WORLD HUSBAND DAY

 

I was thinking this morning...... Yesterday 16th April was celebrated as World Husband Day or World Happy Husband Day. This day which is more romantic than Father’s Day (June 19) and more serious than National Boyfriend Day (October 3) is a day set aside to appreciate men who show up for their spouses in bold and subtle ways every day of the year.

Don't get it wrong, we are talking about husband here and not men nor adult boys. That you fathered a child also doesn't make you a husband. It is responsibility that makes a man a husband. If as a male partner, you abdicate your responsibility to the woman, you've made her the husband.

It's World Happy Husband Day, but are the true husbands really happy? I remembered the words of Pastor Sam King in the new Netflix movie 'Man of God,' where he poured his heart to his wife Teju saying 'I am miserable! I want to be happy.'

So many husbands are unhappy and dying slowly. For some, the problem is their wives, for others, it is the pressure of being a man and for many others like Pastor Sam King, the problem is themselves and their poor choices. Oh I have seen unhappy husbands that have tried to find happiness outside the home in friends and work. I have seen men of God that burry themselves at Church because the home is troubled. It doesn't work.

As happiness remains elusive, some have attempted to get it by fire by force. They bully their wives to submission, abusing them emotionally and physically like Osinachi. If they ever win, it will be pyrrhic victory or Watermelon Happiness - green (happy) on the outside but red (sad) on the inside.

Truth is, a husband cannot be happy outside of the wife. A research says if the wife likes her marriage, her husband feels better about life. This is because when a wife is satisfied with the marriage she tends to do a lot more for her husband, which has a positive effect on his life.” Bottom line is, for the husband to be happy, the wife has to be happy.

At the end, every true husband deserves to be happy and celebrated because we really do give our all for the family. Wives must create an enabling environment for husbands to love them and fuifil Colossians 3:19.

If you are a husband, be happy and if the home front is too toxic for you, be happy all the same because Jesus, our Chief husband died for his wife (the church) that every husband may live.

Stay hopeful. God's got your back.

Happy Easter.

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

THE DAY TUNDE SAW STARS

 

I was thinking this morning.... All my life the only time I can remember to have ever slapped anyone, I mean slap an adult, was in my second year at University. Being the smallest in my room meant I was the object of oppression for some of my broad shoulder roommates. It got to a head one quiet afternoon after I returned from the lecture theater very hungry. I had looked forward to enjoying my Oxford Cabin biscuit and Blueband butter, only to open the locker to find crumbs, indicating someone else had feasted on my lunch.

I was dazed and angry, not knowing what to think. Stuttering, I asked my broad shoulder roommates what happened. They laughed out loud. I could've buried my tail between my legs and just sleep my anger and hunger away, but Tunde will not let it go. He stood up, walked towards me and laughed in my face. Believe me, some spirit like I have never felt before, possessed me and I gave Tunde a 'Bianca-Will slap' that left him partially blind for a few seconds. How did I summon the courage to land Tunde such a slap knowing fully well that I could easily have been beaten to pulp? I immediately regretted my action but it was too late. I had resorted to violence rather than taking the high road.

As I watched how Bianca Ojukwu and Will Smith lost control and slapped their provocateurs in public, I remembered the effect Tunde had on me. I have seen people do things they never thought they were capable of because they were provoked. Why?

Our brains leap to our defense with a fight, flight or freeze response when faced with a threat, but it is a fine art to remain cool, calm and collected. Most of us have a 'Tunde' around us that will sometimes get our blood boiling. For some, it is their spouse, while for others their boss or colleague. How do you respond?

If you want to respond in a way that you’ll be proud of, in the face of extreme provocation, you need to maintain both physical and emotional distance from the threat. If faced with a 'Tunde', move away and promenade. Self-control is a scarce virtue these days where more and more people are resorting to violence.

Also remember to heed Ephesians 6:4 that says 'And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath.' I beg you to provoke no one, else the 'Bianca-Will Slap' will be your portion.

Stay hopeful. God's got your back.

Happy Sunday.

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

How Chickens Poisoned Our Jollof

 

I was thinking this morning..... these past few weeks have been hellish for most Nigerians as a result of near zero electricity and high cost of fuel for car or generator. The situation is so bad that a Nigerian, in our usual comic escape, shared the attached photo with the caption 'Even generators in Nigeria are on drip, fighting for their lives.

Last week our transportation system came under attack. First, there was an attack on Kaduna Airport leaving two dead, followed by back to back bombing of the Abuja-Kaduna Train service that left eight dead, several wounded and many kidnapped. Among the dead were a young medical doctor, Chinelo Nwando and top officials of Trade Union Congress (TUC). The TUC president, Comrade Quadri Olaleye, in a statement had lamented 'As it stands, nowhere is safe now – we cannot travel by air, road is not safe and neither is the rail. Is Nigeria a failed state?' My response is 'Not yet. The Country is just on life support.'

Then there was a silver lining in the dark clouds of Nigeria. A narrow window of opportunity for Nigerians to celebrate. The occasion was the Jollof derby. Everyone was hopeful that the 'jollof war' with Ghana will be decided once and for all. Our caterers (The Super Eagles) were bland in Kumasi having forgotten to spice our jollof. A replay in Abuja will be the decider and Nigerians were convinced it will be a 'sure banker'. Offices in Abuja closed at 1pm and over 100 buses mobilised to move people to the stadium.

Well over 71,000 Nigerians filled the MKO Abiola stadium and millions more around their TV sets with knives and forks in both hands ready to enjoy the jollof derby. When the meal was served, it didn't take long for us to realise that our jollof has been poisoned. Chickens rather than eagles showed up on the day and poo'ed on our jollof. Simply shambolic performance. They broke the hearts of Nigerians.

Combined with the challenges of the nation, many have lost their appetite for jollof while others are depressed. I encourage you all to rejoice (1st Thes 5:16) in spite of disappointment all around us. If we cannot enjoy jollof we will enjoy banga-rice or Native rice. Suffice to say, do not allow the happenings around you steal your joy, rather look up to God and rejoice.

Stay hopeful. God's got your back.

Happy Sunday.

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

Don't Make Me Your Ukraine

 

I was thinking this morning.... Days ago I watched a retired British Military Commander on Sky News give some high level perspective on the war in Ukraine. In closing the session, he was asked what he thought will be the impact of this war. He responded 'In any war, some will lose their lives, others will lose some part of their bodies but everyone involved in the combat will lose a part of their sanity.'

As he spoke, pictures of war veterans that have been mentally frazzled flashed through my mind. Truly, there is no one involved in a war that remains the same thereafter. I paused and asked myself 'why do we war against ourselves?'

Some persons are damaged from birth while others got broken having lost a good part of their sanity during a 'war' they were needlessly dragged into in the past. Either they were abused or surviving has been nothing but war. Persons like this are uncomfortable with peace. They have become war merchants like Vladimir Putin, seeking for a Ukraine to destroy. Put them in a group where there is cordiality and in no time they create strife and start a war.

As I reflected on the damage to life and properties in Ukraine, I thought of every group I belonged to and recalled how a few persons fit the bill of Putin and all I could think of to say was 'Oh God, please don't make me a Ukraine to any Putin around me.'

There are people in your office or business place, more powerful and successful than you, yet because of your potential for growth, they've sworn to destroy you. In your stead I plead, 'Please don't make me your Ukraine.'

In Nigeria, we have seen a fair share of those with the Putin tendency, whose mantra is 'be proselytised or be destroyed'. They war against dissenting members of their family and those not of their tribe, region or religion. If you are such, I beg you 'Please don't make me your Ukraine.'

For every Putin seeking for a Ukraine to destroy, please seek for help. If you are damaged beyond repair and must war then please war against the works of the flesh (Galatians 5:17).

Stay hopeful. God's got your back.

Happy Sunday.

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

FISHY THINGS

 

I was thinking this morning..... It has become traditional within my Hussey College Class of 86 for anyone visiting Abuja to be hosted to an evening of grilled fish and cold drinks. An outing now popularly called 'Fishy Things.' While fish and chips are very popular outside the shores of Nigeria, fish and boli or fish and roasted yam are the delicacies in Niger Delta.

As we all enjoy this scrumptious fish meal, what many do not appreciate is the danger lurking within, the fish bones. About two weeks ago, it was reported of how a Deputy Inspector-General and the head of the Nigeria Police Force Criminal Investigation Department (FCID), Joseph Egbunike died from complications from an operation to remove a fish bone that got stuck in his throat while consuming a meal in his office.

If you have ever had fish bone stuck in your throat (tonsils or esophagus) then you will understand that it causes premium pain and luxury discomfort. Hence growing up in Warri where we ate lots of fish meant we had to master the art of navigating through the dangers of fish bones inherent in a bowl of soup particularly one made with 'Ebolibo,' the itsekiri name for Sole fish. This fish like many others such as shad, mooneye, pickerel, carp, herring etc are born with extra sets of bones. Of all the bony fishes, shad (Latin name sapidissima) takes the cake. They have 3,000 bones, but their meat is so tasty.

As I mused, I discovered there are people and situations like shad fish that are tasty but with many dangerous bones within. You take them into your life and get pierced in the throat with their bones. A Chinese proverb says one should measure his throat before he swallows a bone, but I have learnt that it is not the size of the bone that matters but the type, shape and orientation.

The first step in fish bone risk mitigation is to be aware of the type of fish before you. When out for 'Fishy Things', ensure it is Tilapia or Catfish that is before you. If it is shad or its likes, then be ready to eat in slow motion. Overall, the message is, be careful who you let into your life or if you want to be fishy, be careful what you swallow. According to Luke 11:11, God no go shame us.

Stay hopeful. God's got your back.

Happy Sunday.

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

CITIZENS IN WAR AND PEACE

 

I was thinking this morning..... Since the start of the Russia-Ukraine war on February 24, there has been many hard lessons to learn. One lesson being pushed by some Nigerians is from the travail of Pastor Sunday Adelaja, a Nigerian preacher that has lived in Ukraine for over 35 years. According to this school of thought, all of Sunday Adelaja's investment are in Ukraine, he never saw any need to get a property in Nigeria or any other place. Now the war has made him homeless and he can't come back to Nigeria because he has no investment in Nigeria. They concluded by advising all Nigerians in diaspora to make investment at home a priority.

Hmm! While I fully support the conclusion for Nigerians to invest in Nigeria, the basis for reaching the conclusion is a pile of hocus-pocus. First, they accuse the preacher of not investing in Nigeria or any other nation of world. Is this fact-based? How many Nigerians have investment outside of Nigeria or even outside of their State? Should war broke out in Nigeria, where will they run to? Secondly, over 2.5 million Ukrainians that have lived and invested in Ukraine, like the narrators are consoling themselves for being and living in Nigeria, have been displaced and become refugees in other nations. So the issue is not about Nigerians coming home but of peace in the nation.

As I thought about war, I concluded that it is good to have dual nationality but best to have triple nationality. By dual nationality, many will think of being citizens of two countries (like 1% of UK citizens and less for Nigeria), but I am referring to being citizen of your birth country first and then of the world. This means should war break out in your country, you emigrate to any other country where there is peace. This doesn't exist, but even if it does, what if there is world war?

Hence my advocacy for triple nationality. Your home nation should be first and any other nation of the world as back up in the event of war in your primary nation of residence. And if there is world war, be sure you are a citizen of heaven, otherwise, 'yawa go gas.'

In closing my thought I recalled a Ukrainian on Sky News telling the world in a sombre voice 'The peace you have, value it, enjoy it because peace is priceless.' Let's pray for God to give Ukraine and the world peace by all means (2nd Thessalonians 3:16).

Stay hopeful. God's got your back.

Happy Sunday.

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

Counter 24 Experience

 

I was thinking this morning...... a friend and the wife travelled to London recently and had to as usual go through immigration. When they eventually got to the front of the usually long 'Non-UK passport holders' line, an officer said 'Next person to Counter 24 please.' The immigration officer at Counter 24 was very friendly and straight to the point. He asked just a couple of questions, took their finger prints and handed back their green passports saying 'Enjoy your stay in the UK.' After picking up their checked-in luggage, they exited through the 'Nothing to declare' gate. Immediately, a young UK Border Force officer pulled them aside for further search of their bags.

My friend was getting agitated at this time, and ready to accuse the lady of profiling but he held his peace while the lady turned the bags inside out. At the end, she flipped through the pages of the 'green booklet' and asked 'madam, why was your passport not stamped by the immigration officer?' 'Really?' The wife asked in surprise. After confirmation, the woman returned with the officer to the immigration desk where the boss expressed doubt that she actually passed through immigration or was smuggled in. 'Ahh! We were attended to at Counter 24' the woman said to clear any doubt. They told her that had the error not been discovered early, she would have been detained during her return trip and remain there until after a thorough investigation. Wow!

When she returned to her husband with the stamped passport, they discussed the wider implications of this seemingly simple error by the officer in Counter 24, which we can refer to as 'Counter 24 experience.' We all sometimes have a 'Counter 24' experience at different stages of life. When someone gets a wrong medical result that turns his or her life upside down, it's a 'Counter 24' experience. When you passed an interview and given a week to accept the offer but the email sent to you was sent to a wrong email address, it's a 'Counter 24' experience.

Some 'Counter 24' experience may be like a storm in a teacup while others may be earth shaking and life changing. Some persons get drowned by it, while others get saved by grace like my friend. Had the Border Force officer not stopped them for search, the error could not have been discovered. For them all things worked together for good (Romans 8:28).

Stay hopeful. God's got your back.

Happy Sunday.

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey