Sunday 3 November 2024

LESSONS FROM A GOOD MAN



I was thinking this morning.... Last Thursday, I met with my boss and friend who was retiring November 1, after a very successful and meritorious career. As we gisted that evening, we reflected on his journey and the paths that led him to this point. With every story, he dropped a lesson for me.


The first point that struck home for me was when he said, 'The office you occupy does not make you, you make the office.' Hmm! Most people fight and wait to get into an office, believing it will make them better persons. No. Irrespective of the office you occupy, you are who you are. A cleaner who is a good person will be good whether he becomes a manager or CEO. The wicked and bad leaders we have today did not become bad because of the office. They were wicked and bad before they got there.

I was still digesting the office and the person nugget when he dropped another that really hit me personally. He said, 'While at work, don’t take things too serious because things change. Don't overthink or get too hurt by what a colleague said or did, because time changes everything.' Ouch! That was for me. In the recent past, I felt really hurt by the actions of some colleagues that I almost changed from being who I am.

People do things on the basis of what they know per time. Their actions may not be personal and may have been driven by the circumstances at the time. Wait it out. Everything changes with time. Don't stop being good because of the missteps of someone. Just like you expect others to understand when you misstep, you also should understand when they do something that you feel was wrong.

Thanks, Andy for the departure nuggets but many more thanks for being more of a friend than a boss over the last 20 years. Like they say, life is in phases, and men are in sizes. As you move from one phase of your life to another, may your retirement be merry and blessed with good health. May you continue to be a blessing to everyone who comes around you.

Psalm 37:23 says, 'The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord.' Because you are a good man, the Lord will order your steps as you retire. Take a bow.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

Sunday 27 October 2024

Daddy, Do You Want To Die?



I was thinking this morning..... I visited Abuja this past week for a few days and decided to hang out with my Hussey College Class of 86 friends. We visited a Warri inspired restaurant called Enerhen Junction Kitchen at Gwarinpa to savour some Owo and starch and other orishirishi. After a scrumptious meal, we set out to earn our pay for the rest of the day.


As we drove back to the office, our main host accused us of not acknowledging his new haircut and how he had eliminated all the grey hairs he had. When we asked why he dyed his grey hairs, he told us a short story. 'Recently, my 8-year-old daughter had come to me and said 'Daddy, why do you have so many white hairs? Daddy, do you want to die? That statement from my little daughter completely changed my view about grey hairs.' He concluded.

The innocent 8-year-old believes the more grey hairs you have, the closer you are to the grave, and she was alarmed that her dad might be going. In recent years, I have taken notice of the rate at which young people grey. It is quite alarming. You see people in their twenties and thirties with grey, and you wonder like the 8-year-old, are they that old and ready to die?

To avoid giving the impression that they are ready to die, some have adopted the 'bololo' look by completely shaving off every strand of hair on their head, while others mask the grey hairs with black dye. For the few bold ones that are happy with the silver and shiny greys on their head, you should reflect on the question of the little girl, 'Do you want to die?'

Apart from genetics and vitamin deficiency, stress from the challenges of life is the biggest cause of greying. It's like when someone is overthinking his or her problem, the brain becomes so hot that the hairs get fried and manifest as grey.

The world is full of problems and may even be worse in Nigeria, because of a condition many call T-Pain Syndrome. Job 14:1 says, 'Man that is born of a woman is of few days, and full of trouble.' My appeal to you is not to overthink your challenges else you turn grey and an 8-year-old will ask you, 'Do you want to die?' Relax and make the best of life.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

Sunday 20 October 2024

THE SAD PAKISTANI

 


I was thinking this morning.... To commence my return from a recent trip abroad, I booked an Uber to the airport and was picked up by a driver who happened to be a Pakistani sojourning in a foreign land. As we set out, he struck a conversation by asking where I was from. I told him Nigeria. He followed up by asking if I was going home. I responded in the affirmative.

He paused for a few seconds and then said something profound. He said 'You are very lucky.' 'How so?' I asked. 'You see. Whenever I take someone, who is returning home, to the airport, it makes me sad reminding me of how much I miss my family back in Pakistan. My aged parents and wife are back home in Pakistan and I haven't been able to see them in about 2 years. My mum has a heart condition and can't travel, so my wife had to stay back to care for her and my dad. I can't travel as often as I wish because I have to work year round to send money home.'

As he spoke, I mused. One man's home is another man's farm or vacation spot. For some, Canada is home while Nigeria is farmland. A Nigerian with his or her immediate family abroad will board a flight from Lagos and say I am going home, while another visiting abroad will call Nigeria home. Home is where your loved ones are. A man without loved ones because he had chased them away with his bad character is a true definition of a homeless man.

The wife of your youth, loving children, warm family and loyal friends are the key components of a happy home. Cherish them today. My prayer for you is that of Proverbs 5:18 - 'May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.'

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

Sunday 13 October 2024

THE SOULLESS NIGERIAN

 


I was thinking this morning..... In the past couple of weeks, I had conversations with two of my friends on how it has become unreasonably expensive to drive a car in Nigeria. One that works in Port-Harcourt with his family in Warri, lamented that driving his car to Warri and back now cost him about N100k each weekend. The other revealed that in the last one month, just driving from Sangotedo where he lives to his office at Lagos mainland daily and then to Church in Epe on Sundays, he had spent a total of N400k on petrol. I was still doing my own calculation, when I heard that NNPC had again increased pump price of PMS to N1,030, with independent marketers in different parts of the nation selling for between N1,100 and N1,500.

As I pondered on the likely ripple effect of this recent increase, I stumbled on a passionate and emotional discussion by four ladies on News Central TV. One of the ladies was so emotional about the impact on ordinary Nigerians to the point of tears that she walked off stage.

One lady said that things are so tough that some families, once referred to as middle class, can no longer afford to send their children to school at the same time. The children now take turns to go to school. One will attend this term or this year and the other next term or next year. Chai!

Another of the discussant said she met a family where the mother of the children, who happens to be the bread winner, is now forced to eat every other day so that her children can eat one meal a day. If she eats today, she won't eat the next day.

Yet another added that she was told of a once well to do family that, with the current prices of food, the father and mother now shares one egg while their three children share another one egg, because they can no longer afford to buy more than a crate of egg each month.

If the hitherto middle class are groaning, it is difficult to imagine what the poor are going through. More heart-wrenching is that in the midst of this pervasive poverty and economic strangulation, you still see our political leaders wasting and obscenely displaying our stolen wealth. I was tempted to say they are heartless. Not a fitting description. Wicked? No. How best do we describe them? Oh yeah! They are soulless. Too many leaders and followers are soulless. Only a man without a soul would be blind to the suffering in the land. Mark 8:36.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

Sunday 6 October 2024

BETTER TO BE LOT

 


I was thinking this morning.... The year was 2007, and I was in the office singing 'Compassionate Jesus' as I broused my stock portfolio with glee. I had invested millions in the Nigeria stock market and was happy with the growth. Then came 2008, the stock market crashed like no one had anticipated. All our cash literally got burnt. There was blood in the streets as people bled across the country.

Most people immediately switched to real estate as a means to grow their wealth. It has always been the most secured investment to make, experts touted. We jumped in as well. Five years later, in 2013, I got a different perspective of real estate and life. A civil war had broken out in Syria, and within 24 months, the most developed cities were nothing but wastelands. As I watched, I asked within myself what happens to people's lifelong investment in those real estates?

In February 2019, I visited the well-known city of Ephesus in the bible, now in present-day Turkey. As I walked the streets of Ephesus, I saw what used to be the iconic library of Celsus, a huge theater and the temple of Artemis (one of the seven wonders of the ancient world), all lying in ruins, undone by time. I paused and asked, 'What happened to the investment in those real estates?'

Years passed, and it was February 2023, a full year after Russia invaded Ukraine. The once admired cities in Ukraine are now in ruins. Factories, cathedrals, mansions, and apartment blocks, all destroyed by lethal munitions. With tears welling up in my eyes, I wondered, 'What happened to the investments of men?'

Tomorrow, October 7, marks a year since the Gaza war, which has now extended to Lebanon, has been raging. Investments that took years to raise are crashing in minutes. Oh my God, what happens to those investments?'

It's great to have material possessions, stocks and real estates, but let not your life be tied to them because it only takes two political or religious leaders saying 'I no go gree-I no go gree' to bring it all down. Whatever material possessions you have should be such that you can walk away from should there be 'kperegede.' Better to be Lot than Lot's wife. Genesis 19:26.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

Sunday 29 September 2024

THE PATHS OF LIFE

 


I was thinking this morning... It was in May of 1991, a few months before we graduated as microbiologists from the University of Benin. It was about 10 a.m., and the next lecture was not until an hour later. While some strayed out to grab a bite, most of us stayed back in the MCB lab to gist and prepare for the next class.

In our small group, gisting were Quice, Akeem, Osaretin, Rosemary, Robert, Steve, myself, and a few others. We couldn't help but feel a mix of excitement and relief. "Only a few more months, and we all will be graduates!" Someone exclaimed. The rest of us nodded vigorously as we discussed the field of microbiology each person will major on.

While someone said food and beverage, setting his thoughts on Cadbury and Nestle, another was more interested in medical microbiology. "For me, it's environmental microbiology. I have to work with one of the oil companies in my community," I chipped in confidently. Our chatter and occasional laughter filled the MCB lab, as we counted down the days until graduation. A few months later, we graduated with fanfare. Standing at this junction of life, we strolled into real life, everyone in a different direction.

Thirty-three (33) years later, last week, four of us in that group met at the Pickle Barrel Restaurant in Toronto. The first time we would be together since that conversation we had as budding Microbiologists at Uniben. We hugged and gisted, looking back on how far we've come in the journey of life.

Though we started with the same background as Microbiologists, we are today worlds apart career wise. One of us is an executive in pension management. Another retired from the US Army. Yet another majored in Health and Safety in Oil and Gas in Nigeria. Only one of the four is working as a microbiologist. Wow! We had similar plans, but life differentiated us.

Studying for a first degree most often brings people to a common platform or junction. That is where it ends. What happens thereafter is at the instance of life. The direction each person goes is not always in our hands. Life happens to everyone and drags us to places and fields we seldom expect. There are as many paths in life as the over 6 billion people on earth. Each person's path is different. Have faith in God, stay the course, and be grateful for wherever you find yourself. 1st Thessalonians 5:18.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

Sunday 22 September 2024

ERIK THE BAMBIALLAH

 


I was thinking this morning.... I spent my childhood and teenage years in Warri in the seventies and eighties. It was full of unforgettable experiences. One of such memories was of blind beggars led by children moving around begging for money. Everyone called them bambiallah. A word I still don't understand the origin or meaning.

The bambiallahs left us with the belief that the blind are unable to provide for themselves nor achieve anything meaningful in life. Residues of this belief still resided in my deepest recess until last Monday when I listened to Erik Weihenmayer, a blind American adventurer and author. He gave the keynote speech, titled "No Barriers," at the National Safety Council (NSC) Congress and Expo in Orlando, Florida.

I have listened to great speeches by great men but have never been challenged by a blind man like I was that day. Erik wasn't seeing the audience or screen but did not miss a line, mix up the story deck, or left out the key messages. It was a riveting speech that blew my mind.

As a blind adventurer, Erik told us how, years after he became fully blind, he climbed Mt. Everest and the seven summits and kayaked the Grand Canyon. He recalled how he and his team once climbed a vertical ice mountain in the Himalayas. When they got to the peak and the snow blew, it got very dark with no light. Within hours, his team started complaining to him that they couldn't see. How ironic. If they are complaining within a few hours of not seeing, what should Erik, that hasn't seen for most of my life, do?

There are many Eriks that ended up being a bambiallah instead of a world conqueror. No doubt, barriers and obstacles are real and can stop us in our tracks. If obstacles stop you, you end up being a bambiallah, but if, like Erik, you figure out a way to harness those obstacles and propel yourself to new places, then you achieve greatness.

Let nothing stop you today. Dig deep and push yourself ahead. Don't be a bambiallah. Philippians 4:13.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey