I NO GO GREE, I NO GO GREE

I was thinking this morning.... It was a cool Saturday morning a few weeks ago. I had been approached by a leader in the organisation I belonged to discuss how to handle the issue of the return of a member to the group after resigning a couple of years ago. What started as a quiet conversation soon got intensed due to our diametrically opposed viewpoints. The room's tranquil atmosphere was disrupted by the heated discussion between myself and this leader. Our voices, usually filled with warmth and compassion, were now laced with conviction and concern.

"We can’t simply welcome him back with open arms," he emphasized, his brow furrowed. I immediately countered, "But we preach forgiveness. If he has genuinely repented, we must extend grace and restore his privileges." The leader's expression remained stern. "Privileges are earned, not handed out like candy," he said. At this point, my voice rose. "E kill person? What exactly is the problem?" I pushed back in frustration.

As the debate raged on, I realised it had shifted from a conversation to an argument. Neither of us was ready to shift our grounds. It seemed we were in a competition to win the argument even as we exchanged determined glances.

At this point, I recalled the words I read in the book 'How To Become A People Magnet.' It says that when you argue to win, you lose your opponent's sympathy. No one really wins an argument. Someone also said recently that communicating is one thing, but your tone while communicating is everything. With that realisation, I pulled back and ended the conversation.

Life should be simple. I no go gree, I no go gree, na im dey tear shirt. My young wife's favourite proverb also comes to mind. She will always say, 'Na person wey argue with King, na im dey kneel down for long.' Time has taught me to avoid engaging in trivial or unnecessary conflicts. Your strength surpasses such trivial battles. True victory isn't just about winning fights and arguments. Winning a fight does not define your worth; you are genuinely valuable. Know this and know peace. Remember Romans 12:18.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

20 Years and 20/20 Vision

 

I was thinking this morning...... Last Friday, 22nd November, was the Long Service Award (LSA) ceremony in my organisation. Staff that had put in 10, 15, 20, 25, and 30 years of service were honoured. I am still in awe that it's been 20 years since I walked into that office to commence a new career. Wow! 20 years no be beans o.

As I walked into the majestic and grand EUI Event Centre in GRA Port-Harcourt, the large hall room unfolded like an outstretched arm. Soft light danced, a gentle ethereal glow, illuminated round tables with empty seats, in silence they bestowed.

Along with other awardees and our guests, we gradually filled the hall, gorgeously dressed to receive my award for 20 years of meritorious service. As the roll call progressed, I remembered July 2004 when I resumed work in this world-class organisation. After years of kabashing, my prayers were finally answered.

Twenty years had since flown by like the NASA X-43 jet. I started my new career with lots of dreams and aspirations. Many had been answered and some yet to be answered. As I reflected on the past 20 years, I felt like I had underachieved. But then, as I mused, I discovered that the blessing is not in the position one occupies today but rather it is in being alive to be celebrated after 20 years.

In the last few weeks, we have been stunned by the death of three colleagues, with the latest sad news breaking on the morning of Friday, the day of the Long Service Award. While many of us were preparing for our 20 years LSA, this lady that had been with us for about 20 years was no more.

I have long known that hindsight is 20/20 vision. 20/20 indicates normal vision at 20 feet, although it is commonly used to mean 'perfect vision.' When someone is able to see only after an event how things turned out, that person is often said to have had "20/20 hindsight. For many of my colleagues, celebrating 20 years was a time to eat, drink, and feast, but for me, 20 years was a time to reflect on the last 20 years. Truly, hindsight is 20/20 vision.

For the last 20 years, I have been thankful for being alive, for my career, and for friends and colleagues. Romans 9:16 - So then it is not of him that willeth, nor of him that runneth, but of God that sheweth mercy.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

THE FEAR-FEAR WARRI BOY

 

I was thinking this morning.... Growing up in Warri was tough and rough but it never really made me a man of steel. Yes, I grew up in the rugged neighbourhood of Ogboru and Father Healy streets, occassionally mingling with 'jagudas' and 'boma boys,' yet I couldn't pick up the jaguda gene. I participated in all the rough plays and even danced ulaga, but I remained a fear-fear, because in the face of trouble, or like we say, when yawa gas, I was one of the first to flee.

Years went by, and I had to leave Warri for University in Benin City. On arrival in Uniben, I identified with other Warri boys, but that was only with regards to hailings. When it came to playing tough and rough, the fear-fear boy would not be there. My liver dey cut me. My roommates in Hall 2 hostel knew me as a Warri boy, but they also knew that I was only Warri by mouth and had no liver. They knew that the jaguda Spirit Warri boys were known for had no accommodation in me.

With that knowledge, they looked down on me, taunted me, and downright disrespected me. When that happened, I would talk tough and sometimes threaten them, like a typical Warri boy would've done. But then, my words amounted to nothing because, like we say in Warri, 'threaten na water, action dey blood.'

This continued for a whole year. I kept threatening them but never backed my words with action. Until one fateful day, the bulies took their insolence to a new high. They broke into my locker and plundered my Cabin biscuit and butter. When I asked why they did that, they laughed at me and said I should do my worst. All they saw before them was the fear-fear Warri boy.

As they laughed at me, I fumed, but still my muscles remained weak. Suddenly, it seemed the spirit of jaguda and boma combined, had rushed into me. I moved towards one of them and, like someone possessed by strange spirits, gave him a blinding, brain re-setting slap. Everyone one of them was in shock. They couldn't believe that the fear-fear Warri boy truly had jaguda in him. I walked away that day fully satisfied that my 'Warri-ness' was not a fluke.

My bullies, on the other hand, learnt a hard lesson. In the face of danger, oppression, or adversity, people become what they never knew they were. Don't push people to the wall with your evil. You might get an unexpected wotowoto. On the flip side, if you don't challenge yourself, you will never realise what you can achieve. Romans 5: 3-5.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

I TOO KNOW (ITK)

 

I was thinking this morning..... I was in the office on Thursday morning when the new SIWES student who recently joined us was brought to my desk for introduction. As she sat down, I asked her her course of study, and she said microbiology. When I asked the courses she had taken thus far, it was like I opened a high-pressure pipe. She started by reeling out the courses and then just went on and on until I stopped her. In my mind, I thought, 'Hmm! This one na ITK.'

In my time and area of Warri where I grew up, when someone talks more than expected, that person is called know-know or I Too Know (ITK). But then, it is too early to judge this young girl and conclude she is ITK, I reprimanded myself.

Reflecting on what happened moments later, I recalled how I had observed adults and children act in my wife's podcast and concluded that what they were doing was so easy. I decided to act in one of the skits and made mouth that it should be a piece of cake. I only heard 'Camera on, Action!' and I forgot my lines. It was then I knew I was ITK. No wonder a Warri proverb says, 'I know too much, I know too much na em make SAN no fit recite National Anthem.'

A lot of times, ITKs talk themselves into trouble. I have found myself in such a situation before and quickly realised thereafter that there is a fine line between confidence and arrogance. I also discovered that ITK behaviour is actually fueled by ego.

It is wrong to look down on what someone does or underestimate the value one brings to the table. The task might seem mundane and ordinary to you, until you try it then you will truly understand the Warri proverb that says 'I know too much, I know too much na em make SAN no fit recite National Anthem.'

Respect everyone and what they do. 1st Cor 8:2 says, 'And if any man think that he knoweth any thing, he knoweth nothing yet as he ought to know.'

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

LESSONS FROM A GOOD MAN

I was thinking this morning.... Last Thursday, I met with my boss and friend who was retiring November 1, after a very successful and meritorious career. As we gisted that evening, we reflected on his journey and the paths that led him to this point. With every story, he dropped a lesson for me.

The first point that struck home for me was when he said, 'The office you occupy does not make you, you make the office.' Hmm! Most people fight and wait to get into an office, believing it will make them better persons. No. Irrespective of the office you occupy, you are who you are. A cleaner who is a good person will be good whether he becomes a manager or CEO. The wicked and bad leaders we have today did not become bad because of the office. They were wicked and bad before they got there.

I was still digesting the office and the person nugget when he dropped another that really hit me personally. He said, 'While at work, don’t take things too serious because things change. Don't overthink or get too hurt by what a colleague said or did, because time changes everything.' Ouch! That was for me. In the recent past, I felt really hurt by the actions of some colleagues that I almost changed from being who I am.

People do things on the basis of what they know per time. Their actions may not be personal and may have been driven by the circumstances at the time. Wait it out. Everything changes with time. Don't stop being good because of the missteps of someone. Just like you expect others to understand when you misstep, you also should understand when they do something that you feel was wrong.

Thanks, Andy for the departure nuggets but many more thanks for being more of a friend than a boss over the last 20 years. Like they say, life is in phases, and men are in sizes. As you move from one phase of your life to another, may your retirement be merry and blessed with good health. May you continue to be a blessing to everyone who comes around you.

Psalm 37:23 says, 'The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord.' Because you are a good man, the Lord will order your steps as you retire. Take a bow.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

Daddy, Do You Want To Die?

I was thinking this morning..... I visited Abuja this past week for a few days and decided to hang out with my Hussey College Class of 86 friends. We visited a Warri inspired restaurant called Enerhen Junction Kitchen at Gwarinpa to savour some Owo and starch and other orishirishi. After a scrumptious meal, we set out to earn our pay for the rest of the day.

As we drove back to the office, our main host accused us of not acknowledging his new haircut and how he had eliminated all the grey hairs he had. When we asked why he dyed his grey hairs, he told us a short story. 'Recently, my 8-year-old daughter had come to me and said 'Daddy, why do you have so many white hairs? Daddy, do you want to die? That statement from my little daughter completely changed my view about grey hairs.' He concluded.

The innocent 8-year-old believes the more grey hairs you have, the closer you are to the grave, and she was alarmed that her dad might be going. In recent years, I have taken notice of the rate at which young people grey. It is quite alarming. You see people in their twenties and thirties with grey, and you wonder like the 8-year-old, are they that old and ready to die?

To avoid giving the impression that they are ready to die, some have adopted the 'bololo' look by completely shaving off every strand of hair on their head, while others mask the grey hairs with black dye. For the few bold ones that are happy with the silver and shiny greys on their head, you should reflect on the question of the little girl, 'Do you want to die?'

Apart from genetics and vitamin deficiency, stress from the challenges of life is the biggest cause of greying. It's like when someone is overthinking his or her problem, the brain becomes so hot that the hairs get fried and manifest as grey.

The world is full of problems and may even be worse in Nigeria, because of a condition many call T-Pain Syndrome. Job 14:1 says, 'Man that is born of a woman is of few days, and full of trouble.' My appeal to you is not to overthink your challenges else you turn grey and an 8-year-old will ask you, 'Do you want to die?' Relax and make the best of life.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

THE SAD PAKISTANI

 

I was thinking this morning.... To commence my return from a recent trip abroad, I booked an Uber to the airport and was picked up by a driver who happened to be a Pakistani sojourning in a foreign land. As we set out, he struck a conversation by asking where I was from. I told him Nigeria. He followed up by asking if I was going home. I responded in the affirmative.

He paused for a few seconds and then said something profound. He said 'You are very lucky.' 'How so?' I asked. 'You see. Whenever I take someone, who is returning home, to the airport, it makes me sad reminding me of how much I miss my family back in Pakistan. My aged parents and wife are back home in Pakistan and I haven't been able to see them in about 2 years. My mum has a heart condition and can't travel, so my wife had to stay back to care for her and my dad. I can't travel as often as I wish because I have to work year round to send money home.'

As he spoke, I mused. One man's home is another man's farm or vacation spot. For some, Canada is home while Nigeria is farmland. A Nigerian with his or her immediate family abroad will board a flight from Lagos and say I am going home, while another visiting abroad will call Nigeria home. Home is where your loved ones are. A man without loved ones because he had chased them away with his bad character is a true definition of a homeless man.

The wife of your youth, loving children, warm family and loyal friends are the key components of a happy home. Cherish them today. My prayer for you is that of Proverbs 5:18 - 'May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.'

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

THE SOULLESS NIGERIAN

 

I was thinking this morning..... In the past couple of weeks, I had conversations with two of my friends on how it has become unreasonably expensive to drive a car in Nigeria. One that works in Port-Harcourt with his family in Warri, lamented that driving his car to Warri and back now cost him about N100k each weekend. The other revealed that in the last one month, just driving from Sangotedo where he lives to his office at Lagos mainland daily and then to Church in Epe on Sundays, he had spent a total of N400k on petrol. I was still doing my own calculation, when I heard that NNPC had again increased pump price of PMS to N1,030, with independent marketers in different parts of the nation selling for between N1,100 and N1,500.

As I pondered on the likely ripple effect of this recent increase, I stumbled on a passionate and emotional discussion by four ladies on News Central TV. One of the ladies was so emotional about the impact on ordinary Nigerians to the point of tears that she walked off stage.

One lady said that things are so tough that some families, once referred to as middle class, can no longer afford to send their children to school at the same time. The children now take turns to go to school. One will attend this term or this year and the other next term or next year. Chai!

Another of the discussant said she met a family where the mother of the children, who happens to be the bread winner, is now forced to eat every other day so that her children can eat one meal a day. If she eats today, she won't eat the next day.

Yet another added that she was told of a once well to do family that, with the current prices of food, the father and mother now shares one egg while their three children share another one egg, because they can no longer afford to buy more than a crate of egg each month.

If the hitherto middle class are groaning, it is difficult to imagine what the poor are going through. More heart-wrenching is that in the midst of this pervasive poverty and economic strangulation, you still see our political leaders wasting and obscenely displaying our stolen wealth. I was tempted to say they are heartless. Not a fitting description. Wicked? No. How best do we describe them? Oh yeah! They are soulless. Too many leaders and followers are soulless. Only a man without a soul would be blind to the suffering in the land. Mark 8:36.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

BETTER TO BE LOT

 

I was thinking this morning.... The year was 2007, and I was in the office singing 'Compassionate Jesus' as I broused my stock portfolio with glee. I had invested millions in the Nigeria stock market and was happy with the growth. Then came 2008, the stock market crashed like no one had anticipated. All our cash literally got burnt. There was blood in the streets as people bled across the country.

Most people immediately switched to real estate as a means to grow their wealth. It has always been the most secured investment to make, experts touted. We jumped in as well. Five years later, in 2013, I got a different perspective of real estate and life. A civil war had broken out in Syria, and within 24 months, the most developed cities were nothing but wastelands. As I watched, I asked within myself what happens to people's lifelong investment in those real estates?

In February 2019, I visited the well-known city of Ephesus in the bible, now in present-day Turkey. As I walked the streets of Ephesus, I saw what used to be the iconic library of Celsus, a huge theater and the temple of Artemis (one of the seven wonders of the ancient world), all lying in ruins, undone by time. I paused and asked, 'What happened to the investment in those real estates?'

Years passed, and it was February 2023, a full year after Russia invaded Ukraine. The once admired cities in Ukraine are now in ruins. Factories, cathedrals, mansions, and apartment blocks, all destroyed by lethal munitions. With tears welling up in my eyes, I wondered, 'What happened to the investments of men?'

Tomorrow, October 7, marks a year since the Gaza war, which has now extended to Lebanon, has been raging. Investments that took years to raise are crashing in minutes. Oh my God, what happens to those investments?'

It's great to have material possessions, stocks and real estates, but let not your life be tied to them because it only takes two political or religious leaders saying 'I no go gree-I no go gree' to bring it all down. Whatever material possessions you have should be such that you can walk away from should there be 'kperegede.' Better to be Lot than Lot's wife. Genesis 19:26.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

THE PATHS OF LIFE

 

I was thinking this morning... It was in May of 1991, a few months before we graduated as microbiologists from the University of Benin. It was about 10 a.m., and the next lecture was not until an hour later. While some strayed out to grab a bite, most of us stayed back in the MCB lab to gist and prepare for the next class.

In our small group, gisting were Quice, Akeem, Osaretin, Rosemary, Robert, Steve, myself, and a few others. We couldn't help but feel a mix of excitement and relief. "Only a few more months, and we all will be graduates!" Someone exclaimed. The rest of us nodded vigorously as we discussed the field of microbiology each person will major on.

While someone said food and beverage, setting his thoughts on Cadbury and Nestle, another was more interested in medical microbiology. "For me, it's environmental microbiology. I have to work with one of the oil companies in my community," I chipped in confidently. Our chatter and occasional laughter filled the MCB lab, as we counted down the days until graduation. A few months later, we graduated with fanfare. Standing at this junction of life, we strolled into real life, everyone in a different direction.

Thirty-three (33) years later, last week, four of us in that group met at the Pickle Barrel Restaurant in Toronto. The first time we would be together since that conversation we had as budding Microbiologists at Uniben. We hugged and gisted, looking back on how far we've come in the journey of life.

Though we started with the same background as Microbiologists, we are today worlds apart career wise. One of us is an executive in pension management. Another retired from the US Army. Yet another majored in Health and Safety in Oil and Gas in Nigeria. Only one of the four is working as a microbiologist. Wow! We had similar plans, but life differentiated us.

Studying for a first degree most often brings people to a common platform or junction. That is where it ends. What happens thereafter is at the instance of life. The direction each person goes is not always in our hands. Life happens to everyone and drags us to places and fields we seldom expect. There are as many paths in life as the over 6 billion people on earth. Each person's path is different. Have faith in God, stay the course, and be grateful for wherever you find yourself. 1st Thessalonians 5:18.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

ERIK THE BAMBIALLAH

 

I was thinking this morning.... I spent my childhood and teenage years in Warri in the seventies and eighties. It was full of unforgettable experiences. One of such memories was of blind beggars led by children moving around begging for money. Everyone called them bambiallah. A word I still don't understand the origin or meaning.

The bambiallahs left us with the belief that the blind are unable to provide for themselves nor achieve anything meaningful in life. Residues of this belief still resided in my deepest recess until last Monday when I listened to Erik Weihenmayer, a blind American adventurer and author. He gave the keynote speech, titled "No Barriers," at the National Safety Council (NSC) Congress and Expo in Orlando, Florida.

I have listened to great speeches by great men but have never been challenged by a blind man like I was that day. Erik wasn't seeing the audience or screen but did not miss a line, mix up the story deck, or left out the key messages. It was a riveting speech that blew my mind.

As a blind adventurer, Erik told us how, years after he became fully blind, he climbed Mt. Everest and the seven summits and kayaked the Grand Canyon. He recalled how he and his team once climbed a vertical ice mountain in the Himalayas. When they got to the peak and the snow blew, it got very dark with no light. Within hours, his team started complaining to him that they couldn't see. How ironic. If they are complaining within a few hours of not seeing, what should Erik, that hasn't seen for most of my life, do?

There are many Eriks that ended up being a bambiallah instead of a world conqueror. No doubt, barriers and obstacles are real and can stop us in our tracks. If obstacles stop you, you end up being a bambiallah, but if, like Erik, you figure out a way to harness those obstacles and propel yourself to new places, then you achieve greatness.

Let nothing stop you today. Dig deep and push yourself ahead. Don't be a bambiallah. Philippians 4:13.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

CHALLENGE IS ONLY A BUS STOP

I was thinking this morning..... sometime ago, I received disappointing news that really weighed me down. It hung like a heavy log on my mind for days. I struggled to shake off the darkness that seemed to have settled over me. I might be smiling one minute and immediately become gloomy at the thought of the situation.

I was praying and asking why me one morning, when I remembered the common slang in Nigeria, 'last last everybody go chop breakfast.' I recalled those words not in the way it is usually used but more like telling me that everyone in life goes through one disappointment or another at some point in their life. It is not new that you are disappointed or you failed. Someone else just went through the same or worse ordeal, and you didn't even know about it.

The smiling rich friend you see today might have gone through a heavy disappointment yesterday. Someone burdened by a painful disappointment of childlessness, failed relationship, business failure, or job loss today will most certainly be smiling tomorrow when someone else's heart is heavy from a disappointing event. Life is a leveller. 

As long as you are in this world, life will happen to you. Some mild, some heavy, but the good news is that God has engraced us to go through all. Raise your head, square your shoulders, and walk with hope because disappointment is not a badge of honour you display for everyone to see.

Your outlook in life determines how you handle disappointment. Life is like a garden. Sometimes, it blooms beautifully, and sometimes it withers. But with every season, there is always hope for renewal and growth. Therefore, don't get overwhelmed by disappointment or fazed by challenges. Like someone said, 'Don’t be scared when you face CHALLENGE, it's only a bus stop in Ibadan.' Nothing can be truer. Ibadan people, oye!

1st Peter 4:12 says, "Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you." Remember, challenge is only a bus stop, not just in Ibadan but in life.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

DON'T BE AN ADESUA

I was thinking this morning..... It was a regular Sunday. The service had just ended, and we were having FAF (fellowship after fellowship) just outside the auditorium when a middle-aged woman walked over, asking to see me. Her eyes were filled with a mix of hope and desperation. 'God bless you, Pastor,' She said, with her voice trembling slightly. 'My name is Maria. I was wondering if I could speak with you for a moment.' 'God bless you too,' I responded as I took her aside. 'How may I be of help?' I asked.

Maria took a deep breath before launching into her story. "It's about my daughter, Adesua. She finished secondary school two years ago and has been trying to get into the university. But we're having trouble with the admission process. We don't know who to meet to help, and I'm worried we'll miss the deadline again."

I nodded sympathetically, recognizing the stress and uncertainty etched on her face. "I'm not sure if I can be of help, but tell Adesua to call me," I said as I wrote my phone number on a piece of paper and handed it to her. Days later, Adesua called. I got more information about her choice of university, and we made a few calls. With the help of God, Adesua got admitted.

Months later, Maria called again. This time, she was worried about the possibility of Adesua dropping out of school because they were unable to raise the money to pay her fees. Adesua reached out, and we made a commitment to help with the fees until she graduated. Years later, I referred a friend's daughter seeking admission in the same university to Adesua, who was in her final year at the time. To my chagrin, Adesua did not only decline to assist, she told the young lady we didn't really do much for her. That all she got was by her hard work.

Really? After helping with her admission and paying her tuition for 3 years, Adesua said we didn't really assist. Wow! Adesua, why? We were disappointed and almost regretted helping Adesua. I learnt a lesson never to regret showing kindness to those who may not appreciate it. Not everyone you assist will appreciate it. The fact that your good deed is not appreciated does not make it less of what it is - kindness. Alway remember that your good deed reflects who you are and must be unto God. Keep being kind, whether it is appreciated or not. Remember Galatians 6:9.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

NA SO I TAKE KNOW..

I was thinking this morning.... I woke up early last Thursday, had my quiet time, and commenced preparation to leave for the office. After dressing up in my spiffy new outfit, I put my charger and reading glasses in my bag and zipped it up. I looked around the bed and shelf to be sure I wasn't forgetting anything. I got into my car and zoomed off.

I was in the office within 10 minutes, parked in my usual spot, and got out my bag and access card. It was a short walk to the first floor where my office was located. As I walked into my office, I got out my laptop, reading glasses and charger. I connected the laptop to the desktop monitor and powered it on. Next was plugging the charger into wall socket, placing my notepad to the right of my desk, and taking my seat.

I took a deep breath as I pressed Ctrl-Alt-Delete on my laptop to kick-start my day. The login page appeared, and I entered my login details with the next step being to approve login on my phone. I reached out to get my phone but couldn't find it. I checked my pockets and emptied my bag but it wasn't there. Yea! Na so I take know say I forget my phone for house.

As I dashed out of the office for the 7-minute drive back home, I remembered a conversation on the radio the day before where a lady had got social media talking about how she knew she was getting married. She had written, 'My partner called me one evening and said, I have taken my leave for July and will be going to see your parents. Just like that. Na so I take know say I wan marry o.'

Many have been strung along into marriage by what they thought was genuine. Shortly after the wedding, they started seeing a completely different person. Na so dem take know say dem don enter one chance.

Sometimes, life does not give you a clear and direct message. You will have to deduce it from the prevailing events, words, or tone. It is important to be sensitive and alive to goings on around us. Many have realised too late that danger was lurking around. As we begin the Ember months, I am trusting that your target for this year is still on track because Proverbs 6:10 says, 'Yet a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to sleep, na so you go take know say poverty don dey come.'

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy New Month!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

EDUCATION NA PREGNANCY

I was thinking this morning.... I woke up this morning reflecting on the looming deadline for me to pay another school fee before the beginning of the September session. 'Na wa o! When will this school fees project end?' I soliloquised. I did a mental calculation to estimate the end date and was relieved to know it isn't far off. Then it dawned on me, educating your child(ren) is like pregnancy.

To conceive, nurse, and deliver a baby requires a high level of love, commitment, and discipline. I remember a period when my dad was out of a job and had zero source of income. He did not as much as suggest that we drop out of school. He went as far as borrowing just to ensure we continued with our education. There are some that have terminated their pregnacies just because they lost their source of finance to care for the pregnancy. It takes a deep commitment to see a pregnancy through. Educating your child is like pregnancy.

There was a time when my dad had exhausted all his credit lines and could no longer borrow. We thought it was over, but not yet. My mum, who also sold out to the ideals of educating the children, started selling off her Judge and Singles wrappers so we could continue schooling. Some ladies have resorted to aborting their babies because their partners or support system abandoned them. Don't tell me school na scam. School na pregnancy.

The good news is that for every pregnancy, there is an EDD (Estimated Date of Delivery). Sometimes, the EDD is passed, and the labour pain is severe, but thinking of the joy of holding your baby gives one the strength to keep pushing. For as many that may be struggling with paying of school fees, be encouraged. Like a difficult pregnancy or false labour pain, bear it because the EDD is near.

My parents gave their all to educate us, and today they are resting. I am doing my very best to educate my children, and my eyes are set on the EDD, by the grace of God (BTGOG). As we approach another school fees week, keep pushing and faint not because it won't be long. Your EDD will come. Galatians 6:9 says, 'And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.' Toiling to pay your children school fees is a good thing. Do not faint.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

BORROW-BORROW

I was thinking this morning... The 2024 Paris Olympics have come and gone, but one incident got me thinking deep. It was the incident involving Nigerian cyclist Ese Ukpeseraye. She was called up at short notice to represent Team Nigeria in the Kerin & Sprint event. Unfortunately, she had no bicycle to race with on the tracks. In the spirit of sportsmanship, the German team came to her rescue by lending her a bicycle.

As I read the account of what happened, I recalled my experience as a student in Uniben. We were preparing for an upcoming exam and all I had were my class notes. At some point, I realised I needed the textbook to study. I couldn't afford it at the time. I approached my buddies to lend me their copy, but they all said they needed it to study. I was left with no option than to approach Jane, one of the young ladies I liked but had 'no liver' to 'toast.' 'Hello Jane. I was wondering if I could borrow your textbook,' I asked trying to sound confident. Instead of the expected yes or no answer, Jane gave me this snide look and said, 'You want to borrow my textbook? Again? Hmm! Borrow-borrow.' I felt my face heat up and literally heard an explosive sound, as my ego shattered into a million pieces.

Chai!!! Calling me borrow-borrow was bad enough, but coming from a love interest was a killer punch. I thought about promising myself never to borrow again, but deep down, I knew it wasn't feasible at the time. I consoled myself with the fact that I wasn't borrowing for vanity. In other words, I wasn't a 'Borrow-Pose.' While I felt slightly better, the 'borrow-borrow' label? 'O enter gan,' in the voice of my Ijesha friend.

It is not a shameful or bad thing to borrow. What will be shameful is to borrow to satisfy your lust. Borrowing to invest or develop oneself is actually good. While some persons borrow clothes, cars or even money to show off, the smart ones borrow to invest. Ese borrowed a bicycle to become the very first Nigerian cyclist to participate in the Olympics. I borrowed textbooks to study to become a graduate. What are you borrowing for? If you must be called a borrow-borrow, what will it be for? Borrowing may not necessarily be a bad thing, but you can live a life free of borrowing. Remember Deuteronomy 15:6.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

HAVE YOU BEEN IFANGELISED?

 

I was thinking this morning.... Recently, I went out for general evangelism. We had arrived early in church to go out in small groups to distribute tracts and win souls for Christ. As we approached people on the streets, some were willing to listen to the good news, but others would not even as much as accept a flyer or tract. They were too much in a hurry or too busy to even listen for a minute.

Humans have been in the business of winning people to their side since time immemorial. There are different terms to describe winning someone over to ones conviction or to accede to your views. If someone is preached to and he or she accepts Christ, that person has been evangelised. If it is a different religion or conviction, that person has been proselytised. If scammers in Nigeria succeed in convincing their victim to take their bait, it is said that the person has fallen mugu or he has been mugulised.

As we returned, I imagined how challenging it is to win people over. I was still brooding on this when I came across a Hiace bus with the word 'Ifangelism' boldly written in front of it. What does 'Ifangelism' even mean? Is it a new vocabulary in the lexicon? Oh, I see. It is most likely Evangelism misspelt. Hmm! Me I don add am join my vocab. While I define evangelism as spreading the good news or winning people over to a good cause, Ifangelism to me means winning people over to a bad or lost cause.

If you do not have time for the good news but spend your time watching x-rated content on your phone, you have been ifangelised. You complain to everyone about tithes and offering, yet you spend all your money on sports betting. Don't worry about being evangelised, because you have already been ifangelised.

In this unrecognisable world where young girls sell their eggs for flex money and boys willing to sacrifice their parents for a car, we must focus on the root cause. The surge in the attention industry meant a lot more people are ifangelised through their phone than they are evangelised. How you use your time will determine if you will be evangelised or ifangelised. Ephesians 5:15-16.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

NO ONE IS A VIRGIN

 

I was thinking this morning.... Last Wednesday, a day before the nationwide #EndBadGovernance protest began, I took my young wife shopping at the local market in my neighbourhood. I found a free parking spot by the bench of a lady retailing small bunches of plantain. As I focussed my gaze on the tray of plantain, lost in thought, the lady stood up and picked up a particular bunch that looked like they were going bad. I observed her as she lifted the bunch, turned it around, and looked at it, her eyes twinkling with worry and her face washed with fear and uncertainty.

I peeped at her from the side glass of my air-conditioned car and imagined what could be going through the mind of the woman. If that plantain gets bad, that will be part of her capital gone. How will she feed her children and pay their school fees? 'Oh God, please send a customer to buy this plantain today,' I can imagine her praying. How do people, particularly petty traders with families, survive in present-day Nigeria? Our leaders are really heartless and wicked to not feel the pain of the masses. As I kept looking for who to blame for the predicament of the lady, I had a whisper that says 'there is no virgin in a maternity ward.'

I immediately recalled my experience in 2003 when I was called one midnight to drive a neighbour in labour to the hospital. She sat at my back seat, clutching the husband's hand, even as she moaned, groaned, and screamed. As her husband whispered soft words of encouragement, she barked at him, 'Shut up. No be you do am?' Wow! How can you blame the man for your labour pain? There is no taking in without first receiving. Both the man and woman had a part to play. Truly, there is no virgin in a maternity ward.

When it comes to apportioning blame for our woes, most people see themselves as virgins in a maternity ward. It is very easy to point at leadership or someone else as the source of your problem. While leadership failure plays a key part, we all are culpable. Nigeria is like a maternity ward, and no one is a virgin. We contributed to our current woes by our actions or inactions and must take responsibility. Psalms 139:23 - 24 says, "Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

And Sophia Cried

 

I was thinking this morning.... Last week Saturday, I was privileged to be the guest speaker at a graduation and Prize-giving ceremony of Havilah Gold School, a private secondary school at Epe, Lagos. There were speeches followed by academic and cultural presentations by the students. Great atmosphere it was. The high point was the presentation of awards to deserving students.

From one best in this to best in that, the roll call went on with loud rounds of applause. A young female student, Sophia Adeleke, sitting on the second row, watched her classmates being called upstage one by one. She was quiet, head looking to the floor, probably feeling the pangs of disappointment yet again and wondering when in this life, it will be her turn to be called for recognition and award.

Then she heard it 'And the award for the Best Improved Student in Junior Secondary goes to.... Sophia Adeleke.' There was a loud gasp from the students that drew the attention of everyone to poor Sophia. Sophia's jaw dropped. Her? Best Improved Student? She was confused. Did she just hear her name? She looked around, just to be sure, bowed her head and started crying. Everyone clapped, but Sophia was too paralysed by surprise to find her feet. With the support of her friends, she finally stood up, trembling, and with more tears rolling down her face, she slowly made her way to the podium.

Almost moved to tears myself, I imagined what could be running through the mind of the little girl. She was probably used to being at the bottom of her class. People may have called her 'never-do-well.' She may have waited for years to be recognised like others, but it never happened. She has accepted that nothing good can happen to her.

There are so many 'Sophia' out there that have waited all their lives to be recognised and awarded on any stage. They watch others every week climb up the altar and testify of one breakthrough or another and wonder, 'when will it be my turn.' It seems as if everything good passes them by, and they wonder why. The experience of Sophia Adeleke gave me hope that good things can happen to anyone. Give your best in all things, and 'Sophia' may just happen to you. Romans 4:18 - 'Who against hope believed in hope, that he might become...' Only believe.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

THE BUSH FLOWER

 

I was thinking this morning.... It was 20 years last Friday since my second missionary journey to Bonny National Grammar School (BNGS) on Bonny Island. As I paused to give thanks that Friday morning, my thoughts drifted to 1991, when I was first posted to BNGS for my NYSC primary assignment. I had prayed and lobbied to be posted to any of the oil companies in Port-Harcourt, but God had other plans for me. With fear and tears, I entered the local boat, which was then called 'See me, see water,' en route to Bonny Island.

It was the first time I was to live in a remote riverine community. I was accommodated within the school premises and assigned to teach biology. After overcoming my initial self-pity, I embraced my reality and made up my mind to make the most of the situation. With the support of fellow teachers like Mr Johnson and Mr Sokari, BNGS became my second home.

Within a few weeks, my high energy and effervescent nature had seeped through my teaching like gravy on hot rib eye steak. I inspired the love of education in so many students and prepared them for schools debates. I remember blowing their minds with the 'This is the beginning of the end and there can be no end if the begining has not ended,' as well as the 'Warsaw never saw war until Warsaw saw war' quotes.

The nine months I spent on Bonny Island between 1991 and 1992 became one of the most fortuitous periods of my life. When it was time to leave, I declared, during my sendforth, that I would be coming back, after my M.Sc, to work with the multinational company that was about to be constructed. July 19, 2004 (20 years ago, last Friday), I walked into BNGS in fulfilment of that prophecy.

As I reflected on how I gave my best in that remote location, I recalled the fact that flowers blossom in a forest even when there is no one to admire their beauty. The truth is, you can't make a real success out of your life if you are unhappy with yourself. Wherever you find yourself today, give your all and blossom. I can never know what would've become of me, if I had rejected my posting to Bonny island. Embrace your reality. God is taking you somewhere. Isaiah 28:29 (GNT) says 'The plans God makes are wise, and they always succeed.'

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

THE MIDNIGHT JUJU

 

I was thinking this morning.... Sometime in the eighties, we lived in a 4-flats building with the landlord, in Gbiaye Street, in the Marine Quarters area of Warri. One day, the landlord had sent for my dad and complained that he had been having a problem sleeping at night because of a strange noise. He posited that it seemed someone in one of the flats had juju that came out at midnight, making this ka-ka-ka-ka sound that kept him awake. The landlord and my dad's bedrooms were separated by just a wall.

Despite assurances from my dad that there was nothing of such, the landlord sent his grown sons on a search mission to uncover the juju disturbing them at midnight. They turned my dad's room upside down but found nothing. Then they moved to the two flats downstairs and did the same, but no luck.

Though angered by their ridiculous accusation, we decided to pay attention that night to help unravel the mystery. 'You know say e no dey tay before dem dey catch winch for Warri.' We waited as everyone went to bed. Decibel by decibel, the surrounding noise went down. As the noise finally died after midnight, we listened intently, waiting to hear the steps of the juju. 'Listen. I can hear it now,' one of us said. We inclined our ears and could hear the ka-ka-ka-ka sound. We followed the sound into my dad's room again. We froze and listened. It seems to be coming from above us. We looked up and almost died of shock by what we discovered. We finally caught the juju. It was my dad's old ceiling fan.

Apparently, the ceiling fan, due to wear and tear, makes this tick-tock sound when on low oscillation. It does so all day, but no one hears it because of the noise all around. It seemed louder from midnight when everywhere was dead quiet.

Don't be too quick to jump to a conclusion. Too many Africans are fighting imaginary devils because of their ignorance. Many are too lazy to investigate or do a deep dive. If only they can quiet the noise of their prejudices. Like they say, everyone's mountain is their ignorance. Invest in developing your mind because it is a thought factory. It produces based on the raw material you feed it. If you put in garbage, you get garbage. Proverbs 4:23 says "Keep your heart will all diligence; For out of it are the issues of life."

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

LOOKING FORWARD TO 7.30PM

 

I was thinking this morning.... My flight landed in Lagos right on schedule, at about 3.30 pm. The vehicle was on hand to pick me up. We immediately set out ahead of rush hour traffic. As we exited the Third Mainland Bridge at about 4.30 pm, we ran into the rush hour traffic at Victoria Island. Oh no, I exclaimed quietly in my soliloquy. One will think I was rushing to meet a business appointment. It wasn't that. Why exactly was I bothered about an hour or so of delay, since I wasn't driving? A deep search exposed what was driving my anxious expectation. I was in a hurry to get home before 7.30 pm.

What exactly was happening at 7.30 pm? No, I wasn't expecting a VIP at home. I was rushing to watch Tinsel on DSTV. Wow! How is it possible that I have become hooked on this soap opera on TV? I did a mental playback and discovered to my chagrin that for 16 years, I have been looking forward to 7.30 pm each week day.

Tinsel is a Nigerian soap opera that began airing on DSTV in August 2008 and is currently in its 17th season. There were times when the plots in the series were really interesting and understandably held me spellbound. But there were many times the storyline was drab and made no sense, yet I still looked forward to 7.30pm. As I imagined how from one day to a week and then one month of watching Tinsel has grown to 16 years, it gave me a fresh understanding of how Smokie, in its 1972 hit song, could live next door to Alice for 24 years without telling her how he feels.

Whenever I wasn't physically on the ground to meet my 7.30 pm appointment, like when I was out of the country, my decoder was always there to record every episode. Apart from my walk with God, which has been since 1994 (30 years), I am not sure of any other daily or weekly activity I have been committed to for an unbroken 16 years. It is difficult for me to understand how I can be committed to a TV program for 16 years. For the 30 mins each week day means I have cumulatively spent 87 days of my life watching just Tinsel.

Be careful what you give your time to. Just one video game or one episode of Telemundo, before you know, it has become an addiction. Don't watch another porn video, else you get hooked. Time is one of your most valuable resources. How effectively you are spending your time is a reflection of how your life will be. Redeem your time because the days are evil (Eph 5:15).

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

EVERYWHERE STEW

 

I was thinking this morning..... as the first half of the year ends today, I reflect on a number of recent incidents. Tomato, the edible berry of the plant Solanum lycopersicum, has, from time immemorial, been an indispensable ingredient in making our Nigerian stew. It is also a basic ingredient in a large variety of raw, cooked, or processed foods, including our signature Nigerian jollof rice.

In recent weeks, however, tomatoes have become like gold. Scarce, expensive and out of the reach of ordinary citizens. In order to keep enjoying our traditional rice and stew, Nigerians have creatively resorted to cucumber and watermelon stews. The truth be told, without fresh tomatoes, stew no fit be stew.

'Everywhere Stew' is a deliciously inane Nigeria phrase that means something that is masterfully prepared and high quality. For lovers and fans of Nigerian music star, David Adedeji Adeleke, popularly known as Davido, you will no doubt agree that his June 25th glamorous wedding tagged Chivido'24 cannot be more succinctly described than to say 'Everywhere Stew.' There is only one thing that made it happen. Tomatoes were not in short supply. Without tomatoes, everywhere can not stew.

Ironically and sadly, on the same day everywhere was stewing at Harbour Point in VI, Lagos, just a stone throw away, 45 year old Nick Imudia, the former chief executive officer of Konga and CEO of D.light, a leading innovator in residential solar energy solutions, was tired of life and decided to end it by jumping from his residential storey building at Lekki. Nick had all the money to buy tomatoes, but he couldn't make everywhere stew.

Just like stew without fresh tomatoes is putty, living without the tomatoes of life is torture. While some may rely on money to buy the tomatoes for their stew, others simply just sow the tomatoes they need. Self-love, peace, and a renewed mind are the tomatoes of the stew of life. Cultivate the tomatoes of life and then you will be sure everywhere will be stew around you. No wonder Romans 12:2 says, 'And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.'

My prayer for you is that as we get into the second half of this year, everywhere will be stew around you. You will not lack physical tomatoes nor the tomatoes of life.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

GOD, I NEED YOUR FEVER

 

I was thinking this morning..... I, again, remember my childhood days in Warri. While my most fond memories are those of fun playing games with sardine keys, rubber seeds, and bottle caps (table soccer), there were sour memories that I would rather not remember. One of such were times I came down with a fever. To me, coming down with a fever was triple jeopardy. You suffer from high temperature and body pain and then contend with the very bitter taste of chloroquin. Finally, there is the torture from the body itch as side effects of the chloroquin. Argrrrr! Merely thinking of being feverish in those days gives me the creeps.

Though that feeling had slowly bleached out like a coloured cloth in the desert sun, I still don't like the thought of having a fever. Hence, my surprise at seeing an inscription on a motor bike saying, 'God, I need your fever.' Really? Does God have a fever He gives to people? Thinking deeply about it, I realised it was a challenge of grammar. What the writer had in mind was 'God, I need your favour.'

I am not sure if excessive favour can lead to fever, but I know that no one prays for fever. It is, however, possible to receive a fever instead of a favour if your endeavour is laced with terror. For instance, when you scam people during the week and go to church on Sunday, lift up unholy hands and then pray for favour. No. No. No. Instead of favour, you will receive a fever.

Yesterday, I attended the wedding ceremony of my colleague in Warri. As the couple posed for photographs, I could feel the chemistry between them and confident they both would enjoy favour. If you are lucky to have a God-fearing and responsible spouse, you will have favour. God help you if you land a 'soyoyo.' Fever shall be your portion.

Proverbs 18:22 says, "Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD." There are many praying for favour but receiving fever. My prayer for you is that instead of fever, you shall receive favour. God no go shame us.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

WHERE ARE THE FATHERS?

 

I was thinking this morning.... We grew up in the Ogboru neighbourhood of Warri. An area where vices were prevalent. As young boys, we were highly impressionable and easily influenced by the grown-up jagudas and bomas. It was at this crucial phase of my life that my dad gathered us one evening and said 'Study hard and come top of your class (First to Third) and you will get a packet of Cabin biscuits and a tin of Corned Beef.' That challenge set my feet on the right pedestal, unlike so many other boys who were positively challenged.

I was reflecting on this experience when I received a call from a scammer. The second in one week. While a number of young people are profiting from the 'Attention Industry' known as Social media, the majority are wasting their lives away. Young men are perfecting scamming techniques while girls are shamelessly exposing their flesh to the world or engaged in electronic hook-up. Yet, statistics say there are 1.5 billion fathers in the world. Really?

Walk to the streets, and you will be shocked by how gangs, drugs, immorality, and sports betting have imprisoned the destinies of the youths. Yet, statistics say there are 1.5 billion fathers. Abeg, where are the fathers? Visit the home of an average street child, and you will see a single mother struggling to care for her children or an emotionally absent father. Yet, statistics say there are 1.5 billion fathers. Abegi!

A father is a shining light and a beacon to his children, steering them to becoming morally, spiritually, and emotionally stable adults. There might be 1.5 billion men that have impregnated women, but definitely not 1.5 billion fathers. You hear so much about social media influencers, but people forget that the most important influencer in the family is the man. If he successfully influences the children to greatness, then he is a father, otherwise, he is just a man.

As we celebrate another Fathers Day, I challenge all men to reflect on whether they are true fathers. An emotionally absent father is as bad a case as a physically absent one. Proverbs 23:24 says, "The father of a righteous son will rejoice greatly, and one who fathers a wise son will delight in him." Don’t withhold your love, affection and approval from your children. Be a true father.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Fathers Day!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

PARABLE OF THE 24 PATELS

I was thinking this morning.... It was a joyous occasion of the graduation of a member of my kin. The faculty had just a few Africans, amongst other nationals. As we sat eagerly listening to the roll call by the Ceremonial Marshall, one after the other, the proud graduands walked across the stage to receive their degrees from the University Chancellor.

It was a normal roll call until it got to M.Sc in Computer Science. The Marshall called out PATEL, Darshit Champakbhai, attracting pockets of applause from the hall. Next was PATEL, Dev Utkarsh. More applause followed and then PATEL, Devanshi Dineshbhai. At this point, I got curious at how a single family will have three persons obtain same degree from Computer Science at the same time. But then, I was dead wrong. The roll call of the PATELS had only just begun. It continued from one PATEL to another. At the last count, 24 graduands with surname PATEL had walked across the stage.

O boy! Na who be this PATEL sef? How can one family have 24 members graduate with M.Sc in Computer Science on same day from the same school? What are the odds? What does the PATELS know about Computer Science that the rest of us don't. But then, I was told none of the PATELS were related. The surname Patel is of Indian origin derived from the Gujarati word "pat" or "patlikh" and means "village chief" or "farmer." On that day, 24 village indians surnamed PATEL bagged M.Sc in Computer Science. The farmers and village chiefs had transformed into techies.

The unrelated 24 PATELS got me thinking. Don't let the circumstance of your birth determine the outcome of your life. You may have been born a farmer, but you can walk the stage of life and become a techie like the 24 PATELS. I have always said that the fact that apple and pine-apple have the same surname does not mean they belong to the same family. That we are all called Nigerians does not imply I belong to the same mould as most of the criminals we call leaders. Just like the 24 PATELS are different, I am a peculiar person (1st Peter 2:9). Dare to be different.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey