STRENGTH IS KNOWING WHEN TO WALK AWAY

 

I was thinking this morning… We grew up in the Ogboru area of Warri at the time. Our neighbourhood had its fair share of jaguda and boma boys—ruffians who thrived on intimidation and violence.

As young boys, we mostly minded our business, but there were moments when these boys bullied and oppressed us. On one such occasion, my dad tried to intervene, and to my shock, these uncouth boys dared to insult him.

As a young boy, I expected my dad to respond with force—to smack them and defend his honour. Instead, he calmly pulled us into the house and warned us to stay away from the jagudas and focus on our studies. I felt disappointed then. It seemed to me that he had chosen weakness over strength by not giving violence for violence.

Many years later, after we had all graduated from the university, those same area bullies were mostly dropouts who had made little of their lives. Looking back, it became clear how easy it would have been for my dad to react in anger. But that reaction would likely have drawn more violence toward us—his prized jewels. He understood that it was better to remove us from danger and break the cycle of violence than to protect his pride or ego.

As I began to raise my own children, I often remembered that incident and taught them that not every violent situation in life deserves a violent response. I didn’t fully grasp the depth of that lesson until recently, when I came across a Senegalese proverb that says:

“The day a mosquito lands on your testicles is the day you will know there is a better way of resolving issues without using violence.”

My dad was a man of peace—one who walked away from trouble whenever he could. In the winter seasons of my life, I always remember the many lessons he taught me, keeping me warm till summer comes. I remember my dad again today in a happy way.

As the Scriptures say in Proverbs 10:7: “The memory of the righteous is blessed, but the name of the wicked will rot.”

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

PERSON WEY DEY PURGE (PT 2)

 

I was thinking this morning… Sometime last year, I was craving bole and fish and decided to patronise one of the shops at the Elakahia bole and fish market in Port Harcourt. Being my first time there, I was spoiled for choice, as every shop had a salesperson trying to convince me to patronise them.

After selecting from the bole and fish on display, they placed them on the open-air charcoal grill while I waited. Thereafter, they cut the bole and fish into a large bowl, added palm oil pepper sauce, and sliced utazi leaves to enhance the flavour of the dish.

On getting home at about 4pm, I rolled up my sleeves and, layer by layer, levelled the bowl, washing it down with a chilled bottle of malt drink. I went to bed at about 9pm that night feeling heavy and bloated. By 1am, I was woken up by a grumbling stomach and a strong urge to use the toilet. Between 1am and 3am, I visited the toilet 13 times and almost passed out from dehydration. The purging no get part 2.

I never knew the five metres distance between my bed and the toilet seat was so long until that night. However, I was never tired of walking the distance, because person wey dey purge no dey tire to waka.

Some have suffered love purge, while others have experienced financial purge that made them walk distances they never imagined they could make.

Life has a way of pushing us beyond our comfort zones when pressure comes—whether from sickness, fear, love, finances, or uncertainty. In those moments, we discover strengths we never knew we had. Truly, when urgency shows up, excuses disappear. May we learn to channel that same energy we display during our “purge moments” into pursuing our dreams, solving our problems, and building better lives—before pressure forces our hands.

As the Bible reminds us: “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13).

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

PERSON WEY DEY PURGE

 

I was thinking this morning… Sometimes, I really don’t understand how little attention we pay to our choice of words. A guy came to me some time ago asking for financial assistance. I understood his challenge and was willing to support him. When I asked how much he needed, his response deflated my spirit. He said, “Only ten thousand naira.”

Really? Only ten thousand naira? If ten thousand naira was only, why didn’t he have it? I wondered. Could our habit of qualifying a sum of money as “only” have come from the days of writing cheques, where we ended every amount in words with “only”? Na wa o!

As I reflected, I recalled the Nigerian proverb that says, “Person wey dey purge no dey select toilet.”

Ehn! Have you ever travelled on a road trip and had the misfortune of developing a running stomach? God help you. After shouting, “Driver, stop, stop!” you dash out of the vehicle to the nearest—and probably only—available toilet. On getting there, you discover it is dirty, maybe just a hole in the ground that you have never used in your life. Do you walk out and ask for another one? Never! You ignore the dirt and immediately squat to relieve yourself. You know why? Person wey dey purge no dey select toilet.

It was this picture I had in mind when my boss told me about a young lady who had done her NYSC with us some time back. After searching unsuccessfully for a job, she approached my boss for help. “Sir, I really need your help with a job o, even if it is a contract job.”

Like, seriously? “Even if?” Person wey dey purge dey select toilet? At this point, she was purging and should not be selective—or definitely not in any position to give conditions.

Sometimes, life puts you in a position where you have no choice but to accept what is available, not what is desirable. At such times, you have to be mindful of how you present your request, because using words like only and even if gives the impression that you still have options.

The oyibo man says a beggar has no choice, but I would rather say: person wey dey purge no dey select toilet. Proverbs 21:23 admonished us to watch our words.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

LIFE IS A DIFFERENTIATOR

I was thinking this morning… Late last year, I had reason to visit an old classmate, and I rode with another classmate for the trip. As we sat in his SUV catching up, my mind drifted back to our school days.

We were three close friends—hardworking, studious, and intentional. We attended lectures together, studied together, and usually sat in the top quartile of the class. We all had big dreams of excelling and making our mark in our chosen careers. Interestingly, we earned the same first degree and M.Sc., and our drive looked very similar.

But life had different scripts for each of us. Two started strong. One joined a multinational as a management trainee. Another began a promising career in a major bank. The third started more modestly as contract staff in an oil company. Then life began unveiling its package. Decades later, our outcomes are very different.

My friend who went into banking suffered a terrible motor accident a few years into his career. That single event changed his life forever—his career was cut short, his marriage didn’t survive it, and he never fully regained his physical fitness. My second friend rose quickly through the ranks, became a senior manager, but was forced to retire before age 50. He later went into business and is doing fairly well today. The third friend remained a contract staff for 10 years before securing a permanent role—where he still works today.

All three gave their best. All three worked hard. But life was the differentiator. And every time I speak with the friend who received the toughest blows, I do so with deep admiration. Life showed him pepper—and he made pepper soup from it. Despite the setbacks, he embraced resilience, reinvented himself repeatedly, and survived. Today, he has set up a consultancy to help others—drawing from what I can only describe as a rainbow of life experiences. He may not be the most financially buoyant among us, but he is truly living.

As I look into 2026, one lesson stands out: How you start may not be how you end. If you’re starting slow, keep building. If you’re starting strong, stay grounded and maintain momentum. Because what happens to you matters—but how you respond matters even more. Romans 9:16 says: “So then it is not of him who wills, nor of him who runs, but of God who shows mercy.”

Stay hopeful. God’s got our back.

Happy Sunday.

…Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

WHEN LITTLE EFFORTS MATTER

 

I was thinking this morning… I recently flew between two local airports and something small I noticed on the tarmac has stayed with me.

We had boarded, the doors were shut, and the aircraft was pulling away from the gate. Sitting by the window, I watched the ground movement outside. Not far from the gate, I noticed a crushed plastic water bottle lying on the airside—probably flattened by the wheels of a luggage cart. It was insignificant. Honestly, I didn’t think it could cause any harm.

Then I saw something that made me pause. The aircraft marshaller walking ahead of the aircraft noticed the bottle. He stopped, picked it up, slipped it into his pocket, and continued on his way, likely to dispose of it properly later. Keeping the airside clean wasn’t his job. But he clearly understood something deeper—that one person’s neglect, however small, can affect everyone. That moment stayed with me.

I recalled how similar scenarios occur all the time back at the office. Chairs left out in walkways, blocking clear paths in the open office. Sometimes, as I walk past, I push them back under the desks. Other times, I just walk on, and do nothing.

And that’s when it hits me. Leadership isn’t really about titles or what we do when people are watching. It shows up in the small, quiet choices we make—especially when no one is paying attention. A good leader does what’s expected within their role. A great leader goes a step further and serves the team in ways that don’t come with recognition or applause.

As we continue to unveil 2026, I’m reminding myself of this: don’t wait for a position before you act. Don’t wait to be asked before you serve. Just do the right thing, even when it seems small. As the Nigerian proverb says, “Pikin wey go strong go strong… no be until dem name am Samson.” Don’t wait to be called a leader. Be a leader. Strength shows up long before the title does. SOS 2:15 comes to mind.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

SHOWING UP BEFORE YOU FEEL READY

 

I was thinking this morning.... A little over a year ago, I stepped into a new role with expectations that felt both exciting and intimidating. As 2025 began, I wrestled with a familiar tension many leaders know well. If I dove in fully, my shortcomings might be exposed. If I slowed down to learn the ropes, it might look like I wasn’t ready. So I chose a third option—I showed up. Fully. Consistently. Relentlessly.

I brought energy into every room. I attended every meeting. I responded to every email. I leaned into leadership for my team. One colleague summed it up in classic Nigerian parlance: “Oga, your ginger dey ginger our ginger.” And when I found myself in conversations where I knew very little? I stayed present. I listened intently and nodded vigorously, not to pretend I knew it all, but to signal commitment, curiosity, and ownership.

Something interesting happened a few months in. I stopped playing the role and started living it. The work no longer felt foreign. The expectations no longer felt overwhelming. By the close of 2025, the results spoke clearly: targets surpassed, milestones achieved, confidence earned.

As I reflect and look ahead to 2026, one lesson stands out. Just as it is said that in order to fall asleep, you have to first pretend to be asleep, sometimes, growth begins with behaviour before belief. The Gen-Zs will rather say, you fake it till you make it. This isn’t about empty posturing. It’s about disciplined action. Showing up as the person you aspire to be. Doing the work the way it should be done.

Visualization matters. Affirmations help. But progress in 2026 will demand movement. Don’t just speak about who you want to become, prepare for it. Act like it. Work towards it. Build the capacity to receive the opportunity when it comes.

There’s also a cautionary wisdom from home: “E go land, e go land, na im make butterfly take carry person enter bush.” Hope without preparation can be dangerous. Show up. Do the work. Stay grounded. That’s how you grow into the future you’re aiming for. Proverbs 14:23 highlights that hard work leads to profit, while talk alone results in poverty.

Thanks to everyone that made 2025 phenomenal and this is wishing all my beautiful colleagues and friends a Happy and Prosperous New Year.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

PREPARING FOR TOMORROW

 

I was thinking this morning... As 2025 winds down in a few days, I find myself quietly reflective. It feels almost surreal that a full year has passed since our rare family reunion—grandparents, parents, and grandchildren together under one roof, celebrating life, legacy, and love. Today, my thoughts drift toward 2026 and beyond. With that reflection comes a familiar companion: concern about what the future holds.

That concern deepened recently when someone close to our family was unexpectedly retired after 20 years of service, effective January 1, 2026. Overnight, certainty gave way to questions. For anyone in that position, the fear was real: What next?

Almost in the same breath, I received a message from a senior friend announcing his 60th birthday and retirement after a long, distinguished career spanning banking and public service. As I read his words, another quiet tug at the heart followed. Life’s seasons are unmistakable. The carefree years (0–30) are behind him. The productive years (30–60) have just concluded. He has now entered what many call the final season (60–90). Again, the same question surfaced: What does the future hold?

A new year, an early exit from work, or retirement at fullness all share one thing in common—uncertainty. And uncertainty often breeds worry. Yet the older I get, the clearer one truth becomes: the best way to prepare for the future is to take responsibility for today.

What are you doing now about your health, your finances, and your career? The wisdom in pidgin says it plainly: “Who naked no dey put hand for pocket.” If you don’t clothe yourself today, there will be no pocket to reach into tomorrow. And as another saying goes, “Na ‘I go do am tomorrow’ make fowl no fit fly like other birds.”

When we focus intentionally on what we can do today, worry about tomorrow eventually dies of exhaustion. Or, as Scripture reminds us: “Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” The future will always be uncertain. Our responsibility is to live wisely, deliberately, and fully—today.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey