I NO GO GREE, I NO GO GREE

I was thinking this morning.... It was a cool Saturday morning a few weeks ago. I had been approached by a leader in the organisation I belonged to discuss how to handle the issue of the return of a member to the group after resigning a couple of years ago. What started as a quiet conversation soon got intensed due to our diametrically opposed viewpoints. The room's tranquil atmosphere was disrupted by the heated discussion between myself and this leader. Our voices, usually filled with warmth and compassion, were now laced with conviction and concern.

"We can’t simply welcome him back with open arms," he emphasized, his brow furrowed. I immediately countered, "But we preach forgiveness. If he has genuinely repented, we must extend grace and restore his privileges." The leader's expression remained stern. "Privileges are earned, not handed out like candy," he said. At this point, my voice rose. "E kill person? What exactly is the problem?" I pushed back in frustration.

As the debate raged on, I realised it had shifted from a conversation to an argument. Neither of us was ready to shift our grounds. It seemed we were in a competition to win the argument even as we exchanged determined glances.

At this point, I recalled the words I read in the book 'How To Become A People Magnet.' It says that when you argue to win, you lose your opponent's sympathy. No one really wins an argument. Someone also said recently that communicating is one thing, but your tone while communicating is everything. With that realisation, I pulled back and ended the conversation.

Life should be simple. I no go gree, I no go gree, na im dey tear shirt. My young wife's favourite proverb also comes to mind. She will always say, 'Na person wey argue with King, na im dey kneel down for long.' Time has taught me to avoid engaging in trivial or unnecessary conflicts. Your strength surpasses such trivial battles. True victory isn't just about winning fights and arguments. Winning a fight does not define your worth; you are genuinely valuable. Know this and know peace. Remember Romans 12:18.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

20 Years and 20/20 Vision

 

I was thinking this morning...... Last Friday, 22nd November, was the Long Service Award (LSA) ceremony in my organisation. Staff that had put in 10, 15, 20, 25, and 30 years of service were honoured. I am still in awe that it's been 20 years since I walked into that office to commence a new career. Wow! 20 years no be beans o.

As I walked into the majestic and grand EUI Event Centre in GRA Port-Harcourt, the large hall room unfolded like an outstretched arm. Soft light danced, a gentle ethereal glow, illuminated round tables with empty seats, in silence they bestowed.

Along with other awardees and our guests, we gradually filled the hall, gorgeously dressed to receive my award for 20 years of meritorious service. As the roll call progressed, I remembered July 2004 when I resumed work in this world-class organisation. After years of kabashing, my prayers were finally answered.

Twenty years had since flown by like the NASA X-43 jet. I started my new career with lots of dreams and aspirations. Many had been answered and some yet to be answered. As I reflected on the past 20 years, I felt like I had underachieved. But then, as I mused, I discovered that the blessing is not in the position one occupies today but rather it is in being alive to be celebrated after 20 years.

In the last few weeks, we have been stunned by the death of three colleagues, with the latest sad news breaking on the morning of Friday, the day of the Long Service Award. While many of us were preparing for our 20 years LSA, this lady that had been with us for about 20 years was no more.

I have long known that hindsight is 20/20 vision. 20/20 indicates normal vision at 20 feet, although it is commonly used to mean 'perfect vision.' When someone is able to see only after an event how things turned out, that person is often said to have had "20/20 hindsight. For many of my colleagues, celebrating 20 years was a time to eat, drink, and feast, but for me, 20 years was a time to reflect on the last 20 years. Truly, hindsight is 20/20 vision.

For the last 20 years, I have been thankful for being alive, for my career, and for friends and colleagues. Romans 9:16 - So then it is not of him that willeth, nor of him that runneth, but of God that sheweth mercy.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

THE FEAR-FEAR WARRI BOY

 

I was thinking this morning.... Growing up in Warri was tough and rough but it never really made me a man of steel. Yes, I grew up in the rugged neighbourhood of Ogboru and Father Healy streets, occassionally mingling with 'jagudas' and 'boma boys,' yet I couldn't pick up the jaguda gene. I participated in all the rough plays and even danced ulaga, but I remained a fear-fear, because in the face of trouble, or like we say, when yawa gas, I was one of the first to flee.

Years went by, and I had to leave Warri for University in Benin City. On arrival in Uniben, I identified with other Warri boys, but that was only with regards to hailings. When it came to playing tough and rough, the fear-fear boy would not be there. My liver dey cut me. My roommates in Hall 2 hostel knew me as a Warri boy, but they also knew that I was only Warri by mouth and had no liver. They knew that the jaguda Spirit Warri boys were known for had no accommodation in me.

With that knowledge, they looked down on me, taunted me, and downright disrespected me. When that happened, I would talk tough and sometimes threaten them, like a typical Warri boy would've done. But then, my words amounted to nothing because, like we say in Warri, 'threaten na water, action dey blood.'

This continued for a whole year. I kept threatening them but never backed my words with action. Until one fateful day, the bulies took their insolence to a new high. They broke into my locker and plundered my Cabin biscuit and butter. When I asked why they did that, they laughed at me and said I should do my worst. All they saw before them was the fear-fear Warri boy.

As they laughed at me, I fumed, but still my muscles remained weak. Suddenly, it seemed the spirit of jaguda and boma combined, had rushed into me. I moved towards one of them and, like someone possessed by strange spirits, gave him a blinding, brain re-setting slap. Everyone one of them was in shock. They couldn't believe that the fear-fear Warri boy truly had jaguda in him. I walked away that day fully satisfied that my 'Warri-ness' was not a fluke.

My bullies, on the other hand, learnt a hard lesson. In the face of danger, oppression, or adversity, people become what they never knew they were. Don't push people to the wall with your evil. You might get an unexpected wotowoto. On the flip side, if you don't challenge yourself, you will never realise what you can achieve. Romans 5: 3-5.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

I TOO KNOW (ITK)

 

I was thinking this morning..... I was in the office on Thursday morning when the new SIWES student who recently joined us was brought to my desk for introduction. As she sat down, I asked her her course of study, and she said microbiology. When I asked the courses she had taken thus far, it was like I opened a high-pressure pipe. She started by reeling out the courses and then just went on and on until I stopped her. In my mind, I thought, 'Hmm! This one na ITK.'

In my time and area of Warri where I grew up, when someone talks more than expected, that person is called know-know or I Too Know (ITK). But then, it is too early to judge this young girl and conclude she is ITK, I reprimanded myself.

Reflecting on what happened moments later, I recalled how I had observed adults and children act in my wife's podcast and concluded that what they were doing was so easy. I decided to act in one of the skits and made mouth that it should be a piece of cake. I only heard 'Camera on, Action!' and I forgot my lines. It was then I knew I was ITK. No wonder a Warri proverb says, 'I know too much, I know too much na em make SAN no fit recite National Anthem.'

A lot of times, ITKs talk themselves into trouble. I have found myself in such a situation before and quickly realised thereafter that there is a fine line between confidence and arrogance. I also discovered that ITK behaviour is actually fueled by ego.

It is wrong to look down on what someone does or underestimate the value one brings to the table. The task might seem mundane and ordinary to you, until you try it then you will truly understand the Warri proverb that says 'I know too much, I know too much na em make SAN no fit recite National Anthem.'

Respect everyone and what they do. 1st Cor 8:2 says, 'And if any man think that he knoweth any thing, he knoweth nothing yet as he ought to know.'

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

LESSONS FROM A GOOD MAN

I was thinking this morning.... Last Thursday, I met with my boss and friend who was retiring November 1, after a very successful and meritorious career. As we gisted that evening, we reflected on his journey and the paths that led him to this point. With every story, he dropped a lesson for me.

The first point that struck home for me was when he said, 'The office you occupy does not make you, you make the office.' Hmm! Most people fight and wait to get into an office, believing it will make them better persons. No. Irrespective of the office you occupy, you are who you are. A cleaner who is a good person will be good whether he becomes a manager or CEO. The wicked and bad leaders we have today did not become bad because of the office. They were wicked and bad before they got there.

I was still digesting the office and the person nugget when he dropped another that really hit me personally. He said, 'While at work, don’t take things too serious because things change. Don't overthink or get too hurt by what a colleague said or did, because time changes everything.' Ouch! That was for me. In the recent past, I felt really hurt by the actions of some colleagues that I almost changed from being who I am.

People do things on the basis of what they know per time. Their actions may not be personal and may have been driven by the circumstances at the time. Wait it out. Everything changes with time. Don't stop being good because of the missteps of someone. Just like you expect others to understand when you misstep, you also should understand when they do something that you feel was wrong.

Thanks, Andy for the departure nuggets but many more thanks for being more of a friend than a boss over the last 20 years. Like they say, life is in phases, and men are in sizes. As you move from one phase of your life to another, may your retirement be merry and blessed with good health. May you continue to be a blessing to everyone who comes around you.

Psalm 37:23 says, 'The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord.' Because you are a good man, the Lord will order your steps as you retire. Take a bow.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

Daddy, Do You Want To Die?

I was thinking this morning..... I visited Abuja this past week for a few days and decided to hang out with my Hussey College Class of 86 friends. We visited a Warri inspired restaurant called Enerhen Junction Kitchen at Gwarinpa to savour some Owo and starch and other orishirishi. After a scrumptious meal, we set out to earn our pay for the rest of the day.

As we drove back to the office, our main host accused us of not acknowledging his new haircut and how he had eliminated all the grey hairs he had. When we asked why he dyed his grey hairs, he told us a short story. 'Recently, my 8-year-old daughter had come to me and said 'Daddy, why do you have so many white hairs? Daddy, do you want to die? That statement from my little daughter completely changed my view about grey hairs.' He concluded.

The innocent 8-year-old believes the more grey hairs you have, the closer you are to the grave, and she was alarmed that her dad might be going. In recent years, I have taken notice of the rate at which young people grey. It is quite alarming. You see people in their twenties and thirties with grey, and you wonder like the 8-year-old, are they that old and ready to die?

To avoid giving the impression that they are ready to die, some have adopted the 'bololo' look by completely shaving off every strand of hair on their head, while others mask the grey hairs with black dye. For the few bold ones that are happy with the silver and shiny greys on their head, you should reflect on the question of the little girl, 'Do you want to die?'

Apart from genetics and vitamin deficiency, stress from the challenges of life is the biggest cause of greying. It's like when someone is overthinking his or her problem, the brain becomes so hot that the hairs get fried and manifest as grey.

The world is full of problems and may even be worse in Nigeria, because of a condition many call T-Pain Syndrome. Job 14:1 says, 'Man that is born of a woman is of few days, and full of trouble.' My appeal to you is not to overthink your challenges else you turn grey and an 8-year-old will ask you, 'Do you want to die?' Relax and make the best of life.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

THE SAD PAKISTANI

 

I was thinking this morning.... To commence my return from a recent trip abroad, I booked an Uber to the airport and was picked up by a driver who happened to be a Pakistani sojourning in a foreign land. As we set out, he struck a conversation by asking where I was from. I told him Nigeria. He followed up by asking if I was going home. I responded in the affirmative.

He paused for a few seconds and then said something profound. He said 'You are very lucky.' 'How so?' I asked. 'You see. Whenever I take someone, who is returning home, to the airport, it makes me sad reminding me of how much I miss my family back in Pakistan. My aged parents and wife are back home in Pakistan and I haven't been able to see them in about 2 years. My mum has a heart condition and can't travel, so my wife had to stay back to care for her and my dad. I can't travel as often as I wish because I have to work year round to send money home.'

As he spoke, I mused. One man's home is another man's farm or vacation spot. For some, Canada is home while Nigeria is farmland. A Nigerian with his or her immediate family abroad will board a flight from Lagos and say I am going home, while another visiting abroad will call Nigeria home. Home is where your loved ones are. A man without loved ones because he had chased them away with his bad character is a true definition of a homeless man.

The wife of your youth, loving children, warm family and loyal friends are the key components of a happy home. Cherish them today. My prayer for you is that of Proverbs 5:18 - 'May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.'

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey