Seven States of Life

I was thinking this morning..... It was meant to be a simple journey from Port Harcourt to Omu-Aran in Kwara State, but it turned out to be the longest road trip I have ever embarked on. While Google Maps estimated the 550.9km trip to be about 10hrs 33mins, the journey took us 14hrs 30mins. A trip that was dotted with so many life lessons.

We set out at about 7.30 am in a convoy of two coaster buses and a security escort pick-up van. Friends that couldn't wait for us, set out in a solo 4-wheel pick-up van, and arrived a solid 4 hours before us. How fast one travels in life is dependent on the capacity of the vehicle. Some have taken time to develop themselves and upgraded to turbocharged engine while others are okay with their two cylinders engine. Their speed in life tells the story.

Life, though, is not all about speed. While the coaster buses in a convoy meant the trip was slower, the bond of friendship and fun of travelling in a group was more alluring. Sometimes in life, it may seem like you are moving too slow because you had chosen to go with friends and family, but the experience you have working and fellowshiping with people is one those riding alone will never enjoy.

As the adventure across seven States progressed from Rivers to Bayelsa, Delta, Edo, Ondo, Ekiti, and finally Kwara State, I observed that the quality of the highway determined the speed we maintained. In life, there are some travelling on the superhighway that was constructed by their parents and forebears, others had to construct their own highways. Yet, for some, there are no paved roads. They had to trudge along the dusty and rough earth roads of life. Tough life, you will say.

Somewhere around Owo, in Ondo State, our vehicle developed a fault, and we had to stop to fix the problem. Though we lost an hour, thirty minutes in the process, we soon got back on our way. In life, breakdowns from illness or accident can happen and set you back a few years. Don't despair. You will soon be on your way to your destination.

A journey we started before sunrise, crossing so many rivers, large and small, and going through roadblocks, continued after sunset into the night. We finally arrived at our hotel a few minutes before 10 pm. It was a long tortuous journey but we stayed the course and arrived safely. Despite the challenges of life, keep moving and stay focused on your destination (Hebrews 12:2).

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

JUST ONE GET-TAA-WAY

 

I was thinking this morning.... With a bonus holiday given to us last Thursday, I decided to go out for an evening fitness walk. As I did, I observed young men and women hanging out just by my estate reminding me of my late teenage years.

It was the year 1988, and I had returned home for my end of semester break. Feeling like university big boys, my brothers and our friends would meet up to hang out in the neighbourhood every evening. Occasionally, we would challenge ourselves to approach and chat up with any young lady who caught our fancy. There were these two beautiful Igbo girls living adjacent to our compound. Their brother, a Yankee returnee, had a Lamborghini Pontiac, making the girls believe all young men in the neighbourhood were beneath them.

The few times the girls would come out to take a walk, we would observe them from a distance desiring to be their friend. We were generally good boys learning to fish is calm waters. Amongst us, I had the least courage and with near-zero interest in girls. One day, after much hyping and encouragement, I agreed to the prodding of the boys to approach the sisters. As I got close to them, with fear paralysing me, I said, 'Hello! Can I talk to you?' The younger of the girls looked at me and with a very stern tone and rich Igbo accent, she barked 'get-taa-way.'

I froze where I stood and didn't know what to do. My friends laughed out loud, worsening my predicament. That instant, it was like my brain switched to reset mode, and I learnt lessons I would never have learnt in the university. I learnt that there is a time and season for everything. Just one 'get-taa-way' made me realise that it was time to study and get a degree and not be interested in girls.

Sometimes, to make progress, we must unlearn certain things and remove clutters and distractions from our lives. We all need a 'get-taa-way' (a rebuke) to keep us focused. Just one embarrassing get-taa-way can save you a lifetime of regrets. If, like me, you've been stirred up to make the wrong move, one get-taa-way is all you need. Do not despise rebuke or chastisement, it could be what you need to reset your brain (Hebrews 12:5).

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

CELEBRATE YOUR WINS

 

I was thinking this morning..... Following the pulsating Chelsea vs Manchester United 7 goal thriller last Thursday, I woke up Friday morning to see the trending headline 'Onana @70.' My initial thought was that the trolls are at it again. How can Onana be 70 years old? But then the short narrative beneath the headline says, 'no be birthday o, na the number of goals conceded this season.'

I felt sorry for the Cameroonian born goalkeeper of Manchester United, Andre Onana, who has continually been the butt of jokes from online trolls. Why do they always pick on Onana? Put differently, why do we always pick on the failures of others rather than their wins?

When in November of 2023, Onana helped Manchester United to achieve their 500th clean sheet, the most in Premier League history, Onana@500 did not trend. When he played his 40th match for the Red Devil  not too long ago, Onana@40 did not trend. Good news, they say, don't sell. Bad news does.

We should learn to celebrate our wins and not wait for others. If you are waiting for the world to celebrate you, they will not. If you have been driving for 10 years without a crash, celebrate Crash-free@10. If you're 40 and have never spent a night on the hospital bed, celebrate Grace@40.

I have also learnt to celebrate others. Same Friday that negative minds were trending Onana@70, our colleague and friend, Mazi Ikechukwu Okafor was celebrating his 60th birthday and bowing out of paid employment after 26 years of meritorious service. I would rather celebrate Mazi@60 than Onana@70.

Mazi Ikechukwu Okafor is an ardent supporter of Arsenal Football Club (a true gunner) and a football buff. Whether celebrating a victory or enduring a defeat, Mazi's love for Arsenal is unwavering. I would rather celebrate Mazi@60 than Onana@70.

Kind words do not cost much but can accomplish so much. Hence, rather than join trolls to trend Onana@70, please join me to celebrate Mazi@60. Mazi Ikechukwu Okafor, like Philippians 1:3 says 'I thank my God in all my remembrance of you. Congratulations and have a blessed retirement.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

WE OWN NOTHING

 

I was thinking this morning.... It was a long awaited wedding. We had prayed and waited for the Groom to tie the knot and it finally happened yesterday. Sitting as one of the officiating ministers, I eagerly awaited the moment the Groom will say I do and how his references to the Bride will automatically change to 'my wife' or 'mine.'

Wow! Life! But then, I imagined. According to the English dictionary, 'my or mine' is used to refer to a thing or things belonging to the speaker. I pondered again on the words of the martial vows '... to love and to cherish, till death us do part.' There it is. That there is a condition means the couple don't own each other forever, but have only secured companionship for as long as they live. Truly, in life, we own nothing.

It's easy to say 'I own 4 houses and 6 cars.' Really? Do you really own them in the true sense of the word? If you've ever obtained a Certificate of Occupancy (C of O) of any of your property, pick up the document and read it. You will notice the early paragraphs that read like (paraphrased) '..by virtue of the C of O act, ---- was granted a statutory right of occupancy over the parcel of land (hereinafter referred to as 'the property') for a term of 99 years commencing from ....' Notice that it was for 99 years and not forever. Why 99 years? You thought you paid fully for the land? Yes, you did but the truth is you had only leased the land and not own it. We own nothing.

If you buy a car, you have only paid for your transport for the period the car will last or as long as you are alive. Reach for your wallet and bring out any currency note. You think you own the money, right? Take a close look at the currency and notice the name of the owner. 'Central Bank of Nigeria' for naira and Federal Reserve Bank for US Dollar. We own nothing.

Ah!!! Of a truth, we own nothing. Whatever we think we own, is only for our benefit as long as we are alive. When it comes to material things, do well not to attach your life to it, neither should you be afraid of losing them. I have seen people have heart attack because they lost 'things.' If you really understand that we own anything (Luke 12:15), your anchor will be on God.

Christ died that we may have all things both in this life and in eternity.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Resurrection Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

DANCING ON THE WRONG STAGE

I was thinking this morning..... Last night, I attended the Granite jubilee (90th birthday) celebration of one of Nigeria's finest, a Super Permanent Secretary, Diplomat, Bureaucrat and former Minister of Petroleum, Chief Izoma Philip Asiodu. As I sat watching him converse with another of Nigeria's finest, Chief Emeka Anyaoku (91 years), another Diplomat and 3rd Secretary-General of Commonwealth of Nations, what I saw was an impactful generation on their way off the stage of life.

Packed in the Oduduwa Hall of Movenpick Hotel, Ikoyi, were numerous other notable octogenarians and nonagenarians and the achievers of yesteryears My young wife and I were blessed to be in the midst of these very successful seniors.

The tribute to Chief Asiodu was a long list of what he had achieved over the years. Strikingly, most of his major achievements were in the 1970s and 80s. As I reflected on what could possibly be the secret of his success, Chief Emeka Anyaoku stood up and saved me the hassle. He listed the attributes to be hard work, discipline, integrity, public spiritedness, and care for humanity and the environment. While many would've been tempted to ask how many of our leaders today had all these attributes, I was more focused on myself. How many of these attributes do I have? What will be said about me when I turn 90?

The generation of Philip Asiodu and Emeka Anyaoku had the stage in the 70s and 80s, and a few of them took concrete steps towards success. Today, the stage is ours. What are we doing with it? Rather than work, our youths are betting their future away and dancing azonto and shoki. Our political leaders, instead of showing integrity, are dancing skelewu and makossa. Many of our religious leaders, rather than show care for humanity, are dancing shaku shaku and alanta on the glorious stage.

Life is a stage. There is a time to dance and a time to take concrete steps towards success. Philip Asiodu and Emeka Anyaoku are dancing today because they worked when they had the stage. If all you do is dance etighi and zanku when you are supposed to work, the results will be clear at 90. Success is not random. You make it happen by taking steps of faith and diligence and not by dancing sekem or galala. May the Lord order our steps aright (Psalms 37:23).

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

R.I.P MR IKONSHENSI

 

I was thinking this morning... I was born to know Mr Ikonshensi. He was a very friendly, noble and great man. Though he wasn't married and had no family, he was part of every family in the community. No one knew exactly where he was from or how old he was but he was well respected in the community. He was always there to help everyone resolve any conflict, either between two persons or between a man and the community. Whenever the Community leaders sat to decide the affairs of the community, Mr Ikonshensi will be there to guide them in favour of the people.

As time went by, people started being rude to Mr Ikonshensi. I didn't understand why but it seems they were jealous of his influence. When they did something wrong and Mr Ikonshensi intervenes, he will be ignored. When the elders gathered and Mr Ikonshensi walks in, he will be excused and told to sit outside until he was called in.

After months of enduring the disrespect, Mr Ikonshensi decided to no longer intervene in the affairs of the community. He stayed indoors most of the time. Many were happy with his decision saying that 'his know-know was too much.' Others that appreciated his value, did nothing when he was being disrespected.

Not many years after, Mr Ikonshensi departed the Community without anyone noticing. The few that noticed made no serious effort to appease him and bring him back to the community. The majority cared less and moved on with their lives. Five years became ten and then twenty, Mr Ikonshensi did not return. There were rumours that he had died but some were certain he had started a new life in a far away community.

It wasn't long before things started falling apart in the community. Greed and selfishness had taken hold of everyone. The elders cornered all the community land for themselves. Families were crumbling and no one could help because Mr Ikonshensi had long gone.

The account of Mr Ikonshensi is an allegory of how we lost our conscience in Nigeria. When I read the news of a village school collapsing on innocent children in Zamfara, a state where politicians recently spent billions to buy SUVs for themselves, and how the National Assembly padded the 2024 budget to the tune of N3.7 trillion, in a country where millions are starving, my heart cried 'Oh God, where is our conscience?' Please come back, Mr Ikonshensi.

Is your conscience alive, dull or seared with hot iron? (1st Timothy 4:2).

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

WEALTHY WITH NOTHING

 

I was thinking this morning.... On my way to attending the burial ceremony of the father of a friend at Oviri-Olomu, a village in Delta State, I passed by several small settlements. I couldn't but notice how peaceful life was for the villagers. No noise or air pollution, nor stress, as their needs are basic. For a split second, I wondered whether city life was worth all the stress.

Good health and peace are the main determinants of wealth. Most people don't appreciate how wealthy they are. A man cannot be wealthy in sickness. It takes a healthy body, mind and soul to be wealthy. You are as rich as your health status. In the face of sickness, material possessions amount to nothing.

Wealth is only yours or of value to a man in great health. When a man gets sick, he loses a part of his wealth. Wealth and sickness are inversely proportional. The sicker one gets, the smaller your wealth.

Think about it. To a poor man with only N10,000, home and abroad, ordinary malaria can wipe out his wealth. To a civil servant with N3 million savings, the onset of Hepatitis B can take his wealth away because it cost over a million (about $1,000) a year to treat the illness. If a billionaire comes down with hemophilia B (a genetic bleeding disorder), his wealth may be eroded fast because Hemgenix (the most expensive medication in the world) cost about $3.5 million (N5.2 billion) for just one treatment.

It takes health to appreciate wealth. At the end of the sickness spectrum is death and when a man dies, the wealth is no longer his but someone else's. Herbert Wigwe was estimated to be worth $65.2 million (about N100 billion), while his wife, Chizoba, was estimated to be worth $1 million. With their unfortunate demise, no one will say Herbert is a wealthy man. The wealth is no longer his but now belongs to someone else.

No wonder Luke 12:15 says "one’s life does not consist in the abundance of the things he possesses.” Wealth is measured by a healthy body, mind and soul. If you are alive and healthy, be thankful, because you are a wealthy man, even if you have no money in your pocket. Adieu to the Wigwes.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

OUR GBOMO-GBOMO WORLD

I was thinking this morning.... Days ago, I had cause to travel by boat. As I dashed to the departure lounge, a lady stopped me by the entrance, requesting to talk to me. She said, "Please, can you help to check in one of my bags along with yours?' Without hesitation, I responded 'In present day Nigeria?' even as I walked away to board my boat.

It wasn't until we set sail that I had time to reflect on the encounter. I felt sad for the world we live in today. In the world I knew growing up, there was abundance of trust, but what do we have today? You can't assist anyone at the airport for fear of being framed for drugs.

Growing up as children in Warri, those days, we played under the moonlight. We played 'otori, ototo' which was local term for Hide and Seek. We would hide in our neighbours houses, backyards and even adjoining streets. There was no fear of being kidnapped. Even when we had 'gbomo-gbomo' (the local name for kidnappers), it was rare and almost like a myth parents used to instill fear in their children. We had security and communal life in abundance. Today, kidnappers and ritual killers have changed our world.

It's a scary world we live in today. For 24 years, three sons of Abia state reigned as governors. Umuahia and Aba were run down. Public infrastructures were non-existent. Less than a year after the current governor took over, the state has turned to a huge construction site. Someone asked why the other governors did not perform, I said they were political gbomo-gbomos.

Have you noticed how the banks charge you for everything? It's like they are not happy seeing money in your account. Chai! Economic gbomo-gbomos.

Many say the world today is a Gen-Z world where people care for no one but themselves, but to me, it is a gbomo-gbomo world. Too many people are looking for who to use or what to take from others rather than what to give. Acts 20:35 says 'It is more blessed to give than to receive.' May God deliver us from all forms of gbomo-gbomo.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

What Is The Taste Of Your Truth?

 

I was thinking this morning..... Days ago, I walked into a heated conversation between two of my colleagues. I wasn't initially sure what the bone of contention was but as I listened to understand, one of them said 'I know you will not like what I am saying, because the truth is bitter.'

After calming both of them down, I left asking myself 'is the truth really bitter?' On the moral and ethical scale of life, Truth is good and Lie (Falsehood), bad. Just like Sweet is good and Bitter, bad. So, why would anyone infer that Truth is bitter? If we say truth is bitter, does it mean lie is sweet? What is the taste of lie, if truth is bitter? Who is giving Truth a bad name? So many questions running through my mind.

These questions kept popping in my head till yesterday as I prepared my morning 'concoction tea.' I had put a bag of my Twinings Lemon & Ginger tea in the cup and added a small cup of freshly blended garlic, ginger and lemon juice. When I tasted the combination, it was harsher than usual. I decided to add a little honey. To my surprise, despite the honey, my concoction still had the pungent and acidic taste of garlic and lemon. Then it dawned on me, it is not truth that is bitter but the receiving ground that is acerbic.

Truth is sweet irrespective of the taste of the receiving ground. However, the taste in the mouth of the receiver will vary. So, when next you are confronted with the truth and you feel this unease welling up within you, remember this write-up. Truth is not bitter, it is your heart that is acerbic.

Though Truth is bitter is a correct English phrase, it is a common aphorism meant to deceive, cajole, confuse, or outright play politics with people’s perception. Truth may challenge beliefs, hurt feelings or force one to face a harsh reality, it should not be cloaked with the garb of bitterness. Truth is always sweet, it is the human heart that is acerbic.

Relationships, within marriages, family, colleagues and society at large should find sweetness in truth. Should any truth start tasting sour or bitter, no need to doubt the taste of the truth, check your heart. If your heart is sweet, you will taste the sweetness of truth. John 8:32 - And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free. What is the taste of your truth?

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

The Gift of Men

 

I was thinking this morning.... I started my first year in the University with three shirts and two trousers. It was a very rough start for a Warri boy leaving the comfort of family to live alone for the very first time. For the next 12 months, I tried every combination of meal plan just to survive. 0-1-0, 0-0-1, 1-0-1, Water-1-Pawpaw, 0-Pawpaw-Water, etc. Life was hard but my dream of becoming a graduate drove me on.

I started my second year unsure of where to stay or how I will survive because I hadn't received my scholarship at the time. One morning, I walked into class and was told that the new lecturer had requested to see me. I was troubled, wondering what I had done wrong. I summoned up courage and went into her office. Contrary to my fears, she was friendly and asked how I was doing. My Itsekiri name was what caught her attention and brought the favour my way.

She subsequently welcomed me into her family marking the begining of my soft, or should I say biscuit bone life on campus. I never had to look for accommodation, as I move into her BQ in Staff quarters nor had to think of what to eat, as I got a seat on the family dinner table. She and her husband gave me every possible assistance till I was done with my second degree. I literally became their third child.

While my experience was a classic vignette of campus life, not everyone received the kind of help I got. This help is what the motivational speaker, Wintley Phipps called the HPLP gene, with HPLP meaning Helping People Live their Potential, but I call it the Gift of Men (GoM).

Since I left school, God had blessed my journey with other GoM bringing me to where I am today. Most people at one time or another in life had received the Gift of Men (GoM) to see them through a phase of life. Some may have been life changing and others, subtle. The GoM is not what you solicit or beg for, they just show up and offer to help on a platter. Most successful people today enjoyed the Gift of Men. Someone that just took interest in them and offered to help at no cost.

As I reflected on how difficult it is to survive in Nigeria today, I realise that we all need the Gift of Men to go through this fire. Gift of Men are sent by God to make you, help you live your potential and fulfil destiny (Matthew 4:19). Are you a GoM? Please don't turn down the opportunity to change a life today.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

BRIDE UNDER REPAIR

 

I was thinking this morning...... Someone posted a photo of a caution sign on a bridge in Akure saying 'Bride Under Repair' instead of 'Bridge Under Repair,' and commented that if the Bride is under repair, then the Groom must be under construction. Savage response, right? While I initially scoffed in disbelief, a second thought made me sober.

Yesterday, I attended the inter-tribal wedding of the daughter of my Ibo neighbour and her yoruba groom. As the couple danced to the admiration of all, I considered how they will manage their political leanings in the face of the seriously fractured political environment in Nigeria. With our very diverse culture and upbringing, inter-tribal marriages demand additional work. It is on that basis that I posited that the most appropriate sign to put up here is 'Bride and Groom under construction.'

Many get into marriage believing they are finished products and have nothing more to learn. Only last week, news made the rounds of a lady in Onitsha that violently abused and brutalised her 11-year-old maid. When I saw the disturbing photos of the brutalised girl, I actually wondered if the madam was human. She will thereafter wake up, dress up and make up, acting like a wife and even a mother. Mtchew! There is only one thing for the husband to do, shut her down and put out the sign 'Wife Under Repair.'

Like buildings and other infrastructures, humans need regular maintenance and repair. Reseash revealed that the life expectancy of a modern building is 60 to 75 years but with can last much longer with repair and maintenance. Albi Cathedral in South Central France was built about 900 years ago but still standing because of regular repair and maintenance.

Truth is, even the best of us need regular repair and maintenance of our physical, mental and emotional being. Any man or woman that refuses to devote time and resources for repair or maintenance will eventually kaput. If you know your heart beats uncontrollably when Nigeria plays, please stay off and put out a sign 'Man under Repair.' There are ways to renew your body and mind (Romans 12:1-2). Take responsibility today.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

LESSONS FROM 1995

 

I was thinking this morning.... a few days ago, my former boss, whom we called Oga Adoki (third from left), sent me this group photo we took sometime in 1995/96 at our SPDC office, Edjeba Housing Complex, Warri. Just looking at the faces of everyone brought both smiles and tears to my face. Sad because two persons in the photo had transitioned to glory and smiles from fond memories of my previous life working in Warri.

The longer I looked at the photo, the more I observed interesting features. The first thought that jumped at me was how cheap fabric must have been in those days. Did you observe the size of my trousers? My goodness! Where did all the fabric come from? Even the ladies, the way they were dressed will make a young girl of today wonder if they had skin disease that they were covering. Long and short, we no dey manage material those days.

I looked again and observe that all the men in the photo had flat stomach. Where there no pots in those days that men could have swallowed? What are we eating that is making us have pot belly today? We were all looking fit for the role. Natural and healthy meals and being active made the difference.

I peered at the ladies again and observed something that may indicate how stingy they must have been. What were they doing with all their money that they couldn't afford bone straight hair? What kind of 'alaroro' are they doing by perming their hair? Ordinary N1m they couldn’t spend to buy bone straight and Brazilian hair. Na wa o.

But wait o, what is it with the flowered neck ties, shirt and dress we had on? Is it because the vegetation then were green, colourful and luscious? A youngster today will think we were flower boys and girls.

Irrespective of what you think of the photo and our looks, it was the appropriate 'costume' at the time. Life is a stage and we are actors. The script of life is in Scenes and that was Scene 1 of my Working Script. Be deliberate about whose script you are acting and whether you are giving it your best. Your success and victory in life is dependent on how you played your role on the stage with the script you have in your hands. Let God's word be your script (Matthew 6:34).

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

THE DOCTOR EVERYONE WANTED ME TO BE

 

I was thinking this morning.... I woke up this morning, a day after my birthday, thinking about how far I have come in my journey of life. In my reflection, I saw myself in the dark blue uniform of Mowoe Primary school Warri, clutching my school bag as I walked from our compound at 6 Ogboru Street. I meandered through 15B Father Healy Street, into Ometan Street, Ginuwa Road and finally into Robert Road where I branched into the gate of my beloved Mowoe Primary school. I recalled how my dad and uncles called me small doctor. I never understood why but that birthed my dream of becoming a doctor.

I then saw myself in the white shirt on sky blue shorts of Hussey college Warri. I was a day student and walked north from 6 Ogboru Street towards Obahor and into Upper Erejuwa where the sprawling compound of Hussey college is located. From Class 3 to Class 5, I was in the Sciences studying my way to becoming the doctor everyone wanted me to be. When my JAMB results were released, it fell short of the cutt-off mark to study medicine, marking the first setback in my journey to becoming the doctor everyone wanted me to be.

I was later admitted to the University of Benin to study Microbiology but was determined to switch to Medicine the following year. With good grades, the switch happened but was short-lived, as the interdepartmental transfer was cancelled after just 4 weeks, ending my dream of becoming the medical doctor everyone wanted me to be.

As I graduated with a B.Sc, I did not despair about my inability to become a medical doctor. I however took a slight detour and started studying to become an academic doctor. Afterall, doctor na doctor. Within a short period, I completed my M.Sc and started my PhD but 6 months later, I suspended the program to focus on building a career. It's been 28 years and my dream of becoming the doctor everyone wanted me to be, is still on hold.

In all my years on earth, many dreams have come to pass and many others fell through, but in all, I am on course with destiny. Along the way, I have learnt that not all dreams come to pass but that every sincere prayer and genuine effort you put into fulfilling that dream eventually leads you to destiny. Stay focused on life and not on dreams because it is the steps you take in life that fulfil dreams. I may not be the doctor everyone wanted me to be, but I am thankful that I am who God wants me to be (Romans 8:29).

Thanks to everyone that celebrated me yesterday.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

WHO IS SHAKING THE JAR?

 

I was thinking this morning..... I recently read that if you put 100 black ants and 100 red (fire) ants in a jar, nothing will happen. But if you shake the jar hard, the ants start killing each other. The red ants consider the black ants their enemies, and the black ants consider the red ants their enemies. The true enemy is the one shaking the jar.

The same is true of our society. I started my career as a contract staff with one of the multinationals in Warri. Like most contract staff every where in Nigeria, we worked so hard but paid little, unlike the direct employees who we saw as living in a land flowing with milk and honey. We also believed the direct staff are selfish and borderline wicked and will never do right by us. We gossip about them and always looked at them with 'gbejoro eye,' like we say in Warri.

It's been about 30 years since I came to know about the staff versus contract staff divide and the battle is still raging. With me now on the other side, most contract staff still believe the direct staff does not wish them well and are their enemies, while many direct staff believe most contract staff are not pulling their weight. The question is not about who is right or wrong but rather, who is shaking the jar.

One of the fiercest battle is that between Mother-in-law (MIL) and Daughter-in-law (DIL). When your sweet family gets agitated and the DIL turns against the MIL, stay calm and find out who is shaking the jar. Are you currently in the middle of a battle between gender (men vs women), rich vs poor, North vs South, Christians vs Muslims or Yoruba vs Ibo? Before you judge, take sides or fight each other, we should pause and ask who is shaking the jar?

There is always a third force that benefits from the infighting. If God places you in 'a jar' with someone of a different gender, colour, language or belief, please don't find reason to make an enemy of him or her, instead collaborate. If the system gets agitated, don't turn against yourself, instead find out who is shaking the jar. Maintain a healthy relationship with your friends and colleagues. No gree for anyone shaking your friendship jar to make enemies of you. Romans 12:18 says 'Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.'

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

THE MELTING MAN

 

I was thinking this morning..... In 2009, Brazilian artist Nele Azevedo carved 1,000 ‘Melting Men’ out of ice and placed them on a stairway in a Square of Berlin in order to bring awareness to Global Warming. She created the installation to visually remind people of the melting ice caps in Greenland and Antartica. With temperatures of 23 degress celsius, the ice figures began melting within half an hour after setup. With every passing moment an ice-man melts into water. Though the main message was on Global Warming, the display taught me another lesson that 'Life is like ice, make the best of it before it melts.'

It is estimated that about 117 billion humans have been born and lived on earth since creation, with only about 8 billion alive today. 109 billion people, like ice blocks, have melted into oblivion. Every human, like ice, starts melting the day one is born. How fast one melts will depend on the temperature one is exposed to. The higher the temperature, the faster one melts. Some are born into homes as hot as a village kitchen and melts away in a short time. Others make their homes hot by their bad behaviour. Life is like ice block, it melts with each passing moment.

In this year 2024, be intentional not to give yourself heat or put yourself under any condition that will heat you up or increase the temperature around you because every one degree rise in temperature makes you melt faster. Some are saying 'no gree for anyone this year.' That is a recipe for friction and friction produces heat which will make your ice to melt faster. Like we say in Warri, 'I no go gree, I no go gree, na im dey tear shirt o.' Life is like ice block, it melts with each passing moment.

With a worsening economic situation around the world, many bread winners are doubling up the time they spend at work, business and hustling leaving little or no time to unwind. This year 2024, take time out to unwind, relax, refresh and enjoy because life is like ice block, it melts with each passing moment. Psalms 103:15 says "Our days on earth are like grass; like wildflowers, we bloom and die."

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

Flight 2024

 

I was thinking this morning... I once had to fly Emirates Airline from Lagos to New York. I dreaded the trip because in my mind then it was a very long trip: 7 hrs to Dubai and then 15 unbroken hours to New York. After boarding, with a lot of entertainment and so much to eat, the trip became an easy ride.

I remember starting 2023 on a sad note following a major incident at work. That was quickly followed by waves of personal fears and challenges. As the year kept grinding like a locomotive train, one day at a time, I overcame. Today, the first Sunday of 2024, I woke up thinking, 'wow! it is one full year already.'

As I sat back appreciating God for my second child that just turned 20, I imagined the little me years ago at Hussey college Warri, dreaming and thinking of remaining a teenager forever. Today, my second child is no longer a teen. It all seemed like yesterday. Hmm!!! How did I get here so fast? I reflected on the three life journeys above as I fixed my gaze on my photo of almost 20 years ago. I couldn't but wonder how it all seemed like yesterday. Of a truth, it is wisdom to make the most of your time on planet earth, because it's only a short trip.

Have you ever looked forward to something or prayed for a bad spell to come to an end and it seems it will never happen? The waiting time seems like forever. When it eventually happens and you look back a while later, it will be like yesterday and the waiting time like a moment. That's the feeling. It is called life and it teaches us to make the most of our time on planet earth because it's only a short trip.

My Emirates flight taught me a great lesson to be deliberate about how I spend my time on a flight because it is like life. Think about what you do when you fly. Some read books, others just sleep or watch movies. Make the most of your time on the plane, sorry planet… it’s only a short trip.

We are still on the journey of life and have commenced flight 2024. In 359 days, you will look back and wonder how the year had gone by so fast. Create value and impact lives this year remembering 2nd Peter 3:8 "But, beloved, do not forget this one thing, that with the Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day." Welcome on-board Flight 2024.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey