still a long way from 70 years, what can I learn from this power couple? While Prince William says the secret is them being comfortable in each other presence, others say it is their shared sense of humor (SSOH). The Queen herself says, 'He has, quite simply been my strength and stay all these years,' and Prince Philip says, 'You can take it from me, the Queen has the quality of tolerance in abundance.' Hmm!!!

While everyone in marriage will put forward different qualities that make their marriage work, to me it is a combination of the little things, the God factor, tolerance and the firm knowledge that, come rain or shine we are together, that makes the difference. Hence Romans 8:38 says, 'For I am persuaded that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,' shall be able to separate us from the love of God.

My prayer is that as our marriages take one step at a time towards 70 years, any principality that wants to ply it's trade on us will expire this year in Jesus name. Amen.

Happy Sunday.

.....Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey.

Time, Reality and Change of Priority

Changing times and Reality Check

I was thinking this morning...... about time and reality. Where I sat in my living room relaxing, shortly after arriving from a journey yesterday, and expecting no one at that time of the day, the door bell rang. 'Who can that be? Who are you expecting?' I had asked my wife. As we both paused the TV to go downstairs to attend to the visitor, I was wondering how anyone will be at my door without notice.

 

When we eventually let the visitor in, it was my niece in-law. As she greeted me and we gave her a warm welcome, I couldn't help but think of how times have changed. This lady that is today in Law School in Lagos was only about 5 years old when she was our little bride 16 years ago. As I stared into oblivion, it dawned on me that time has made my reality and changed my priority.

 

But wait, if time could make my reality and changed my priority, how come it didn't have the same effect on Mugabe? Robert Gabriel Mugabe was 56 years in 1980 when he became Prime Minister of Zimbabwe. He became President in 1987 at 63 and has been in power since then. Thirty years later and at the age of 93, Mugabe is still fighting for power like he did in 1980. He is imprisoned by his 1980 reality and therefore cannot change his priorities. How sad.

 

If you take your mind back home, you will pick up a number of our politicians imprisoned in their past and still playing the politics they played in the eighties. Oh God, why hasn't time made their realities and changed their priorities? If you think about it deeply, you will realize that the sum of their individual imprisonment in the past has collectively imprisoned us as a nation preventing us from moving into our today. Hmm!!!

 

As you get up to start another day, has time made your reality and changed your priority? I have always said that if you are blessed enough to be alive and strong at 70, you should immediately start reconciling with your God, if you had not done so and dedicate your life to service of God and man till your departure. Seventy to me is the milestone for change of priority because 1 Cor 13:11 says, 'When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.' Time is ticking, things are changing, please move from your past into today.

 

Happy Sunday.

 

.....Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey.

Dino Melaye, National Projects and the Pain of Indigestion

National Projects and the pain of indigestion

I was thinking this morning.....about indigestion. Whenever I think of indigestion (also called Dyspepsia), I imagine how uncomfortable it makes one feel, the heartburn, bloated stomach and pain. However, if you are pregnant or your wife is and suffering from indigestion, then go buy a set of comb because your baby will be very hairy. No, it is not 'fabu,' but true. A John Hopkins University study revealed that higher hormone levels like estrogen (thought to be a cause of indigestion during pregnancy) can contribute to more baby hair. Interesting, isn't it?

 

Okay, I am not pregnant nor suffering from indigestion, but it seems some projects in Nigeria have this condition. How? You may ask. On Thursday 2nd November, Senator Dino Melaye of APC Kogi West called the attention of the Senate to alleged 'monumental fraud' in the Ministry of Power, Works and housing headed by Babatunde Fashola. Mr Melaye alleged that the Ministry squandered $385 million on projects not appropriated in the budget between 2013 and 2016. He had said, 'Mr President, this money was stolen in installments. As I speak to you, sometimes last year again, the Ministry of Power came up with a term they call fast power. This undigested project is supposed to build new generating plants to add power to our grid.'

 

At this point, I was like, 'how can a project be undigested again na?' But I now understand, you know that feeling that burns your heart (like heartburns) when you are watching your favourite programme on TV and there is power cut? yes, it is because the power projects were not digested. This heartburn does not compare to the sharp pain of 'indigestion' that one mother in Port Harcourt felt recently when her pre-term baby placed in an incubator in a government hospital suddenly died because power was cut for about three hours. Oh the pain of undigested power projects.

 

And they are not alone. You turn on the TV or radio to listen to the local news and you hear the presenter announce the death of someone and then shockingly calls him or her 'diseased' instead of 'deceased.' Our graduates no longer know the difference between diseased and deceased. It's a crying shame, and it is because our educational programs are undigested, hence the pain and heartburn.

 

Honestly, I have this feeling that the 2017 national budget was undigested as well because the impact is hardly visible, rather what we hear are stories of State house clinic without drugs. What happened to the budget for the clinic this year? It probably has not been digested.

 

Now that the 2018 budget has been presented before the joint session of the National assembly, I beg of the operators of the economy to please allow the budget and projects to be digested so that we all can enjoy the benefits in 2018. In spite of the indigestion we suffer as a nation, the curse of 2nd Chronicles 21:15 is not our portion in Jesus name.

 

Happy Sunday.

 

.....Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey.

Flamboyance or a Mess?

Flamboyance of Flamingos

I was thinking this morning..... about flamboyance. I bet you did not know that a group of  flamingos is called 'flamboyance,' just like a group of iguanas is called 'a mess.' While I am not interested in the mess caused by some Nigerians, the flamboyance of some became worthy of my thoughts today. Until recently, flamboyance meant showing off particularly in bright colours, but my scope was deepened when I read the article of one Tochukwu Ezukanma talking about what he called our 'pesky, exasperating albatross: tribalism.' He explained how some Nigerians had declared that their tribe was not only going to dominate Nigeria but that they will dominate Africa. He called it 'verbal flamboyance.' Hmm!!!

As I dissected what he called verbal flamboyance, something tells me that it is either this guy lives outside of Nigeria or he has never been to Lagos nor use the public transportation called 'molue.' How could he have called the declaration by someone that his tribe will dominate Nigeria 'verbal flamboyance?' Like the Americans will say, he ain't seen verbal flamboyance until you ride in a molue or danfo in Lagos. With mouth wide open and at the top of their voice, in ten seconds, the bus conductors will reel out all the bus stops between Oshodin and Okokomaiko, shouting 'Oshodin o, Oshodin-Oke o.....' And if you are unfortunate to have an argument with one of them, he would've beaten you to pulp with his mouth, shouting 'ah, ah..' inbetween his threatenings but without raising a finger. Now, that is what I will call verbal flamboyance.

Feeling satisfied that I have done justice to the term, I smiled and wondered if verbal flamboyance is not another term for boasting. Well, it is a known fact that Nigerians love showing off but it seems to be crossing the line of sanity. That was my thought when I saw photos from a wedding somewhere in Western Nigeria where camp gas (gas cylinder with burner) and large 4-wheeled suitcases were given to guests as souvenirs. Believe me, my concern was not that those bulky items were distributed, I was miffed to see these items displayed on top the small tables, occupying every available space at the reception venue. Now, that is 'souveniral flamboyance.' Don't bother checking the dictionary for 'souveniral,' because it is not there. My worry, like a Nairalander had expressed, is that soon they will start giving mattresses and dining tables/chairs as souvenirs.

Okay, I can understand both verbal and souveniral flamboyance, but struggling to wrap my head around 'gestapoic flamboyance.' 'Kilon je be?' I read of a lady that donned camouflage t-shirt and trousers and was accosted by some soldiers. In a sane society, she will, worst case be warned about the implications and advised to go back home and take them off. But in my Naija, she was not only stripped naked in the public but was made to frog-jump and flogged. Now, that is 'gestapoic flamboyance' or exaggerated show of force. Only last Monday, the federal High Court in Calabar ordered the Nigeria Navy to pay the sum of N75m to a bricklayer for illegally shooting and torturing him for no reason. The navy men were 'gestapoically flamboyant.' Haba naija!!!

Time and space will fail me if am to talk about fashion flamboyance, culinary flamboyance or grammatical flamboyance (when Patrick Obahiagbon speaks and no one understands), but I beg you, whichever way you choose to be flamboyant, do ensure you are causing no harm to people or the environment. If like iguanas, your show off causes harm, then you are a mess, but if it brings joy, then like flamingos, you are flamboyant. But remember Philippians 4:5 says 'Let your moderation be known to all men.'

Happy Sunday.

....Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey.

Sam Omatseye, NNPC Contract Scandal and the Melodious Lie

NNPC Contract Award and Melodious Lie

I was thinking this morning..... about the many types of lie. No, I do not subscribe to lie in any shade and colour, but have seen people dress up 'lie' in different garbs. I am sure you must have heard of 'white lie,' which according to the dictionary is a lie with good intentions.

 

I was wondering why anyone with good intentions should tell a lie. If a lady asked 'how do I look in this dress?' and you tell her she looks good when she doesn't, it is a lie and there is nothing white about the lie. But wait a minute, if there is white lie, is there black lie? According to the Urban Dictionary, when a black person gets blamed for a white person's crime, it is called 'black lie.' Na wa for oyibo people, always giving the black man the short end of the stick. Never in our favour.

 

But why should I be spending my time thinking about lie? I never thought to do so until I read an article written by Sam Omatseye, Chairman Editorial Board of The Nation Newspaper. He had said concerning the alleged $25b contracts award at NNPC and Buhari's response, 'As far as this column is concerned, unless Buhari reviews and annuls the contracts, his war on corruption is melodious lie, an exercise in hypocritical grandstanding.'

 

While I am not interested in the politics of the assertion, the use of 'melodious lie' got me thinking. If a lie can be melodious, then a lie can be many things. Think about it. When a young man approaches a lady he has just met for the first time, telling her all the stories young men tell including how she is the sugar in his tea. Like we say in Warri, as as how na? It is a 'lovely lie.'

 

Imagine 'I go die,' the comedian, telling his audience that they were so poor back then that his dad will take out the clock battery when they are going to bed just to extend the battery life. His audience will laugh because it is a 'funny lie.'

 

As I dug deeper, I recalled the incident in Port-Harcourt months ago where a Uniport student killed his 8 years old niece and harvested her body parts before he was caught. His initial response was that he never meant to kill her. But how can you extract somebody's vital organs without first killing the person? That was a 'bloody lie.'

 

It is common to see a plus-sized lady making so much effort to lose weight. She eats vegetables in the morning and pounded yam in the evening. Two weeks later, she tells you she has lost weight, when in actual fact she has added. It is a 'fat lie.'

 

Melodious lie, white lie, funny lie, bloody lie or fat lie, the one common denominator is that it is a lie. The NIV translation of the Bible in John 8:44 speaking about the devil says, 'when he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.' That means the devil tells 'native lies.' Though our leaders and politicians have perfected the art of telling native, diplomatic, executive and legislative lies, please do not join them to normalize this anomaly. Let your no be no and your yes be yes.

 

Happy Sunday.

 

.....Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey.

I was thinking this morning.....About Confident Error of Judgement

The Zuma Statue

I was thinking this morning... As I followed the major news item this week of Governor Rochas Anayo Okorocha of Imo state, unveiling a 25m statue of South African president Jacob Zuma, when workers have not been paid salaries for months, I shook my head in disappointment. I was wondering how a man that is suffering from integrity-deficiency in his home country could be so deified by a man that should be an apostle of good governance. As I read the words of a South African that said 'Instead of a statue, Nigeria can keep the real thing,' I concluded that we have again made a confident error of judgement.

Yes, a confident error of judgement it must be, as I remembered a gist of a man those days standing at the newspaper shop to buy his favourite newspaper. The newspaper agent had noticed his loyalty over time and on this day asked him, 'why do you like reading our newspaper?' The man thought for a while and replied calmly in pidgin English, 'Ehn, the thing plenty,' he hesitated and then added 'and e soft.' Hmm!!! While the newspaper agent thought they had the best news stories, little did he know that the man's motivation for buying the newspaper was not to read but to use as toilet paper. Oh, it was a confident error of judgement on the part of the agent.

Have you been confidently wrong before? Think about it. I know of many friends that supported many elected officials in the past and present governments including many of their appointees. When stories broke about some of the atrocities committed, with one scandal following another, they defended them at first, but later dropped their heads in shame from overwhelming evidence. Some of the people that many judged to be above board had 'fallen our hands.' Most of us were confidently wrong in our judgement. We have realized that the purpose of their getting into government was not to serve but for filthy lucre.

 

Just when I thought this was a curse on politicians, I read the news of the Kwara state Commissioner of Police, Lawan Ado, redeploying policemen at Adewole Police Division in Ilorin over allegations that some of the officers have been selling suspects detained at the station to ritual killers for N80,000 per person. Oh God, what has become of man? While many will see the police station as a safe place to hide away from the rampaging ritual killer, this story will make many think again. It is a confident error of judgement.

 

Sometimes when we think we know someone very well and can confidently predict their actions and motive, that's when we get burnt. I have realized that if we can't say we know ourselves that well, then it will be a confident error of judgement to assume we know others, particularly politicians. No wonder Jeremiah 17:5 says, 'Thus saith the Lord; Cursed be the man that trusteth in man, and maketh flesh his arm, and whose heart departed from the Lord.'

 

Happy Sunday.

 

.....Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey.

I was thinking this morning..... about Nigeria Wedding Colours

Nigerian Wedding Colours

I was thinking this morning.... about colours and how it has evolved in Nigeria. If you think you are familiar with colour types, pick up Nigerian wedding invites and test yourself. A colleague invited me to his daughter's wedding and as I read the invite, I saw 'Colour of the Day; Aqua/Fayrouz Green.' 'Which one be Aqua/Fayrouz Green again na?' I had quipped. As I soliloquized, I recalled watching a Nigeria movie, 'Dance to my beat,' recently where the colour for the wedding was 'Champagne gold.' Trust me, when I heard 'champagne gold,' I struggled to picture what it will look like.

 

The way we are going in Nigeria, we will soon establish our own colour scheme. Haba naija!!! Until my adult life, I never knew that there were other colours aside from the basic primary and secondary colours we were taught in school. Since I started receiving wedding invitations, I now know that we have tertiary and now Nigeria colours.

 

But wait a minute, why have we chosen to depict our colours with food and drink instead of using the actual names? Could it be sheer laziness to find out what the shade of colour is called or our proclivity for 'owambe' or 'igbadun?' 'Think Party, Think Food and drinks!' Is the colour description meant to give an indication of what to expect at the event? Maybe. When the colour is Aqua/Fayrouz green, expect lots of water, Fayrouz and other soda drinks, but when it is champagne gold, you know what to expect.

 

I found out that the colour my friend called Fayrouz green could either be Lime, Pear, Chartreuse or even Parakeet and what they call champagne gold could either be Blonde, Daffodil or even Dandelion. If you think about it deeply, you will not blame Nigerians for being creative. Imagine reading the colour of the day in an invite to be 'Chartreuse or Parakeet,' how on earth will one know that it is a shade of green?

 

Yes it is creative associating the colour to something everyone is familiar with, my only grouse with our choice of description is that some are too elitist. For example, how can a typical waffi man know what champagne gold looks like when he has never drank champagne before? Instead of saying 'champagne gold,' why don't they say 'Chinchin gold?' They can also use 'Alomo Bitters red,' 'Dogonyaro green,' 'Indomie cream,' 'Coca Cola black' and so on.

 

Another challenge I have with our brand of colour scheme creation is that it feeds the 'aso-ebi agenda.' All I can say is that it is well.

 

In closing my colourful thought, I am pleading with event planners to minimize the description of colours with food and drinks because it masks the essence of the occasion. For example, the message of Isaiah 1:18 is repentance and salvation, now imagine a Nigerian invite reading, 'Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord; though your sins are like Alomo bitters red, they shall be as white as rice; though they are red like Valentino wine, they shall become white like fresh pounded yam.' Be careful with your illustrations. May God help us to manage our 'igbadun mentality.'

 

Happy Sunday.

 

.....Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey.