MARRIAGE IS A FEELING STATION

 

I was thinking this morning...... It wasn't until I owned a car that I fully appreciated that, apart from dispensing petrol and diesel, most modern filling stations also retail LPG and vehicle accessories. Some offer vehicle servicing and maintenance services, convenience store as well as car wash. They are set up to be one-stop-shops for car owners. When I saw the sign 'Feeling Station Now Open' instead of 'Filling Station,' I smiled at the innocent mistake as I had another epiphany.

Why do many good men and women sometimes end up in bad marriages? Recently, I read the scandalous news of a pastor's wife that slept with the husband's brother. Following severe dragging on social media, the woman made a video to explain her side of the story. She confessed to being ashamed of her actions and that her husband was a genuine man of God but was always fasting and travelling for ministry assignments and never really gave attention to her needs as a woman. Hmm! My take? Marriage is a 'Feeling station.'

There are many couples, some well educated and with good jobs and others illiterate and broke, that their marriages have become an 'endurance race.' They have entered into the race and can't pull out, yet it is gruelling and taking a toll on their health. Some are emotionally drained due to the constant bickering and are wondering, 'How did I get to this point?' Tough question, but the answer is in the early realisation that marriage is a 'Feeling station.'

The more time a vehicle spends being serviced at the filling station (oil, brakes and tyre pressure check, fueling etc), the better it will perform at the journey. Similarly, in the journey of marriage, a couple must give time to each other, because marriage is a 'Feeling station' where emotional and physical needs must be serviced. Just like you can't service your car virtually, physical presence is important for connection and warmth.

The belief by some men that being the emperor, the conqueror, the champion and the lion of the house, is all that is required for a successful marriage, is an error. For those about to open a 'Feeling Station,' fidelity, communication and love are vital materials for success. For marriage to be honourable among all (Hebrews 13:4), then you must see it as a 'Feeling station.'

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

SAVE ME HO GOD

 

I was thinking this morning.... I remember my early days of Sunday School at First Baptist Church, Warri. We were told how God changed the name of Abram to Abraham and that the inserted 'ha' signifies the breath of life. Since then I have believed that the short audible breath through the mouth associated with pronouncing 'H' signifies a deep commitment from the soul.

When I saw the inscription 'Save me Ho God,' I immediately understood that it wasn't a typo but the heart cry of a drowning man. Simply put, 'Save me ho God' is the senior brother of 'Save me oh God'. When someone is experiencing challenges, he says 'Save me oh God,' but when going through problems pro max alias 'shege,' he shouts 'Save me Ho God.'

As I mused on those words, I remembered the incident of the early morning hours of 15 April 1912, when RMS Titanic, with an estimated 2,224 people on board, sank in the North Atlantic Ocean, four days into her maiden voyage from Southampton to New York City. As the Titanic sank in icy waters, after striking an iceberg, I can only imagine the horror on the faces of the people and many screaming, 'Save me Ho God.'

Fast forward 111 years. Five persons boarded a submersible watercraft and set out on an expedition. Where to? Wait for it. To explore the Titanic shipwreck in the North Atlantic, about 12,500 feet deep in the ocean. The same Titanic that took the lives of close to 1,500 persons. No be juju be that? As details began to surface of the catastrophic implosion of the Titan craft and how the five men died, I could only imagine them screaming 'Save me Ho God.'

Meanwhile, somewhere in Okomomaiko, Lagos, a father of four is still struggling with petrol price increase to over N500/ltr and then he heard that electricity tariff will increase by July 1. He shook his head and says 'Save me Ho God!'

These are perilous times and life can be tough but no one prays to experience a heart-wrenching situation that will make one shout 'Save me Ho God.' Whether you are saying 'Save me oh God' or 'Save me Ho God,' crying to God for help is the right call to make in an impossible situation (Psalms 3:7). 

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

I KNOW A MAN

 

I was thinking this morning.... Two days ago, a colleague checked out of his hotel room in Port-Harcourt unbeknownst to him that he left his wad of greenbacks in the room. The cleaner came in afterwards and saw the money. He took the money (worth over N7 million) to his supervisor and it was eventually returned to the owner. Why would a worker on a yearly salary of less than a million naira do that? He must have considered his children and the legacy he wants to leave behind. In my conclusion, I said, this man is a father.

I know a man that earns about N50,000 monthly and have 6 children with two in the University. With the impact of fuel subsidy removal, he treks 15km daily to get to his place of work. Why must he make this huge sacrifice? This man is a father.

I knew a man in the 'yard' we grew up in Warri who came home and met his wife and children quarreling with another family. The man of the other family also came out to defend his family. When both men could no longer stomach the insults on their wives and children, a free-for-all family fight broke out that landed both men in the hospital. As I looked back to understand why, I concluded, those men were fathers.

I know a man doing well as an accountant in Nigeria. One evening he was kidnapped on his way from work and almost lost his life but for God. Not long after, he sold his big house and relocated (japa'ed) to Canada. Years after, I visited him in his 3 bed, 2 bath apartment in Toronto. He was living a very modest life but the children were happy. I sat with him to understand why and he said 'I sacrificed my luxury in Nigeria so my children can grow up in a sane environment where life matters and education is not seen as a scam. I looked at him, shook my head and said 'this man is a father.'

It is easy for one to think of men that are rich and famous as the ideal model of a father. Fatherhood is more about the sacrifices we make for our family than the luxury we provide. A true father is one that fights for his family, sacrifices his comfort for them, loves his children and their mother and leaves the legacy of integrity and truth for them (Proverbs 13:22).

If you know a man that is a true father, please join me to wish him 'Happy Fathers Day.'

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

JUNE 11

 

I was thinking this morning.... about June 11. I woke up this morning with June 11 plastered all over my subconscious. As I wondered why, I was taken on a journey through time. I hesitated and asked 'Where to and why?' I heard a soft whisper 'Relax! Walk with me.'

I was taken into a large room with several doors. As I turned the knob of the first door, I immediately saw myself in medieval times. I was witnessing the wedding of King Henry VIII of England to his first wife, Catherine of Aragon. It was a private ceremony in the church of the Observant Friars outside Greenwich Palace. When I checked the date, it was June 11, 1509.

I exited that room and opened the second door and saw myself in Missuola County in Montana, USA. I watched as a baby girl was being delivered. 'But who is she?' I asked and was told she will be named Jeannette Rankin, and will grow up to become a politician and the first woman to be a member of the U.S. Congress. The date? It was June 11, 1880.

At this time, I was frowning and wondering where all this was going. As I moved towards the third door, it opened and I was sucked into a theater. When I looked at the big screen, it was the premiere of Steven Spielberg's blockbuster E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial. I recalled my days in Hussey college, Warri when that movie was released. As I stood up to leave, the date flashed by and it was June 11, 1982.

There were two more doors even as my anxiety heightened. The 4th door opened and I was blowing vuvuzela in a huge stadium in South Africa. The mood was electric. As I jumped and sang with the crowd, I discovered it was the opening ceremony of the 19th FIFA World Cup tournament, the first on the African continent. The date was June 11, 2010.

I left the stadium smiling but exhausted from opening doors. But there is one more, the voice whispered. Reluctantly, I opened and saw myself in Benin city, Nigeria. A mother was smiling on a Sunday morning like today. 'What's the reason for her joy?' I asked. 'A baby girl has been born,' I was told. 'But who is she?' I asked further. 'She will be called Edirin and will in later years become the wife of your youth and the mother of your children.' Wow!

Now I understand why I was taken back in time. It is to learn that though celebrities were born, histories were made, great men died on June 11, yet nothing makes today June 11 more special than the fact that my young wife was born.

Happy birthday to the wife of my youth. May the good Lord remember you for good as you celebrate.

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

A TASTE OF LIFE'S BANQUET

 

I was thinking this morning.... about the meal we get to eat in life. On the 26th of May 2023, the Federal government had announced the appointment of the Deputy Comptroller-General of Immigration, Adepoju Carol Wura-Ola, as the acting Comptroller-General (CG). The appointment took effect from Tuesday, the 30th of May 2023. That would've been no news except that she was due for retirement on the 31st of May 2023. Effectively, she was CG for just one day. Hmm!!!

The blessings we enjoy in life can be akin to a scrumptious meal. The Customs CG had hungered and prayed to be served the position of Comptroller-General. It delayed for years and when it eventually came, she was only able to taste it but no time to eat to her full. She was retired.

As I reflected, I recalled a time I prayed and worked so hard to get to a position. After about 7 years, I finally got there. Thankfully, I enjoyed it for years. Not everyone that hungers get to eat the meal they crave. Some get a seat at the banquet table, savour the aroma and even touch the meal but die or retire at the point of their being served. Some others, like the Customs CG, get there, taste it but before they could eat it, it is taken away from them. Then there are those who get there, taste it and have a fill. Life is a banquet.

Life is a banquet table that serves everyone a different type of meal. I remember dreaming and working hard to study medicine and be a doctor. I was even in Medical school for a month but life says no. I ended up studying Microbiology. The rest is history. There are some that love and wish to eat amala and ewedu, but life serves them fried rice.

Have you considered why no two persons get exactly the same blessings all through life? It is because we all sit on different positions at the banquet table. You are served what is in front of you. Enjoy your meal and do not concern yourself with what life has served me because I am enjoying mine. At the end of the day, we all will have a different taste of life's banquet. John 21:22 - Jesus said to him, “If I will that he remain till I come, what is that to you? You follow Me.”

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

EBOBO! IT'S A SICK WORLD

 

I was thinking this morning.... News broke this past week of a Nigerian man living in the UK who was arrested for impregnating his wife, his wife's mother and his wife's sister. According to the news, suspicions arose when all three ladies started showing pregnancy symptoms at the same time. As concerns around possible manipulation and misuse of power arose, all I could do was exclaim in the voice of my mum, 'ebobo!' (Which means 'wonderful' in my native Itsekiri language).

I was still scratching my head when I read snippets of World of Statistics and came across one that left me in shock. It was about the number of years it took different products to gain 50 million users. For Airlines, it was 68 years and cars 62 years. For telephone it was 50 years, credit card - 28 years, TV - 22 years, computers - 14 years, Internet - 7 years, YouTube- 4 years, Facebook- 3 years, Twitter - 2 years. The shocker? For PornHub (a pornography site), it took just 19 days for 50 million users to subscribe. Surely, it's a sick world and in one day, I shouted my second 'ebobo!'

It was almost bedtime when I saw photos showing billionnaire owner of Twitter, Elon Musk, kissing a humanoid (robot) with the news saying he plans to release 'robot wives' for sale later this year. I was about shouting my third 'ebobo' when I received information that the photos are fake and AI generated. Phew!!!

What is this madness about sex that the perversion has degenerated from same sex marriage to sex toys and now robot wives (even though there is currently no evidence that robot wives are being produced). Truly, it's a sick world.

How can one man impregnate three members of one family? Chai! When it comes to sexual immorality, Sodom and Gomorrah dey learn work. That the world is sick does not imply you should get infected. You can be immuned to the immorality in the world. Let's start by promoting chastity. If we must shout 'ebobo!' Let it be for something positive. Remember that you are in this world but not of this world (John 17:16).

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

BACK THROUGH THE YEARS

 

I was thinking this morning.... Last Tuesday, we had our departmental team building away day. It was a time to get away from it all - the meetings, inspections  and long hours of looking into the computer. As part of the activities lined up to help us unwind were games and karaoke sessions.

I had never partaken in any karaoke session in the past, not only because I am not a great singer but primarily because I usually do not visit karaoke lounges. The closest to karaoke I have ever had was singing along with the church choir.

On this day, I summoned up courage and took the microphone. My colleagues were surprised, fixing their eyes on me. I loosened up even as the beats of Dolly Parton 'Coats of Many Colours' rang and the lyrics started scrolling on the screen.

'Back through the years, I go wandering once again. Back to seasons of my youth....' I sang the first line and kept singing even as my colleagues joined me on the floor. On and on I went until the very last words, '...Made just for me.' The score? 90%. As everyone clapped and gave me a hug, I felt like a child and was truly taken back to the days of my youth in Warri.

Back in days, we didn't have karaoke, but we danced ulaga (singing ulaga kiledemo) while the girls played ten-ten. We didn't have video games, so we created our version of action game, 'war-start'. We played soccerli, koto (from snail shells) sardine-key (nearest to the wall), ceeway (or suwe) and rubber seed. Every day was away day for us as kids.

The world is a different place today. It's so difficult for us to unwind these days. It seems and sometimes feels like we are carrying the whole world on our shoulders. With heightened insecurity, our children have become prisoners at home while we the parents are the prison wardens. Little wonder mental health challenges are on the rise.

Take life easy. Create time to refresh, laugh and unwind. Sing and dance with your children or with the choir. Otherwise, sing unto the Lord (Psalms 96:1).

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey