WE ARE BUT CHILDREN

 

I was thinking this morning.... This past weekend, the daughter of my secondary school classmate got married in Toronto, Canada. With adequate notice, over 20 classmates travelled from Nigeria, Europe, and North America to honour our friend and classmate. It was a re-union of some sort and the first time of reconnecting with some classmates after 39 years.

While the day was meant to be for the daughter of our friend, it turned out to be a mamas' and papas' fun day. With every of our classmate that walked into the venue of the traditional wedding, there was a shout from someone hailing a friend he hadn't seen in years. We laughed, hugged, and threw banters at each other.

As we made these loud noises, my daughter sat close by watching our every action. I am sure she was wondering what the heck was wrong with these old folks. As the 'yabbies' continued, I wondered how and why we weren't behaving like parents and grandparents that we are. I looked around me and realised that amongst our childhood friends, we were all but children.

When the paying of the bride price was over, we gathered to dance with the couple at a small reception behind the house. The noisy Hussey College group was there to sing the school anthem, and then something unexpected happened. The Mother of the Bride (MOB) stood up to sing a song and boom. What followed was the most bizarre song a truant college student could ever sing. One that would immediately attract punishment from the school principal. Everyone was left in stitches from the laughter. The bride sat there, probably wondering why her mum and her friends were acting like children. She had no idea that amongst your childhood friends, you are but a child.

The next day, we all packed ourselves like kids going for excursion and headed for a fun day at Niagara Falls. Without the thoughts of school fees or family and work challenges, we experienced the freedom of kids. But wait a minute, amongst your childhood friends, aren't we all kids?

There are few occasions where an adult is truly childlike. One of such is when you are with your childhood friends or classmates. Take a break from being a father, mother, pastor, boss, oga and madam, and just be a child for a day. It would do you a lot of good. In Matthew 18:3, Jesus admonished us to be like children.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

THE PLATE AND THE PALATE

 

I was thinking this morning.... I was still doing my Masters, when I ran into a former classmate in Benin City. It was a time we were in a hurry to make it. He was looking good and had great panache or like we say, e don hammer. He invited a friend and I for lunch and we obliged. After all, student no dey reject free food. As we gisted, I observed his transformation from our days at the university and was determined to understand his template.

We settled into this popular restaurant in town and placed our order. Of course, someone else was paying, so we ordered 'orobo' portion. As the food was being placed before me, I suddenly heard my stomach grumbling and my mouth salivating. It was like my hunger had doubled. It must be true that the content of the plate determines the reaction of the palate.

Without hesitation, I dug into the dish and kept going until I was full. It was only then that I started to see and think clearly. Like the Scripture says, the eyes of my understanding became open. I started noticing things about my friend that made me contemplate.

After an hour of gisting, I still couldn't say exactly how he made the money he was spending. From his expensive smelling frangrance to his designer clothes, I imagined how what he was spending could pay my school fees ten times over. What about his wristwatch? Hmm! It was even gold plated.

The more I saw, the stronger my doubt about the source of his wealth, and the more I got uncomfortable and decided to cut short the outing. We shook hands one more time as he dropped us off on campus. As he turned to speed away, I looked again to wave a goodbye, and I caught a glimpse of the licence. Wow! His nickname was on the number plate.

As I opened the gate and walked towards my room at the BQ, I recalled the words of Proverbs 1:10, 'My son, if sinners entice thee, consent thou not.' I re-appraised my values one more time. I would rather enjoy a plate of jollof rice cooked with firewood than pretend to be a big boy using an electric hotplate.

The devil will always tempt us with the luxury of life to derail us, but Ephesians 6:14 had admonished us to stand, gird our waist with truth, and have righteousness as our breastplate.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

WHERE YOU DEY CARRY ME DEY GO?

 

I was thinking this morning morning..... Have you ever flown those intercontinental flights that take about 14 hours? I did it a couple of times in my younger years without hassle. On such a flight, you eat, watch movies, read, sleep, wake up, watch movies again, stand to stretch your legs, but the trip never seems to end. Like Fela sang in one of his oldies, the trip go tire your body. E go tire your mind.

This was my feeling on a recent trip, and I couldn't but recall the experience of a young Warri girl, as told by a colleague. In his early days in one of the oil companies in Warri, his colleague, who was single at the time, got an international posting. In order not to sojourn in the far away land alone, he hurriedly perfected his wedding to his Warri girlfriend.

It was a dream come true for this Warri girl, travelling abroad for the first time, and more so, with the love of her life. When the journey started, it was wonderful. She ate, watched movies, and gisted with her husband, but the journey was just beginning. She slept and woke up after a few hours, yet they were not there. At one point, doubt about her safety and whether she could really trust the man she just got married to, started to creep in.

A couple of hours later, the doubt had changed to fear and the fear had taken the better part of her enthusiasm. She turned and looked at her newly wed husband straight in the eyes and said, "My guy, where you dey carry me dey go?" Before her husband could explain, she broke into tears. According to my colleague, it took other passengers to console this young Warri girl that her husband was not taking her for slave trade.

Sometimes, we all have doubts about the process and journey of life. You left your job and comfort zone, convinced by a friend, to travel abroad for greener pastures. Or you recently made a big decision in your career or business that you thought was going to change your life. Now, a few years on, and you are not sure anymore. It's okay to cry and ask, "Lord, where you dey carry me dey go?"

If God is the one that is taking you, relax and fear not. You are not alone. Abraham looked forward to a city whose architect and builder is God (Hebrews 11:10). God is taking you to a glorious place.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

THE POPCORN GENERATION

 

I was thinking this morning...... I attended a training with some colleagues this past week and was discussing how we coped with life in the seventies and eighties. A colleague who became a seafarer at 18 told us how they routinely spend 6 months at sea without phones, video calls, or social media. This was a period when you sent an email, and the shortest time you got a response was 24 hours. How did they even survive those years? How did they not die of boredom?

As he spoke, I reflected on our lives in Warri. How we gathered in the yard to play and wait till 4 pm when TV station resumes. There were no flat screen TVs or video games for us as children. For those lucky enough to have a television, their screen time was no more than 5 hours daily. We didn't die of boredom. Our life was not slow.

Life today is different. Very different. Young people of today live in a bubble. They are the popcorn generation, who wants to change from corn to popcorn in seconds. They live in a fast world, eat fast foods, and drive fast cars except that they do not fast, to strengthen their spirit man.

Oh, the popcorn generation. They say they are socially and upwardly mobile and in a hurry to get rich. The Yahoo gang of that generation spend their time on mobile phones, live in mobile apartments, invest heavily in mobile data and at the end they become guests of mobile police.

For the rest of us that are legit, our lives have become virtual reality. We hold our family and business meetings in virtual spaces. Instead of going on vacation to appreciate nature, we do virtual tours. We spend virtual currency to pay for our kids to have virtual learning. Sadly, we have all become avatars in a virtual world.

When I recently saw my NYSC photo and how my trousers looked like skirt, I knew immediately that the popcorn generation would not understand. Every good thing in life takes time. The radio jingle of old says, "Jeje o, my friend o, no rush life o, you hear. Jeje o, jeje o, take am coolee oo." Where are we in a hurry to? Relax and appreciate life. Ecclesiastes 9:7-9 comes to mind. Be real. Be human. Be alive.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy New Month!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

NA WETIN I GAIN?

 

I was thinking this morning..... It was my colleague's birthday a couple of weeks ago, and in my usual manner, I sent him a short email greeting, saying, "Happy birthday. Kindly accept my best wishes." Everyone else I had sent that message to in the past always responded with a simple "thank you." But this my guy gave a completely different but profound response. He responded, "Thanks, Mr Wey....but wetin I gain if I no receive your best wishes?"

The response got me thinking. Truly, is there a possibility that he wouldn't accept my best wishes? I have always known that "Kindly accept my best wishes" is a polite and formal way of expressing your well wishes to someone. What I have, however, not thought about is whether anyone really considers accepting or not accepting.

I can understand someone rejecting a birthday gift but haven't imagined someone not accepting one's best wishes. As I walked into the office the next morning, still musing on the response, another colleague who had offended me the day before said, "Good morning." My carnal mind was telling me to ignore him, but then my church mind said, "Mr Wey, na wetin you gain if you no receive his good morning?"

The "Na wetin I gain" test is a trigger for deep and honest reflection. There are many things we do that we would not, if only we subject ourselves to the "Na wetin I gain" test. You are a man and said your wife offended you. Therefore, you refused to eat her food or touch her. Chai! Na wetin you gain?

You are in a position of authority. Together with your cronies, you stole the funds meant for providing basic amenities, including health care. When you are sick, you run abroad, forgetting you have family and friends here that will become victims of your failures here. Na wetin you gain?

The Warri bible version of Mark 8:36 says, "Na wetin person go gain if e kolobi the whole world and come kpai im soul?" Before you take the next big decision, ask yourself the question, "Na wetin I gain?"

But wait o... Is today not my mum's birthday? Na wetin you gain if you no join me to send her best wishes?

Happy Birthday, Maami!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

ARSENAL HAPPENS TO US ALL

 

I was thinking this morning.... The last  four weeks have been terrible for true Arsenal fans. Arsenal FC last won the Premier League in 2003/2004 season. There was so much expectation of them winning something this season, but like in recent years, they faltered in the last mile. First, they gave up the fight with Liverpool for the Premier League, and then their only chance of winning a trophy after 5 years, the Champions League, evaporated after losing to PSG home and away. Since then, the Gunners and Gooners have been the butts of jokes.

Memes and AI generated photos were shared widely on social media with the most striking being a video of a young man approaching a young lady and said, 'Since Arsenal hasn't won a trophy this season, every Arsenal fan will want a girl like you because you are a walking trophy.' Chai! O enter gan. Another that got me thinking was the AI generated image of Arsenal players atop an open roof double-decker bus in the streets of London with the inscription 'We Tried FC.'

Despite Arsenal holding the record for the highest number of FA Cup wins, having claimed the trophy 14 times, most recently in 2020, it didn't stop the trolls focusing on the one thing we've failed at, the Champions League. But then, aren't we all part of 'We Tried FC'? I doubt if there is anyone who has never tried and failed in one way or another. Arsenal happens to us all.

It's the way of the world. First they force you to focus on your failures rather than your success. Next, they will laugh at you for putting in your best and not succeeding. How has putting in your best and not succeeding become a sin? You've studied hard and attempted an exam multiple times and not succeeded, and haters call you 'We Tried FC.' Haba!

Sadly, not everyone can manage failure well, particularly when teased or laughed at. The 19-year-old female student from Ikorodu that committed suicide because she scored 146 in the last JAMB UTME exam, lower then her 190 score for last year, probably did so because she felt disappointed and was afraid of being seen as part of 'We Tried FC.' It was Winston Churchill who said, 'Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.' Isaac Newton, Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Edison and many other great men all failed spectacularly before they succeeded. Proverbs 24:16 says, 'Though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again'. Arsenal happens to us all and it is not a curse.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

WHO IS YOUR SAMARITAN?

 

I was thinking this morning.... a couple of weeks ago, we got the sad news of the death of an elder in church. He was about 70 years old. While his passing was shocking, the manner he died was heart-wrenching. He retired from active service not too long ago and started living alone not long after, having separated from his wife of so many years. The children are all grown up and living on their own.

On the fateful Monday morning, he collapsed while washing clothes. Because he lived alone, there was no one to help. For the next 4 days, he laid dead in his flat. No one who came to look for him got alarmed enough by his absence to break into his flat. By the weekend, the offensive smell and swarm of flies by his window had attracted the attention of his neighbours, who later broke in and discovered his decomposing corpse. 

In my shock, my mind wondered. How is it possible that for the 5 days he was dead in his flat, no one loved him enough to be alarmed by his being incommunicado to go look for him? Where were his children? What was his relationship with his neighbours? Should a 70 year old man even be living alone? There are so many unanswered questions.

Of all the questions, there was one that I couldn't shake off my mind for a long time. For 30 years or more, this man gave the best part of his life bringing up his children. How is it possible that for 5 days, none of the children called their father, who they know live alone, to the point of becoming alarmed when there was no response after 48 hrs? 

I still don't have all the answers and probably never would, but it is important for every man to plan for their retirement years after the kids are long gone. Be intentional about maintaining harmony with your spouse. Aside from death, it is a terrible loss to be separated from your spouse at old age when you both should provide each other succour. Building a strong relationship with your neighbours is another must. 

We all need a Samaritan in life (Luke 10:36), who will care enough to go out of his/her way to ensure you are okay. The Samaritan could be your spouse, child, neighbour, or brother in the Lord. Who is your Samaritan?

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey