LIFE NA RODEO

 

I was thinking this morning..... Days ago, a young lady who recently got a job with a multinational company came to me for mentoring. As she unveiled her aspirations and expectations, I dropped nuggets of advice to guide her in her career. A number of times, I was tempted to use some proverbs in buttressing my points. However, every time I started quoting a proverb, the Warri version jumped in front like a spoilt child.

She asked about what it takes to get to the pinacle of her career. I told her about patience. As I made the point about being patient and that good things would always result from diligence, the proverb about the patient dog came to mind. I started by saying, 'The patient dog...' But before I could add 'eats the fattest bone,' the Warriness jumped in and said 'the patient dog.... na hungry go kill am.' At this point, I wasn't sure if my advice to her was to be patient or aggressive.

As we continued the conversation, she asked what else it takes to be successful in the corporate world. I told her about focus, competence, and the determination to succeed. As she wrote down the key points, I concluded by saying, 'Na determination make okada overtake trailer for road.'

She smiled, paused as if to soak in the message, and then asked about the pitfalls to avoid. I told her not to miss an opportunity to learn because we are lifelong learners. Her facial expressions revealed she didn't get the point. I paused and then said, 'Na over confidence make February no complete.' The message immediately sank. Be confident in yourself, but beware of overconfidence.

As we rounded off that session, I asked if she had any other question, to which she responded in the negative. At that point, I told her to focus on building the right relationships both with her supervisors and peers but warned against putting all her trust on people. I had said, 'Forget trust. If trust dey, water nor for boil fish.'

As she left my office, I soliloquised on all I had said and concluded that life is like a rodeo. It is an exhibition in which, like a cowboy, you show your skills at riding the wild horse (broncos). Whether you will succeed will depend on your skills and God. Ephesians 6:13 says '...having done all, to stand.'

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

THE DANCE OF LOVE

 

I was thinking this morning..... Days ago, a friend told me that a mutual friend had separated from her husband after about 10 years of marriage. I was surprised because the couple were successful and looked good together. In my surprise, I did a mental review and was shocked by the number of separated or divorced couples I know. Wow! Why are people no longer fighting for their relationships? Why are we no longer committed to the dance of love?

As I mused, I remembered the romantic dance of Western Parotia. It is one of the most gifted dancers among birds. It holds itself to a very high standard for courtship to be perfect. It carefully cleans up fallen leaves one by one and polishes the branch the female bird will land using snake skin, making them shine brightly. To make the courtship area even more attractive, it carefully finds some brightly coloured nuts and decorates the surrounding with them. It then practices the courtship dance, from the extent of its wing spread to the movements of its feet, all to present the best version of itself to the object of its affection. When its effort eventually pays off by attracting a female bird of paradise, it transforms into a graceful gentleman among birds. Before the performance begins, it gracefully bows deeply to the female bird. Then, an exquisite performance officially starts.

Like Western Parotia, most of us danced this dance during courtship. We went the extra mile to prepare for a prospect to visit. Yet after marriage, we completely stopped dancing. We became stiff and cold. We all need some romantic advice from Western Parotia. 

Like Western Parotia, if we could go the extra mile to woo the object of our affection before marriage, why aren't we going the extra mile to make the marriage work? If we could be patient enough for our spouse to accept us before we tied the knot, why are we so impatient and intolerant after marriage?

Marriage is not a prison. It should be a sanctuary of love and mirth. Like Western Parotia, dance the dance of love for your spouse. It doesn't matter what type of dance. Just dance. It doesn't have to be perfect. Just make the effort. Songs of Solomon 6:13 says, "Dance, dance, girl of Shulam. Let us watch you as you dance."

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

THE FORCE OF BLOOD

 

I was thinking this morning..... After my secondary school, I went to spend the long holiday with an uncle and his family while waiting for my admission to the university. Being a very successful civil servant, they lived a much softer life compared to my home. I was a good nephew, waking up early to clean the house and wash the car. After months of living with them, I expected in my naive mind that I have earned what it takes to be equal to my cousins in the eyes of my uncle. I was so wrong.

One weekend, my uncle was decluttering and brought out this nice lace shokoto he hadn't worn since his younger years. Because my cousins already had so many clothes and I, almost nothing, I expected that my uncle would do me the honours. Alas, he gave the lace to his son who doesn't need it. I was really pained and couldn't understand why he would bypass me that really needs it. I was only 15 years old. Years later after I had children of my own, I did exactly what my uncle did. As I considered the reason why, I discovered we were driven by the force of blood.

In the Netflix movie, Yellowstone, Rip, that started living with the John Dutton family since he was a boy was suddenly moved out of the foreman's house to the bunkhouse because Kayce, John's son wanted to live there. When Beth, John's daughter, reminded him that Rip does not deserve to be treated that way because he looks at him like a father, he responded 'But I am not his father, honey. I'm Kayce's father.' The force of blood at work.

We know of so many religious leaders that started their ministries with fellow labourers in the vineyard. These brethren laboured with them from the begining until the ministry became great. Many years later, they side step their co-labourers and will hand over the reins of power to their children at the expense of those that have served them all their lives. Please do not judge them, it is the force of blood at work.

Why would a man find it easy to will his properties to a truant child rather than a relative or stranger that has served him all his life and call him dad? The force of blood. What is in man that makes us willing to give our all to our children? We always say blood is thicker than water, but not when the water is frozen. The connection of children to parents is stronger than we think. Proverbs 13:22.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

THE SWEET DISTRACTION

 

I was thinking this morning... Last week, I was invited as a special guest at the Interhouse Sports and Fun Day of Crestland International School, Port-Harcourt. It was, indeed, an all-round fun day.

Of all the activities, the lollipop race struck home for me. In this race, designed for children in pre-nursery, each child was given a lollipop a few minutes before the race began. At the blast of the whistle, the children were asked to run the 15-meter lap while licking and savouring the sweet. All four children started the race strong, licking the candy and running.

Less than 5m into the race, one of the children could no longer combine the enjoyment with running. He stopped running, and with his hand to his mouth, he held the lollipop stick and just enjoyed himself. The other three runners focused on the race. Before my little friend realised it, the other three runners had got to the finish line. He lost the race because of a sweet distraction.

I remember commencing my doctorate programme immediately after my Masters in 1994. Less than a year into the programme, I got a job and started earning real money for the first time in my life. I decided to put my schooling on hold, promising to return in a couple of years. Well, that 2-year hiatus was 30 years ago last year. To me, making money was a sweet distraction from achieving my dream of being called a doctor.

There are many young girls who started their education strong and on track to getting a degree. Then they met a smashing young man. One thing led to another, and they got pregnant and dropped out of school. Most will promise themselves that after having the baby, they would return to complete their studies. Ten years after, they are still the compound mama Iyabo. Their dream was scuttled by a sweet distraction.

In the race of life, focus is key. Everyone is faced with a sweet distraction ever so often, where you could either enjoy your lollipop or continue running. Sometimes, though, you could have the rare privilege of running and savouring your lollipop. Whatever your situation might be, focus on the prize. Hebrews 12:2 gave us a perfect example of how to avoid the sweet distraction

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

TRUST, PLEASE FORGIVE US

 

I was thinking this morning.... I have been working for safety for over 30 years and thought I knew my employer until a few years ago when a young man came up the altar in my local congregation to give a testimony. When asked to introduce himself, he said his name was 'Safety.' 'Really? Could this be my employer?' I thought, smiling.

About three months ago, I had cause to give a job to a young man called 'Believe.' I initially believed in his ability to deliver on the assigned task. Two months down the line, Believe couldn’t deliver. Today, I no longer believe in Believe.

Then a couple of weeks ago, at a work event, I met a young lady who said her name was 'Signs.' I was confused and initially thought I heard 'Science.' With further probe, she said she is actually a twin, and both of them were named 'Signs' and 'Wonders.' Wow! was my reaction.

Yesterday, I watched the 2025 Netflix Limited Series thriller, Zero Day. Somewhere in Episode 1, I listened to the sitting POTUS trying to convince an hesitant past POTUS to take up a public service job to lead a special team to investigate a cyberattack. She had said, 'The only thing more important than a quick result is the result that everyone can trust. They trust you.'

I pondered those words and recalled that I used to know someone called 'Trust' but haven't seen her in years. I suspect someone must have offended Trust, making her leave the state or probably the country. Everything has fallen apart in Nigeria since Trust disappeared. I have checked the ranks of our political leaders, Trust is not among them. So many religious leaders no longer have Trust as their companion. What about in business? You will never find Trust there. Amongst friends, Trust is missing.

Trust, please, where are you? Why are you not around like your other companions? I attended NSPPD and other large religious gatherings, and I saw 'Signs' and 'Wonders' there. At my workplace, I see 'Safety' every day. Even 'Believe' occassionally shows up. But where is Trust? Where in the world can I find Trust? Trust, wherever you are, forgive us and come back.

While Proverbs 20:6 asked, 'Who can find a trustworthy man,' I am pleading for someone to find Trust and bring her back to Nigeria. We all need Trust to make progress.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

Mama, My Shoe!

 

I was thinking this morning.... I was at my desk on Monday morning when my colleague walked in. Because I hadn't seen him in over a week, I walked over to his desk for a warm handshake. As I shook his hand, my attention was drawn to his solid steel-toe boots. 'Who are you kicking this morning?' I asked. In his visibly confused look, I could tell he was wondering what I meant. I decided to save him the trouble by telling him the story of my cousin, Big-T.

In 1991, during my NYSC year, I usually spent short breaks with my aunt at the Borokiri area of Port-Harcourt. My cousin, Big-T, who was a teenager at the time, had this pair of boots that he used as a secret weapon should he get into a fight. Using the steel toes boot to kick anyone was a sure knockout tactic. On a particular day, we were all seated in the living room when Big-T dashed in. He was heading for his room when my aunt stopped him. Holding his hand, my aunt asked what the problem was. With so much anger, Big-T snarled, 'Mama, my shoe. My shoe. Mama, my shoe.'

While we all laughed, we knew that someone had offended him, and he wanted to unleash his secret weapon, his steel-toe boots, to kick the hell out of that potentially unfortunate boy. But then, we held him back. 'Mama, my shoe' is an allegory of 'I will teach you a lesson.'

Most people have secret weapons they deploy to fight back offences, similar to the venom snakes deploy. You see a man in a lovey-dovey mode with his wife, and she asks him for money or some favour he is not willing to meet. Knowing that he can do it but don't want to, she immediately activates the 'Mama, my shoe' weapon. For some, it is malice, others will starve their spouse of food or sex.

What's your weapon of offence or defence in the face of an attack? When you cry 'Mama, my shoe,' what should your victim expect? Character assassination, physical assault or spiritual arrows? When next your spouse, colleague or some random stranger offends you and you run into your weapon store screaming 'Mama, my shoe,' please ensure it is the shoes of peace you are going for, because Ephesians 6:15 says 'And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace.'

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

WHO BROKE YOUR COCONUT?

I was thinking this morning..... I was invited to the commissioning of a multibillion naira facility during this past week. After the commissioning, the MD invited me to his office to tell me his story. He recounted how he rose from a humble beginning sleeping on the bare floor and mats in a remote village in Delta State to becoming a very successful businessman today. 'I have always made it my guiding principle not to see the hundreds of people that work for me from the lens of MD vs Worker, because I was in a worse state than them many years ago.'

He told me how information got to him about a tenant in one of his blocks of flats in Port-Harcourt. 'I was told how the children of this tenant were sent home from school because they were unable to pay the fees, and I was really touched. If they couldn't pay school fees, how can they pay the rent? I imagined. It reminded me of how I was sleeping on mats and bare floor for many years. I immediately called my lawyer and instructed him that all 12 tenants in the block of flats should no longer pay rent. That was 6 years ago.'

As I listened to him, I imagined how wonderful the world would be if everyone who had a humble beginning like him would give a helping hand to people in difficult situations. As I mused, I recalled the words of my young wife, 'When the gods break your coconut, stay humble.'

It's very easy to feel proud and walk like someone wearing a shoulder pad because you 'don hammer.' There are some very successful people from very poor backgrounds. Today, they treat their former classmates and other not so fortunate people like rag. They avoid them saying 'this one is not in my class.' Just a personal reminder from my wife, 'When the gods break your coconut, stay humble.'

It's been a Hindu tradition for ages to break coconut during auspicious occasions like buying new cars or even starting a new business. To them, breaking coconut is synonymous with prosperity. In that context, not everyone is lucky to break coconut. They've done all within their powers and even prayed for divine support, but the coconut refuse to break. You may or may not have exerted energy, yet your coconut broke, and you are enjoying the succulent white fruit. As you enjoy, remember that 'When the gods break your coconut, stay humble.' Remember Proverbs 18:11-12.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey