Indulging Our Appetites

Surfeiting

I was thinking this morning..... about surfeiting. I am not referring to surfing, because I know you may still be in summer mode. Surfeiting means indulging in one's appetites excessively. It could be food or drink or many other things.

During my final days in the University of Benin, a professor whose name I can't readily remember gave an Inaugural Lecture titled 'They are as sick that surfeit with too much as they that starve with nothing.' This topic, which I later confirmed to be a quote by William Shakespeare, was quite intriguing to me at the time, explaining why it got stuck in my memory these past 27 or so years. At that time, it was difficult for me to imagine how too much food can make anyone sick, because as students, we never had enough to eat. In the closing days of each semester, when the 'allawi' is finished, our daily feeding plan switches to 'Zero-Pawpaw-Water.' Of course with the pawpaw coming free charge from the trees behind our hostel block. Yes, it is true. But Wey, where are you going with this reminiscing? I will tell you.

A few days ago, I was having this jollof rice for dinner. It was so scrumptious, that I ate more than my regular portion and went to bed shortly after. Then wahala started. I was so uncomfortable through the night, I was asking myself 'who send me?' It was the same feeling you have when you go to bed hungry. I woke up and agreed with the truism that 'They are as sick that surfeit with too much as they that starve with nothing.'

Look around and you will find this truism everywhere. If you are a believer in good governance and democracy, you might be wondering why you have been having this feeling of nausea in recent times. I will tell you. It is because you have been following the news of political events in Nigeria. The sheer appetite of the politicians for power is as amazing as it is insatiable. They want to hold on to power by all means, scheming and killing, if they have to. They have taken in too much power, and are power-drunk and now sick and suffering from power poisoning (similar to alcohol poisoning). The man on the streets, on the other hand is even more sick from power deficiency, a disease I call 'powershiokor.' He lacks appetite for power and therefore suffering the effect. 'They are as sick that surfeit with too much as they that starve with nothing.'

If you have no appetite for power, do you have appetite for news about politics and gist in the social media? While the majority of rural Nigerians are sick from ignorance and starved of information, those at the city centers are sick from information overload, made up of real news, fake news and sheer propaganda. Truly, 'They are as sick that surfeit with too much as they that starve with nothing.' No wonder Luke 21:34 says, 'And take heed to yourselves, lest at any time your hearts be overcharged with surfeiting, and drunkenness, and cares of this life, and so that day come upon you unawares.' Rather than indulge in too much food or drink or power, feed your faith and your fears will starve to death. A word is enough for the wise.

Happy Sunday.

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey.

Yellow - The Attraction and the Danger

Yellow Cabs

I was thinking this morning.... about yellow. I was in the midst of a mixed group of persons recently, when I heard a guy call out to another in a manner I have not heard in a long while. He had said, 'Yellow, please come.' Since I grew up in Nigeria, I knew 'Yellow' was not his name, but a call-name for a light complexioned person.

A light skinned man or woman in Nigeria is described as a yellow man or woman and if the person is extremely light, he or she is called 'yellow pawpaw.' This moniker was so common in those days that there was a song, a classic released by Kofi Sammy in 1995, that goes like 'Yellow Sisi dey for corner; Put e hand for jaw; Na wetin dey cause am o; Na money palava.' Hmm!!! Only those born before the nineties will understand. As I wondered if describing someone as yellow was limited to Nigeria, I found out that in the early 20th Century, 'High yellow' was a term sometimes used to describe light skinned African-Americans, even though I am at a loss as to the reason for the 'high' before the yellow.

As a young man, I always wondered why it seems 'yellow ladies' are more attractive than dark skinned ladies. As I acquired more knowledge with time, I found out why. It is the same reason warning signs are on yellow background. Same reason so many taxicabs in Lagos, Singapore, New York and many other cities around the world are painted yellow. But what is the reason, you may be asking impatiently? Like the Yorubas will say, 'Farabale,' meaning 'calm down or relax.'

The Business Insider revealed why yellow is the most preferred colour for taxicabs worldwide and the reason is because yellow cabs have fewer accidents. The have few accidents because yellow cabs are easier to see and therefore have a lower chance of being hit. Trust me, this was backed up by research. But if this is true around the world, why is it different in Nigeria? Why are the yellow cabs, danfo and molue, in Lagos so badly dented? My thinking is that most of the Nigerian drivers are, amongst other factors, distracted by the many yellow ladies that have taken to standing along the road for reasons best known to them. Believe me, I am not furthering the cause of 'yellow journalism' by my line of thought, I am only pointing out that yellow by itself is an attractive primary colour but if you mix it with magenta, you will see red, like many Lagos drivers have.

You probably are like yellow, attracting the attention of everyone, but are you causing people to stumble or you are passing a valuable message? Luke 17:1 says, 'Things that cause people to stumble are bound to come, but woe to anyone through whom they come.'

As I made up my mind to wear this nice yellow tie this morning, I remembered an old time joke in the years preceding mobile phones, where a local boy was asked to make a sentence with three colours. The boy stood up and confidently said, 'Yesterday in my uncles's house, the phone ring 'green,' and I 'pink' up the phone and said 'yellow.' Feel free to smile and have a yellow-filled Sunday.

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey.

Of Surname and Your Identity

 

I was thinking this morning.... about surname or last name. Every now and then, someone will ask me to pronounce my surname because they think it is a difficult one. It is so bad that a colleague of mine refers to me as the man with a surname with so many vowels. While I got used to comments about my surname over the years, I never knew there were people in more precarious situation, that do not have a fixed surname and have to choose a surname anytime a child is born to the family. Na wa o! Why should that be when the child is not born to an unknown father or he or she is not 'born throway' like we call it in Warri?

This thought only came to me when I read the headline 'Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's children's surname will probably be this.' For the first time in all my life, I asked myself what the surname of Queen Elizabeth is but could not detect a whiff of knowledge about it. Hmm!!! You probably are thinking of what it is but wouldn't know either because the world never refer to the royal family by anything other than their title and first names. That is why we only know of Queen Elizabeth, Prince Charles, Prince William, Princess Diana etc.

It is common in Nigeria to have children named after locations, events and situations, hence a classmate of mine is called 'Conference' and another 'Independence,' but it is rare to find cousins from three brothers all bearing different last names. This is the case with the grand children of Queen Elizabeth. When Meghan and Harry eventually have children, they will have a surname different from that of their cousins, Prince George, Princess Charlotte and Princess Louis, despite the fact that their fathers are brothers. I am sure you might be thinking, 'what is their problem?' You are not alone.

As I stayed on that thought, I discovered that the surname of the royal family is Mountbatten-Windsor, but the children don't use this last name at school to help them blend into the school environment. Rather, they use the title of their parents. For example, William and Harry do go by the surname of 'Wales' because their parents are Duke and Duchess of Wales, while Prince George, the son of Prince William, the Duke of Cambridge was given the surname 'Cambridge' when he started school last September. So, it is believed that the surname of the children of Meghan and Harry will be 'Sussex' since they are the Duke and Duchess of Sussex. Interesting, right?

 

The practice by the English monarchy of making their children take a surname that relates to their title rather than directly to monarchy got me thinking about how interesting it will be if we borrow same in Nigeria. The children of Jos king would have gone by the surname of 'Gbong-Gwom' while the son of the Oba of Benin will for example be called 'Nosa Uku-Akpolokpolor.' Wahala for dey sha.

 

The truth is, it doesn't matter whether your last name is according to the family surname or a title, what is important is to know who you are, whose child you are and fulfill destiny. Charles, William and Harry don't have to answer the surname Mountbatten-Windsor to know they are royalty. Hence Isaiah 45:4 says, 'For the sake of my servant Jacob, And of Israel My chosen, I call also thee by thy name, I surname thee, And thou hast not known me.' Do you know who you are or you need your surname to remind you?

 

Happy Sunday.

 

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey.

Man, Animals and Our Ability to Fly

The Flying Whale

I was thinking this morning.... about flying. While growing up as a little boy in Warri in the late seventies, flying was not what anybody wanted to be associated with because of the negative connotations. Though the Warri airstrip was created in the 1960s, followed by the upgrade of the Benin Airport and subsequent handover to the Nigeria Airport Authority (NAA) in 1978, air travel was the exclusive preserve of a handful. So most children in the then Bendel State knew little or nothing about aircraft or air travel. One craft that was however common and talked about a lot particularly when adults quarrel and fight is 'witchcraft.' So when you talk about flying, you could be misunderstood to be a 'kpiance' which is what witches and wizards were referred to in those days in Warri. So imagine my initial reticence as I got educated, when people desire and verbalize their intention to be high flyers. Why and how would anyone want to fly when he or she is not a 'kpiance?' Such were the days of our ignorance.

Fast forward 40 years to 2018, where I sat reading an aviation incident report where a passenger onboard a flight had grabbed and bitten a fellow passenger during take off. Having investigated the root cause of the incident, the investigation lead had surmised, 'Phobic passengers are part of the business of air transport as most people express varying degrees of fear. This is for the obvious reason that humans are not meant to fly.' Hmm!!! As I read the statement that 'humans are not meant to fly,' I smiled and saw a subtle explanation for why anyone with the ability or capability to fly in those days is regarded as a 'kpiance.' That is because only birds and insects are created to fly and humans are neither.

If humans are not meant to fly, why do people desire to be high flyers? In any case, many braved it and became high flyers, taking to the skies and brought a lot of advancement in air travel. Today, humans are now traveling from one end of the earth to another in crafts designed to look like birds. It is a no-brainer why flying crafts are designed in the shape of birds, because birds are created with the natural ability to fly. You will now understand my discomfort when you look to the skies these days and find flying crafts of irregular shapes (drones) and of recent, crafts designed to look like an aquatic animal.

It gives one the feeling that we are violating our boundaries. This was my thought when I read the headline 'Airbus launch new Beluga XL plane that looks like a whale.' Why would they design a plane in the shape of an animal that lacks the capacity to fly? I dey fear o!!! The new cargo aircraft made by the European Aeroplane Company, Airbus is deliberately designed  and decorated to look like a gigantic whale and named after the Beluga whale or white whale (Delphinapterus Lucas).

I am really thinking about how confused some children will be in the near future about who runs the skies. Is it the birds that were created for the skies or the terrestrial beings like humans that have taken to the skies in amazing ways or could it be the aquatic beings that are beginning to find their way up there? As it stands, the skies have become the playground of terrestrial and aquatic animals.

Irrespective of whether you are a high flyer or flying below the radar, thank God that we can fly and not be referred to as 'kpiance.' But before you fly, make sure that you are mentally ready, to avoid stories that touch. And if you really want to be a high flyer, just make sure you are not biting anyone on your way up. As for me this Sunday morning, amidst all the depressing news of  8 being greater than 22 in Nigeria, Psalms 55;6 has given me a getaway plan. It says, 'I said, oh that I had wings like a dove! I would fly away and be at rest.' Oh believe me, I would fly to the Caribbean or the Maldives for a great summer vacation and a well deserved rest. For now, it's time to go to church, by road.

Happy Sunday.

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey.

Racing in an Obstacle-Laden Course

Gates Open for Horse Racing

I was thinking this morning... about racing in an obstacle-laden course. I set out for work as usual one fateful morning, driving 'jejelly.' Just about a kilometer from the turning to my office, a very fast moving Ford Ranger truck suddenly appeared by my left side, successfully making my humble Toyota corolla look like a welfare case. Before I could turn my head to see who was driving, he zoomed off overtaking over six vehicles in a go. But it didn't take five seconds, there was a police checkpoint and he was forced to stop. As I drove closer, wondering why he was racing on a road with lots of obstacles, the police cleared him and he zoomed out of sight, reminding me of the closing statement in the CNN Equestrian promo 'In horse racing, when the gates open, the race is on.'

When I got to the office and thought about my experience for some moments, flashes of recent political events in Nigeria began to roll by. I remembered the Ekiti election and how desperate politicians were willing to spend the money we do not have to build infrastructure, to bribe voters. I remembered the wave of defections by a number of National Assembly members and a governor at a tempo that will make the football transfer season look like child's play. I remembered Saraki's police invitation, the siege on his and Ekweremadu's residences. I remembered the arraignment of our own version of Charlie Chaplin, Dino Melaye, for attempted suicide and his reported 'kidnap.' The picture of many political visits to Aso Rock appeared on screen and I wondered if I was watching a Nollywood movie. I thought of it all and could not but agree with the statement that 'In horse racing, when the gates open, the race is on.' The political gates are open and the race for 2019 is on. Nollywood, please make this movie.

Life is a race and there are many gates. As I sat as one of the officials of two weddings last Saturday, I observed the sense of joy and accomplishment in the demeanour of the ladies and wondered if they realized that from that day, the gates are open and the race is on. The race for a peaceful and blissful marriage begins when the gate is open on the wedding day. For some, the gates open and they hesitate, relaxing and waiting for someone to tell them to run. No, no, no. They've missed it. When the gates open, the race is on.

While it may seem obvious to many that when the gates open, the race is on, it seems less obvious to some that they are on an obstacle course. The paths are filled with obstacles to stop you from finishing strong. There are the obstacles of in-laws and past male and female friends for those in the  marriage race, and the influence of retired generals and political gladiators for those in the race for 2019. In whichever race you are in, you need grace. Hence, Ecclesiastes 9:11 says, 'I returned and saw something under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.'

Run with sense and purpose and do not boast.

Happy Sunday.

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey.

Cloud Theft and Cyclic Paranoia

Stealing Clouds

I was thinking this morning.... about paranoia. I called an Uber ride on arrival in Lagos days ago. As soon as I settled into the back seat, I started feeling like I was being choked. I quickly looked around to see if someone was stealing my oxygen, but realized it was a pungent smell within the car that was choking me. But why would I even imagine that someone could steal the oxygen I breath? Could I be suffering from paranoia? Most definitely not, but I suspect I was influenced to have that thought after reading, two weeks ago, about the Iranian General that accused Israel of manipulating weather to prevent rain over the Islamic Republic.

Brigadier General Gholam Reza Jalali, head of Irans's Civil Defence Organisation told a press conference, 'The changing climate in Iran is suspect. Israel and another country in the region have joint teams which work to ensure clouds entering Iranian skies are unable to release rain. On top of that, we are facing the issue of cloud and snow theft.' How can anyone steal clouds? I imagined. I was immediately reminded of the dilemma of the Electric Eels (Electrophorus electricus) which are mostly blind, even though they are not born blind. Sure you are wondering why.

I found out the Electric eels have three pairs of abdominal organs that produce electricity as a form of defensive mechanism against predators. Whenever the animal is under attack, it activates, an electric field of up to 860 Volts (that is nearly 4 times the 220V electricity supplied to our homes) to electrocute its attacker. The Eel also requires rising to the surface of the water every 10mins in order to take in oxygen before going back under the water. Due to this routine, the fish has developed a mindset that makes it think it is vulnerable to attack due to its constant coming up to breathe, and hence it is always on a 'suspicion mission.' It is always and constantly electrocuting its environment even when it is not under attack. The sad effect of this is that in the course of continuous electrocuting of its environment, its eyes are also electrocuted and hence its blindness. As it swims around blindly and only using its sense of feel and ears and being unable to see, it goes into more suspicion and every movement it feels in the waters, it releases further electric shock, worsening its plight. The animal thus goes into a cyclic paranoia and self infliction of pain causing it to be more blind irreversibly.

I believe the Iranian general is suffering from self activated cyclic paranoia, but are most people in Nigeria not in the same boat? It is so disgusting how we have reduced our political discourse to 'hailers' and 'wailers.' If you criticize the current government, you are labeled a wailer and supporter of looters and if you are a supporter of this government, you are a hailer and either an Islamist or a herdsman. We have become blind as a nation from our mutual suspicion that we can no longer see the looting and maladministration by professional politicians. They sold us the dummy of suspicion and it has activated a cyclic paranoia that now makes us wink at and become numb to the killings around us. Very soon somebody will say it is Benue people sending flood to the President home State of Katsina just to target him or that the opposition is stealing the water in Lake Chad consequently resulting in drought and the herdsmen crisis. Cyclic paranoia.

We need to end this paranoia so we could see clearly to save our nation for our children sake, by taking the advise of Matthew 7:5, 'Thou hypocrite, first get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend's eye.' Enough of our cyclic paranoia!

Happy Sunday.

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey.

Nurse, care and the Trust we Betray

Nurses, Care and Trust

I was thinking this morning... about nurses, care and the trust we betray. Yes, I know nurse show care and relax, none has betrayed my trust. But on the 5th of July, news broke of a London-based nurse sentenced to 14 years in prison for subjecting five young Nigerian women to mystical, violent rituals and trafficking them to Germany, where they are forced to work as prostitutes. According to the UK prosecutors, Josephine Iyamu, who is 51, subjected the women to a 'juju' ceremony with a voodoo priest where they were forced to drink blood containing worms, eat chicken heart, have their skin cut with razor blade and made to take oaths. Hmm!!! As I pondered on the news, I imagined what chicken heart will taste like and wondered if in all my years of feasting on chicken, I have inadvertently eaten the heart. believe me, I never knew chicken heart had such mystical significance. What I will never understand though is how a nurse that should care and facilitate healing would make someone to drink blood containing worms. As I shouted 'eeww' in disgust, I remembered a question that someone had asked recently, 'Can you trust a nurse whose husband sells coffins?'

The nurse is supposed to care for her patient, but she also cares for her husband and will want him to be successful in business. Some may argue that if she kills the patient, there is no guarantee that the coffin will be bought from her husband, that is of course if they decide to bury the dead in a coffin. But the point is, why should a nurse even think of killing his or her patient because of some secondary benefit? I never thought it was possible until I read the news last Wednesday 11th July of a nurse in Japan that told police that she sped up the deaths of at least 20 patients to avoid having to tell their families that their loved ones died while she was working.

Ayumi Kuboki, 31, told investigators that informing families of a patient's death was a burden and in order to avoid the responsibility, she poisoned the drips of patients near death with an antiseptic so that they would die at a time when another nurse would have to tell the family. As I said 'na wao,' I was still asking myself, 'can you trust a nurse whose husband sells coffins?'

Before I could answer, I recalled the events of Tuesday 10th of July, when the APC was having the grand finale of their governorship rally in Ado-Ekiti with the President, Governors and other high profile APC leaders in attendance. The Minister of Labour and Employment, Chris Ngige, was to give his speech in support of the APC candidate, Kayode Fayemi. He bizarrely urged the crowd to vote for the incumbent, Ayodele Fayose. He had said, 'If you marry two wives, you will know the one that is good, Fayose is the good one. He cooks, gives his husband food and who is not troublesome. So you must bring back Fayose on Saturday.' While many were shocked and the social media went haywire, I remembered that Ngige and Fayose were pioneer members of PDP. They were both elected governors under PDP in 2003 and were both removed from office in 2006. Their relationship can be akin to that of husband and wife. So, as Ngige spoke knowingly or unknowingly in favour of Fayose, APC leaders were saying, what a blunder, I am saying 'how can one trust a nurse whose husband sells coffins?'

The truth is, many people entrusted with the burden of care had betrayed that trust for what some in my circle will call 'earthly things.' Many have betrayed their oath of office, family and friends because of primordial sentiments and attachments. No wonder the Bible asked in Luke 22:48 'Judas, would you betray the Son of Man with a kiss?' I urge you to take the high road today even as you ponder on the question 'would you trust a nurse whose husband sells coffins?'

Happy Sunday.

.....Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey.