VIP, VVIP, VVVIP… Who Come Remain?

 

I was thinking this morning..... on Friday I attended an event that could pass for a State event, with state governors, ministers, first-class traditional rulers and captains of industry in attendance.

When I was given a VIP access card, I felt very honoured. After putting on my "Christmas cloth," I arrived at the venue feeling like a big man. It wasn't until I got into the hall that I discovered that my VIP card was actually at the lowest rung of the ladder. There were VVIPs and even VVVIPs ahead of me. Chai! So VIP no VIP again?

Why is one Very in Very Important Personality not enough? Why do we need multiple "verys"? At what point do we stop? VVVVIP? VVVVVIP? Before you know it, somebody's access card will be longer than his CV.

As I pondered on it, I realised that we are a people built on respect. Respect for authority. Respect for elders. Respect for position. Respect for achievement. In our traditional African society, age itself comes with honour. You don't wake up one morning and suddenly decide that because civilisation has arrived, your father's elder brother is now your "guy."

You can now understand why Tony Elumelu responded the way he did to that Gen Z who addressed him simply as "Tony." A man old enough to be her father and, on top of that, happens to be her employer. As the Gen Zs will say, please make it make sense.

That's also why I find it uncomfortable and disrespectful when I hear some comedians refer to the VVVIP of life as "Bros J," all in the name of comedy. Chai! When did your Lord and Saviour, Jesus, become your bros?

That Friday, I entered feeling like a VIP and quickly discovered that in the hierarchy of important people, I still dey learn work. But perhaps the bigger lesson is that we should honour people without worshipping titles, respect elders without diminishing the young, and enjoy access without looking down on those outside the door.

And above all, while human beings may be VIP, VVIP or VVVIP, there is One before whom governors, kings, billionaires, presidents, employers, employees and even we ordinary VIP cardholders must bow. For that level, no need for plenty "V." Na who get invitation card fit form VIP, when Owner of the hall enter, everybody go stand up. As the Bible says: "That at the name of Jesus every knee should bow... and that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord." (Philippians 2:10–11)

So the next time dem give me VIP card, I will still wear my Christmas cloth and enjoy myself. But this time, I will first check whether VVIP and VVVIP dey the building before I begin form big man. 😂

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

AFRICAN MAN TIME ASSOCIATION

 

I was thinking this morning.... I was tasked to organise a send-forth event for a friend and colleague, and we fixed the event for this past Friday. Hall booked. Caterers engaged. Invitations went out more than two weeks ahead, giving everyone ample time to prepare. The advertised starting time was 4:00 p.m. prompt.

Then came D-Day.

As the chief host, I arrived at the venue an hour early, just to make sure everything was going according to plan. By exactly 4 p.m., the smart-looking waitresses were already standing beside beautifully arranged tables, ready to receive our guests. The only problem was that there were hardly any guests to receive.

As we waited…and waited…I suddenly realised I had been given enough free time to reflect on that famous Nigerian institution called African Man Time.

African Man Time is that mysterious interpretation of an invitation that boldly says “4:00 p.m. prompt,” but somehow experienced Nigerians understand it to mean, “Start dressing around 4.” In fact, that was exactly what happened with my colleague we were sending forth. I had called him around 3 p.m. to ask if he was ready. His response? He planned to go and have his bath by 4 p.m.! I weak.

As I waited, I began to realise that within this African Man Time Association, there are different categories of members.

First are the Early Birds. One gentleman walked in around 4:15 p.m., looked around the almost-empty hall and asked, “Where is everybody?” When I told him we were still expecting them, he shook his head and said, “Hmm! African Man Time.”

The Early Birds are the people who arrive close to the advertised time and, one hour later, begin regretting the good upbringing their parents gave them.

Then there are the Experienced Guests. They see 4 p.m. on the invitation and calmly do their own calculation, thinking, “Okay…that means 6 p.m.” Within this group are the VIPs, whose arrival somehow determines when everybody else's clock officially starts ticking. Until they arrive, the event has apparently not started, even when it has started.

But perhaps the most interesting group is the Organisers. People like me two days ago. These are the people who deliberately write 4 p.m. when, somewhere at the back of their minds, they are actually expecting the event to start around 5.

I never realised I belonged to this group until a colleague called me around 4:30 p.m. and asked, “Wey, why did you fix the event for 4 p.m. when work closes by 4:30?” Even me, I tire for myself.

The truth is that African Man Time survives partly because everybody expects everybody else to be late. Organisers announce an earlier time because they expect guests to arrive late. Guests arrive late because they believe organisers deliberately announced an earlier time. Everybody is deceiving everybody, and somehow, over the years, we have upgraded the deception into culture. Chai!

Las las! Punctuality is ultimately about respect. Respect for other people's time. Respect for their commitments. Respect for the fact that the one or two hours we casually waste may be time they could have spent doing something else. And perhaps the biggest evidence that African Man Time is not really an African problem is the airport.

Give the same Nigerian a 10 p.m. international flight and by 6 p.m., he is already at the airport checking the departure board every five minutes. Nobody will say, “The flight is 10 p.m., so let me leave home around 10:30.” Why? Because we know that aircraft no dey understand African Man Time.

So maybe our problem is not that Africans cannot keep time. Maybe we simply keep time when we believe there are consequences for being late. African time no dey work for oyibo man airport.

Perhaps it is time we extended the same respect we give the airline's time to the time of our friends, colleagues, families and communities. Because time, unlike money, cannot be refunded. Once spent, it is gone. As the Bible reminds us in Eccl. 3:1 “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.” If there is a time for everything, then perhaps 4 p.m. should simply mean 4 p.m.

I was just thinking....

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

THE MILLION-DOLLAR BABY

 

I was thinking this morning... Years ago, my brother told me a story about how he and some colleagues went to visit their wealthy boss whose wife had just delivered after many years of waiting. They had spent millions of naira on IVF in Nigeria and abroad. After countless disappointments, she finally conceived and gave birth to a bouncing baby boy in America.

When mother and child returned home, friends and well-wishers trooped in to celebrate with them. The baby was brought out for everyone to admire. As the greetings continued, one of the visitors stretched out his hands to carry the baby. Instantly, the proud father quipped, "Don't touch my million-dollar baby!" Everybody laughed, but everyone also understood what he meant. That child was priceless because of the journey that brought him into the world.

Unless you have waited endlessly for the fruit of the womb, it is difficult to understand the silent tears many couples shed. Some spend fortunes on IVF. Others travel across continents. Some become victims of fake prophets, herbalists and scammers who prey on their desperation. The desire to hear one voice call you "Daddy" or "Mummy" can make people attempt almost anything.

Yet life has an interesting irony. For some people, pregnancy comes almost effortlessly. For others, it costs millions. But the destiny of a child has never been determined by the price paid to have that child. The so-called "million-dollar baby" is probably over twenty years old today, but his worth is no less and no more than the child born naturally in a village clinic or the baby delivered in a government hospital for almost nothing.

Every child carries the same divine fingerprint. Perhaps that is God's way of reminding us that while money may influence how a child comes into our lives, it can never determine who that child will become.

Never measure human value by the cost of acquisition. Every child is a gift from God, not a product with a price tag. Pikin no be designer cloth; whether na for boutique or market you buy am, na the person wey wear am dey give am value. Psalm 127:3 says "Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from Him."

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

IF YOU WERE THE JUDGE

 

 

I was thinking this morning... Last week, a friend of mine who is a magistrate reached out to me sounding unusually low. "What's the matter?" I asked. "I had a case today that got me emotional."

He went on to tell me about a barman whose young daughter suddenly fell ill and needed urgent medical attention. At the same time, his rent had become due and he was on the verge of being evicted. Desperate, he begged his employer for a loan of ₦650,000 to save his daughter and keep a roof over their heads. His boss refused.

With nowhere else to turn and time running out, the young man took the money from the day's sales without his employer's permission. He was later arrested and brought before the court.

In court, he admitted taking the money. He did not deny his actions. He simply pleaded for mercy, saying he could not watch his child die while waiting for help that never came.

My friend then asked me a question that has refused to leave my mind: "What do you do to such a man? Send him to prison because he broke the law, or allow him to return the money and care for his family?"

As he spoke, I remembered Matthew 12:3-4, where Jesus reminded the Pharisees that David and his companions ate the consecrated bread because they were hungry. Human need did not suddenly make the law irrelevant, but it reminded us that justice without compassion can sometimes miss the heart of God.

In the end, my magistrate friend had little room for personal emotions. The law was clear. He sentenced the young man to one year imprisonment with an option of a ₦20,000 fine, while still requiring him to repay his employer. That conversation left me thinking.

Poverty is not a licence to steal, and stealing does not suddenly become right because life is hard. Yet, before we rush to condemn people, perhaps we should thank God for the temptations we have never had to face. Sometimes the difference between the "good man" and the "criminal" is simply the battles life has allowed each of them to encounter.

As Nigerians often say, "Na hungry fit make person forget say pepper hot." Desperation can push people to places they never imagined. So, let us pray not only for justice, but also for mercy. And above all, let us pray that God never allows us to face the kind of temptation that exposes the worst version of ourselves. 1 Corinthians10:12 says "Therefore let anyone who thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall."

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy New Month!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

WHO DASH US THIS COMPARING SPIRIT?

I was thinking this morning... Early this past week, a colleague walked into my office with a heavy heart. You know that kind of look that says, "I don tire." Before he even sat down, I knew this conversation would not be about work.

For over ten years, he has worked as a contract staff. In that time, many of those who started with him and even those who came long after him have risen through the ranks, and moved on to bigger opportunities. He looked at me and asked the question many people silently ask themselves every day: "What am I doing wrong?"

As my colleague poured out his frustrations, I recalled my visit to one of Nigeria's biggest consumer goods companies in Lagos a few weeks ago. Ironically, it was one of the companies I once dreamt of working for. Their operational discipline was impressive, and their people worked with incredible dedication. Out of curiosity, I asked what their contract staff earned. I was surprised to discover that their highest-paid contract employee earned about a quarter of what my colleague earns.

Yet something caught my attention. They were happy. Not because they earned the most, but because many had learnt to find purpose in where they were while preparing for where they hoped to be.

Life has a funny way of deceiving us. We often believe the person ahead of us is living our dream, while that same person may be looking elsewhere, wishing for another life entirely. If we spend all our time comparing our journey with someone else's, we may miss the blessings that God has already placed on our own road.

By all means, be ambitious. Improve yourself. Work hard. Pray. Prepare. But don't allow comparison to steal your peace. Your journey was never designed to look exactly like another person's.

As we say in Warri, "Na who know road fit tell whether e near or e far." Every journey has its own timing. Just like we all look different so does our path differ. Walk your path faithfully. Comparison creates pressure, but purpose brings peace. Proverbs 3:5-6 says "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight."

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

THE TIMEKEEPER - 19TH JULY

 

I was thinking this morning... This morning, I glanced at the calendar and immediately froze. 19th July. For a few seconds, I just stared at the date because this date has quietly occupied a special place in my heart for the last 22 years. Many people only saw me in my glory days. Very few knew the long road that led to it.

Almost ten years after completing my Master's degree, I was still searching for the breakthrough I believed God had promised me. I worked as a contract staff, changed employers, changed jobs, and even changed cities in pursuit of something better. There was movement, but no certainty.

I attended interview after interview. Some ended with promises that never materialised. Others ended in complete silence. I prayed. I fasted. I served God faithfully. I believed that if I did everything right, my glory season would surely come quickly. Instead, the only thing that seemed to increase was my anxiety.

At some point, it honestly felt as though heaven had gone quiet concerning my matter. People I expected to help couldn't. Situations refused to cooperate. Every closed door made the next one look even heavier. Then life became even more demanding. I got married in 2001. A year later, God blessed us with our first child. Suddenly, waiting was no longer just about me. Every passing month made the need for stability even more urgent.

And then... something changed.

Almost overnight, doors that had remained firmly shut began to open. People who knew me started calling. Even those who had never met me somehow became channels of favour. Opportunities appeared from unexpected places. It was as though invisible hands had gone ahead of me, rearranging circumstances in my favour. The same prayers that seemed unanswered for years suddenly started producing results one after another.

Then came 19th July.

Twenty-two years ago today, I walked into the opportunity I had dreamt about for years. What looked like delay was actually divine preparation. What I interpreted as silence was God working behind the scenes. What I called stagnation was simply heaven waiting for the right moment.

Over the years, I have come to understand something about God that changed the way I view life. God is not only a Promise Keeper. He is also the Timekeeper.

Many things in life are not determined solely by intelligence, hard work, ambition or even sincere desire. Timing is one of God's greatest instruments. Before the appointed time, every effort may appear fruitless. Doors remain closed. Relationships fail to connect. Opportunities slip away.

But once heaven announces that your season has arrived, everything begins to align. The same people who ignored you become your advocates. The same opportunities that looked impossible suddenly become accessible. The same doors that resisted you begin to open effortlessly.

The difference was never your worth.

It was the timing.

Never conclude that God has forgotten you simply because your calendar looks different from someone else's. Your responsibility is faithfulness and preparation. God's responsibility is timing. And when His time comes, what took years of waiting can happen in moments. Like we say in Warri, when your market day never reach, even person wey wan buy go waka pass. But once your day break, na buyers go dey look for you. Ecclesiastes 3:11 (NIV) says, "He has made everything beautiful in its time."

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

THE GATEKEEPER

I was thinking this morning... A week ago, I attended the annual gathering of my professional association. During the meeting, a man walked up to me and asked, "Do you remember me?" While his name sounded familiar, I couldn't recall his face.

"Do you remember 22 years ago when we came to Port Harcourt for an interview?" he asked. "I was the one who convinced you to stay back and do the interview when you thought the position was only a contract role. You wanted to abandon the interview and return to Warri to make an office presentation because you believed the job wasn't what you expected."

Wow!

As he spoke, the events of that day came back to me vividly. Thank God I listened to him. I got the job, and 22 years later, I am still with the same organisation. Looking back, I can confidently say that one conversation changed the direction of my career.

After we parted that afternoon, I couldn't stop thinking about a recent article written by a friend titled "Gatekeepers, Bookkeepers and Timekeepers." God places all three kinds of people in our lives at different seasons.

The man who stopped me from abandoning that interview was a gatekeeper standing at the entrance of my next level. His assignment was simply to make sure I didn't walk away from the gate God had opened for me.

Sometimes God also sends gatekeepers to stop us from entering the wrong gates. At the time, they may seem like ordinary people having ordinary conversations. Yet they are quietly carrying out extraordinary assignments.

The interesting thing is that gatekeepers rarely stay in our lives for long. They appear, do what God sent them to do, and move on. That perhaps explains why I couldn't even remember him until he introduced himself. I only recognised him as one of God's gatekeepers after 22 years.

As we climb higher in life, may we also become gatekeepers for others, encouraging, guiding and sometimes gently stopping someone from walking away from their own breakthrough.

Like we say in Nigeria, "Person wey show you road no reduce him own journey." Helping someone find their path never diminishes yours.

Never underestimate the value of one timely conversation. God often changes lives through ordinary people. "Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future." Proverbs 19:20 (ESV).

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

IS WEY MEY ALSO AMONG THE POLITICIANS?

I was thinking this morning.... Days ago, I had to fly from Abuja to back home. On boarding, I took my seat along with two of my colleagues in the front row of the aircraft. I sat beside a middle-aged man and said a casual hello.

As others boarded, I noticed a number of persons greeting the passenger beside me and someone sitting in the next row.

“Good afternoon, Your Excellency.”

I didn’t pay much attention until another man greeted him, “Good afternoon, Mr Speaker.”

It was then I turned and properly looked at those around me.

To my left was the Speaker of the House of Assembly. In the next row to my right was the Deputy Governor, and directly behind me were two Commissioners. Almost all the seats in business class were occupied by members of the State Executive Council. These were people you see on TV daily.

Immediately, I became a bit uncomfortable as I recalled the words of 1 Samuel 10:11: “What is this that has happened to the son of Kish? Is Saul also among the prophets?”

I imagined a friend walking into the aircraft and seeing me in my black felt fedora hat sitting beside the Speaker and Deputy Governor. They would have said: “What is this that has happened to Wey, the son of Mey? Is Wey Mey also among the politicians?”

Then something struck me. These men, despite the titles, convoy, security details and public status, were just human beings trying to get from one place to another. They boarded the aircraft the same way I did. They fastened their seat belts the same way I did. And when turbulence came, all of us held that armrest with equal faith.

Life has a funny way of reminding us that titles may separate us on paper, but humanity equalises us in reality. It also reminded me of how quickly environment can influence perception. Just by changing where you sit, people may suddenly assume you have changed camp, status, or affiliation. Association can create assumptions.

At the end of the day, power is temporary, influence is seasonal, and office is transient. Today’s “Your Excellency” can become tomorrow’s “former this” and “former that.” Respect people, honour positions, but keep life in perspective. Luke 14:11 says “For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

ARE YOU HAPPY TODAY?

 

 

 

I was thinking this morning... In about three weeks, it will be 22 years since I joined my current organisation. For 22 years, almost every morning after greeting colleagues, I ask one simple question: “Are you happy today?” In recent years, I added another version: “Are you coco today?”

Some respond with a cheerful “Yes.” Others use the opportunity to share the burdens they are carrying. But beyond the words, the real purpose of that question has always been simple, to remind us to be thankful for another day.

This past week brought that message home in a sobering way.

It began on Sunday night with news of an explosion at a Qatar LNG plant. Thirteen people lost their lives, and 66 were injured.

Then on Wednesday came another tragic news report, this time from outside the Oil and Gas Industry. A four-storey building under construction in Port Harcourt collapsed, trapping workers beneath the rubble. Sadly, at least one person who left home that morning would never return.

So yes, when I ask, “Are you happy today?” I ask from a deeper place.

If you woke up each work day, went to work, and returned home safely, that alone is reason enough to be grateful. No be every battle we dey see with our eyes.

Safety is both a personal responsibility and an organisational duty. But beyond procedures, controls, and systems, we must never forget that life itself is a gift. Sometimes, despite every precaution, freak accidents happen. Ultimately, God is the One who keeps us.

Never take today for granted. Every safe return home is a blessing worth celebrating. Psalm 121:8 says “The Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.” Let me ask one more time, Are you happy today?

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

WHO WILL SPEAK FOR MEN?

I was thinking this morning… When it comes to family matters, na who write that script? And why dem no consult men before releasing the movie? Yes, women carry pregnancies and give birth, no debate there. Respect. Massive respect. But when it comes to the stress of caring for infants, men too collect premium package.

From the day our wives become pregnant, we begin running around like people wey borrow money from ten banks at once. Midnight cravings? We move. Foot massage? We report. Mood swings? We adjust. One minute she wants ice cream, next minute she wants pepper soup. If you delay small, you are now insensitive.

Then baby arrives.

We double our hustle because failure is not an option. We want to be heroes. We want that child to admire us. But after all the sleepless nights and hard work, the child’s first word is usually… Mama. Chai. Pain. Emotional damage.

After that heartbreak, we triple our hustle. This time, we work harder so our family lacks nothing. But in doing so, we spend less time at home.

Now, if you decide to stay home more often, your wife starts looking at you with that “gbejoro eye” and asks, “Hope everything is okay at work?” Your neighbours too will contribute their own analysis. “Why this man dey house like this? E no get work?” Before you know it, dem don label you agbaya consultant.

The hardest part is the unwritten rule that men must always be strong. Who made that rule? Are we robots?

Months ago, I lost my dad. During his lying-in-state, as we all walked around his remains, my sisters cried openly. They poured out their emotions freely. We the men? Everybody was looking at us like we were on some “Strong Men Association of Nigeria” executive committee.

“As the sons, be strong.” Strong ke? As how? Are we not humans too? So we did what men have mastered over generations. We wore dark glasses and behaved like undercover FBI agents, hiding tears behind tinted lenses.

But truth be told, men feel deeply too. We hurt. We cry. We break. As we say in pidgin, “Na person wey wear shoe know where e dey pinch am.” Even the strongest man gets tired.

Today, I celebrate fathers. The present fathers. The fathers carrying burdens nobody sees. The fathers showing up every day, tired but determined. Thank you for the sacrifices. Thank you for the strength. Thank you for loving, providing, protecting, and enduring. I also remember my late father on this Father's day. God bless his soul. Proverbs 20:7 says “The righteous man walks in his integrity; his children are blessed after him.”

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Father's Day!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

NO MATTER HOW LONG YOUR MONEY IS...

 

I was thinking this morning... Some years ago, I was negotiating to buy a property in Warri and could only afford about 60% of the asking price. While still pleading with the owner of the property to consider my offer, I was told a week later that someone had offered the seller 300% of the asking price. My friend helping me with the deal just asked me to walk away because according to him, "the person money long." Though I was annoyed with the arrogant show of wealth, I wasn't surprised because that is Nigeria for you.

That memory came rushing back on Friday when Elon Musk became the world's first ever trillionaire in dollars and has $2 trillion at his fingertips after investors flocked to buy shares in SpaceX yesterday. Let me help you understand. One trillion dollars is one million million dollars. Laid end-to-end, two trillion dollar notes could wrap around the equator 3,890 times and reach the sun from the Earth. Yet, one poor man in Warri is harassing me saying "im money long." Rubbish!

What about the fans of Manchester United that will not allow us Gunners rest, because they claim to support the richest club. Yet one man, Elon Musk, could snap up Manchester United more than 281 times. Abeg sports fans, make una let us breathe.

Imagine me attending an event in Lagos recently and parking my 2020 Lexus SUV in one corner, feeling good. Just for someone to come and park his brand new 2026 Lexus beside mine, turning my car into a welfare case. If that is not oppression, then I don't know what is. That guy should go and flex muscle with Mr Musk, who could buy the world's most expensive car, a Rolls-Royce Droptail, for £25 million and even splash out on a new one every day for the next 163 years. Or he could purchase 14,000 Boeing 737s. Mtcheww.

Even more annoying is how Nigerians oppress you with joy. At another event, we were required to bless the celebrant. I went out with my hard-earned change in crisp notes. Before I could do anything, I observed one guy dropping bundles running into hundreds of thousands that made it look like I was there to sacrifice to an unknown god. He didn't see his mate, Mr Musk, who could pay off Nigeria's total public debt ($110 billion) several times over and still have enough left to tackle world hunger, na my body e dey get power.

But beyond the jokes, perhaps the lesson is that there will always be someone richer, stronger, smarter, or more influential than us. The race to impress others never ends because the finish line keeps moving. After all, no matter how long your money is, there is always somebody whose money is longer. Comparison steals joy, but contentment multiplies peace. Hebrews 13:5 says "Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have,.'"

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

SEEDS, SAPLINGS, AND THE CHILDREN WE RAISE

 

I was thinking this morning.... On Friday, June 5, I was a special guest at RA International School (RAIS) to join the early years pupils, ages 3 to 6, in celebrating World Environment Day. After a short indoor session where we talked about going green, we all stepped outside to plant some trees together.

With the children gathered around excitedly, we planted the first tree, the perfume tree (Ylang-Ylang), popularly called Queen of the Night. At the second spot, we planted a Queen Palm. At the third spot, we were about to plant a mast tree when a bright little boy, about four years old, asked, “If trees grow from seeds, why are we planting saplings instead of seeds?”

It was such an innocent but thoughtful question. We explained that the saplings had first started as seeds in a nursery where they were carefully nurtured to improve their chances of survival before being transplanted into the open ground.

As we explained, my thoughts drifted back to my childhood in Warri. In those days, many of us were thrown straight into the fields as seeds and not saplings. There were no nurseries to cushion us. We started trekking to school from very young ages, exposed early to the harsh realities of life. Yet, by God’s grace, many survived and grew strong.

Today’s children are more like nurtured saplings, protected within high walls, surrounded by comforts, cartoons, video games, Capri-Sun, and Choco-Milo. There is nothing wrong with either approach. Some seeds survive the storm. Some saplings flourish because they were first protected.

Perhaps the lesson is that every generation grows differently. Some are planted as seeds and learn to survive storms early. Others are nurtured first as saplings before facing the winds of life. Neither method is completely right or wrong. What matters is that, whether seed or sapling, we grow roots strong enough to stand, branches wide enough to give shade, and hearts humble enough to remember the hands that watered us along the way.

As we planted those trees with the children that morning, I was reminded that growth takes patience, guidance, and grace. Some of us grew through hardship, others through careful nurturing, but ultimately, it is God who gives the increase. 2nd Cor 3:6 says, “Paul planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the increase".

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

ONE NIGERIAN GATHERING, PLENTY PROVERBS

 

I was thinking this morning.... Two nights ago, I organised a sendforth for a colleague and good friend of 22 years, who also happened to be my boss over the last three years. We gathered at the Lake Deck (Eco-View) of the now-popular Finima Nature Park gazebo for drinks, fish, and other “medemedes.” It was an evening filled with lighthearted jokes and banter.

My mind was fully focused on the event until someone made a comment that sent my thoughts into overdrive. He said, “This place is so nice. I am already feeling at home.”

“Feel at home ke?” was my immediate reaction because, as we say, “Feel at home, feel at home, na im dey make visitor spoil remote o.”

Shortly after, a group of four colleagues arrived. As we exchanged handshakes and shoulder bumps, I noticed one I hadn’t seen in months looked much lighter than before.

“Bros, see as your face smooth and fair,” I told him.

He smiled and replied that it was enjoyment. But as I walked away, my restless mind whispered another proverb: “E dey clear pimple, e dey clear pimple, na so bleaching dey take start o.”

Later, one guest mentioned he was leaving to honour another appointment. I stood up and said, “Let me escort you.”

Immediately, I burst into laughter because my mind instantly responded, “Escort me, escort me, na so slave trade dey take start o.”

Towards the end of the evening, I noticed a few people ordering takeaways. When I asked why, someone replied, “Abeg, make we chop your money today.”

As my face frowned slightly, my mind, determined to keep the comedy alive, dropped yet another line: “Make I chop this guy money, make I chop this guy money, na so ashawo take start o.”

Thankfully, none of those proverbs applied that night. It was simply another reminder that in Nigerian gatherings, no statement survives without a street proverb waiting to escort it home.

Humour, culture, and everyday sayings often reveal the creativity of our people. Sometimes, laughter is not just entertainment — it is how we bond, reflect, and keep life light even in serious times. “Like one who takes away a garment on a cold day, or like vinegar poured on a wound, is one who sings songs to a heavy heart.” — Proverbs 25:20

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

Cricket Mama Don Fail: My Battle With a Bedside Lamp

 

I was thinking this morning.... I checked into one of the big hotels in Lagos this past week. By the bed was a basic bedside lamp, nothing unusual. At bedtime, I wanted to put off the light by trying the switches but none turned it off. I ran my fingers through the lamp holder looking for a switch, but nothing. I walked to the master switch at the entrance of the room. I tried each of them but no luck. I tried every single switch in the room but the bedside lamps didn't go off.

As I was getting frustrated, I forced a smile while recalling the pidgin proverb that says, “Na cricket mama tell im children say, no matter how ground strong reach, dem no go sleep outside.” I was determined to figure this out. I went back to the lamp, stared at it for another minute but still couldn't figure out how to turn it off. Finally, I decided to power down the whole room so I could sleep. Cricket mama don disappoint im pikin. Dem sleep outside.

The next morning, I called room service to send someone up. I told the technician to please show me how to switch off the lamp. He simply pointed to the lamp and said, “Just pull down this rope.” Wow! For the first time, I noticed a tiny thread attached to the lamp. How was it possible that I didn’t see it during the five minutes I spent searching the previous night?

The answer was simple: I wasn’t looking for a thread; I was looking for a switch.

It is like the iconic FEDEX logo. Many people never notice the hidden arrow in the design because they are not looking for it. But once you see it, you can never unsee it. It is also similar to deciding to buy a particular brand of car. Suddenly, you begin to notice that same brand everywhere.

Life is often like that. We sometimes miss opportunities, solutions, lessons, and even people because our minds are fixed on a particular expectation. What we seek shapes what we see. Keep an open mind; solutions do not always come in familiar forms. Frustration often blinds us to simple answers. Perspective can determine perception. Psalms 119:18 says “Open my eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of thy law.”

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

WHAT IF I NEVER WENT TO OKERE THAT DAY

 

I was thinking this morning.... Yesterday, my brother-in-law turned 60, and family and friends gathered physically and virtually to celebrate his diamond jubilee. As the joyful shouts of “Happy Birthday” and “Congratulations” filled the air, my mind drifted back many years.

It was a quiet evening sometime in August of year 2000 when I received news that a mutual friend was having his marriage introduction in the bustling community of Okere, Warri. I left work early that day and attended with my brothers and a group of friends we fondly called “Officers.”

While at the event, my attention was drawn to a young lady moving around warmly attending to guests. Curious, I asked about her and discovered she was the younger sister of our mutual friend. About eighteen months later, that same young lady became my wife. My young wife.

As the birthday celebration continued yesterday, one question kept echoing in my heart: What if I had not attended that introduction ceremony at Okere? Would I still have met my wife? Would my children even exist? Could the course of my life have turned out completely differently?

That single decision to attend an event changed my life forever — thankfully for good. Yet it also reminded me of other moments in life that carried unseen consequences. I remember surviving a terrible accident one Sunday while returning from church. Years later, I still wonder: What if I had stayed back a little longer?

Life is full of moments that seem ordinary at the time but later reveal themselves as destiny-defining encounters. God orchestrates events in ways we often cannot understand. What appears accidental to us may actually be part of a greater design.

Never underestimate the significance of simple decisions. Some opportunities and encounters carry life-changing consequences. God often works quietly through ordinary moments to shape extraordinary destinies. What if I never went to Okere that day, would I be celebrating Kess Moke at 60? “Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” — Proverbs 19:21

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

ELDER AKINTUNDE VACANT SEAT

I was thinking this morning.... About five years ago, I started attending a new branch of my church because my former assembly had become too far from home. As I became more involved in service and pre-service prayers, I quickly noticed an elderly couple in their late seventies — Elder Akintunde and his wife, Deaconess Akintunde.

They were always there. Before most worshippers arrived, the couple would already be seated in the middle section of the auditorium — second row, first and second seats to the right. Week after week, service after service, they occupied those same seats with quiet consistency. Over time, they almost blended into the structure of the church itself. To many of us, seeing them there felt as certain as seeing the pulpit or the pews.

Last Sunday, after being away for a few weeks, I arrived early as usual and instinctively looked toward their seats.

Empty.

At first, I assumed they had changed seats for once. I kept expecting them to walk in before the service began. Five minutes passed. Then ten. Still no sign of them. Then the sound system came on and the service started.

In that moment, it suddenly dawned on me that the service was continuing without Elder Akintunde in his usual position. I leaned over to the pastor seated beside me and quietly asked why our beloved Elder was absent.

“Oh, you didn’t hear?” he replied softly. “Elder fell ill suddenly a few weeks ago and has gone to be with the Lord.”

I sat there in shock.

Throughout the service, my eyes kept drifting back to that seat. No, it was no longer vacant. It has been occupied by someone else. The choir sang, prayers were offered, announcements were made, and life continued.

And that is one of life’s humbling truths: no matter how faithful, committed, influential, or dependable we become, one day the service will go on without us. The office will continue. The meetings will hold. The seats we occupied will eventually be filled by someone else.

So live humbly. Show kindness while you can. Love people deeply. Do not let pride deceive you into thinking you will always be here or always be in control. At the end of life, what will matter most is not how important we seemed, but how meaningful our lives were to God and to people. One day, the service will start without every one of us. Don't be another mama Monica.

“So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.” — Psalm 90:12 (KJV)

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

12 Wraps of Eba

 

I was thinking this morning.... I walked into our restaurant for lunch recently and joined the short queue. It usually would take 3 to 5 minutes to get served, but this day it was taking longer. What's going on, I wondered as I looked at my wristwatch. I broke out of the queue and walked forward to see who was holding everyone back. What I saw shocked me. The first person in line, a lady, was virtually being served every single food item on display. I looked at her tray, looked at her, and whispered, “Jesu.” As I quietly walked back to my position on the queue, I remembered my days in Uniben.

It was my second year in the university. I was residing at Hall 2 boys’ hostel at the time, and the bukateria was not too far from the hostel. It was a hot but quiet afternoon when I walked across to have lunch. I ordered my regular two wraps of eba with a mixture of okro and egusi soups. I was yet to settle down to eat when I heard there was a competition in the next bukateria between two students on who could eat the most wraps of eba. I finished my meal and went back to my room. Less than an hour later, I stepped out to see groups of people discussing how the winner had consumed an astonishing 12 wraps of eba. He won the competition but almost lost his life because he had to be rushed to the teaching hospital for his system to be flushed. He was dying from overfeeding.

That experience, along with age, has taught me about the danger of over-indulgence. I remember again the inaugural lecture topic of a professor during my days in Uniben: “They are as sick that surfeit with too much as they that starve with nothing.” Sadly, we have too many sick people at both ends of the spectrum in Nigeria. Too many are starving, while those who have abundance are harming themselves through excess. As we say, rat wey die on top bag of rice no be hunger kill am, na overfeeding or overexcitement.

In all things, balance is key. Life is not sustained by excess but by moderation, wisdom, and gratitude. Whether in food, wealth, or opportunities, knowing when “enough is enough” is a discipline that preserves both health and purpose. May we learn to appreciate provision without abusing it, and to extend compassion to those who lack what we take for granted. “Do not join those who drink too much wine or gorge themselves on meat, for drunkards and gluttons become poor, and drowsiness clothes them in rags.” Prov 23:20–21

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy New Month!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

FROM BORROWED ROBES TO BORROWED LEGS

 

I was thinking this morning... Yesterday, I attended the wedding of a young woman I’ve known for over 15 years. She worked where I did, serving diligently across all levels, and she is also a devoted member of my church. She has always been known for her calm nature, consistency, and reliability. For years, I wondered why she remained unmarried. So when she finally shared the news of her wedding, I was genuinely happy for her.

Life, however, remains full of mysteries. Many good people struggle to attain simple blessings, while others who seem less deserving appear to get them with ease. Why does it happen that way?

With time, I’ve come to understand something important: some people enter marriage dressed in borrowed robes and surrounded by borrowed glamour, only to exit just as quickly. Like we used to say in Warri, they “borrow leg” and run. For many, getting married is not the challenge; staying married is.

It may be easy to attract a spouse, but do you have the character to sustain the union? There’s a pidgin saying: “Eggroll wey no get egg na puff-puff e be.” Many present themselves as “eggrolls,” but there’s no real substance inside, just appearance. In truth, they are puff-puff.

Today, we see a rising rate of marital breakdowns in Nigeria. It raises serious questions about our values and what we now consider important. While some leave marriages in the name of protecting their mental health, many unions collapse because of pride, stubbornness, and the attitude of “I no go gree.”

At the end of the day, the size of the wedding or the glamour of the celebration means very little. What truly matters is this: does the couple have substance? Is there depth, patience, humility, and love, or is it all just outward show?

Before seeking the beauty of a wedding, build the strength of a marriage. Character, not ceremony, is what sustains love. Let us focus less on appearances and more on becoming partners who are prepared, grounded, and genuine. Then and only then can we say “What God has joined together, let no one separate.” — Mark 10:9

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

RUNNING ON EMPTY

 

I was thinking this morning… Yesterday, I joined my church group for a street crusade to share the good news. We mounted the public address system on the open-back truck, and a generator was loaded to power the equipment. After the usual “testing, testing the microphone,” we set out for what was meant to be a two-hour mobile rally.

Barely twenty minutes in, the loudspeakers went silent. Power gone. On enquiry, we were told the generator had run out of petrol. What?

How does someone assigned to power a two- to three-hour outreach not check fuel levels beforehand? That single oversight turned energy into embarrassment and momentum into silence.

As I was still reflecting on it, I remembered a recent funeral I attended. Midway through the journey, the hearse carrying the coffin ran out of fuel. Everything stopped. Mourners waited in awkward disbelief while the driver hurried off to find petrol.

It almost sounded unreal. An occasion as solemn as paying last respects to a loved one, yet something as basic as fuel was overlooked by the undertaker. Agreement reached, payment made but no preparation for completion. Chai.

That’s when it struck me. This is how many people live. We start strong, full of energy and confidence, but fail to prepare for the journey ahead. We chase goals without planning sustainability, build relationships without nurturing them, and make commitments without discipline.

And along the way, we run out. Out of energy. Out of patience. Out of consistency. Life is not just about starting; it’s about finishing well. The small, unseen preparations often make the biggest difference. What looks like a minor detail can determine whether you succeed or stall halfway.

Before you begin anything, pause and ask yourself: do I have what it takes to sustain this? Because starting well is good, but finishing well is everything. Luke 14:28 says “For which of you, intending to build a tower, sitteth not down first, and counteth the cost, whether he have sufficient to finish it?”

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

THE PRAYER OF AGUR

 

I was thinking this morning.... Days ago, I was in mourning because a good friend lost the daughter. It was a devastating time for everyone that was close to them. Since I was still coming to terms with the loss of my dad, the passing of this young lady threw me again into deep introspection about life. I was still in this mood when I got an invitation to attend an Easter comedy show. I imagined how anything could make me laugh at this period and decided to turn down the invitation.

Everyone prays to be in merry mood, but it is foolishness to perpetually be in that mood. I have learnt not to pass by any opportunity to mourn with the bereaved because the lessons in the house of mourning can never be found in the house of feasting. No wonder Ecclesiastes 7:2 says "It is better to enter a house of mourning than a house of feasting, since death is the end of every man, and the living should take this to heart."

Similarly, I have always prayed, worked and still working hard to be wealthy. I grew up the hard way and always wanted to live the soft life. My first time on going on a cruise gave me a glimpse of what it means to live the life of the rich and famous. But I have come to realise that while I have enjoyed seasons of abundance, my seasons of lack has taught me greater lessons.

I learnt recently that both poverty and riches are trials. A good man passes both tests. It was Agur's attempt to avoid both trials that made him pray in Proverbs 30:8-9 "Give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with the bread that is my portion. Otherwise, I may have too much and deny You, saying, ‘Who is the LORD?’ Or I may become poor and steal, profaning the name of my God."

Most people in life will experience one or both trials, but not everyone is passing the test. Some started poor, became wealthy and became unrecognisable in their insensitivity. They failed. Some faced the trial of poverty and used it as excuse to steal, prostitute or kill. They failed.

I am still contemplating if I should adopt the prayer of Agur, but for now all I can do I put my hand on my head and say "O God, I beggeth thee."

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

SEASONS CHANGE - HOLD ON

 

I was thinking this morning… A few days ago, I decided to check on a few friends in Canada to find out how they were doing. My first call was to one in Ontario. After exchanging pleasantries, I asked what the weather was like, and I was told it was sunny, with temperatures around 17 degrees Celsius.

Minutes later, I called another in a different province and discovered they were still in the thick of winter, with temperatures at minus 13 degrees Celsius. Same country, different experiences.

A few moments after that, I reflected on how both locations entered the winter season around the same time. Yet months later, while one was already in spring and preparing for summer, the other was still enduring the harshness of winter. Life is in seasons. While almost everyone goes through different seasons, how long those seasons last varies from person to person.

However, one thing I have come to realize is this: when I eventually step into my summer, the sun shines so brightly that some people assume I have been basking in it all my life. The rush of favour becomes so evident that they have no idea how long I endured the winter.

It is not how long one stays in winter that determines how bright the sun will shine in summer. Some experience a much brighter sunshine than others. No wonder the pidgin proverb says, “Palmwine nor smell reach faeces, but naim fly dey rush pass.”

Easter reminds us that after winter comes spring and summer. After Good Friday comes Resurrection Sunday. As Psalm 30:5 says: “For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.”

So if you are in your winter right now, don’t give up. Don’t lose your faith. Don’t judge your life by the present season. Winter is not your destination—it is only a phase. Hold on. Your spring is forming. Your summer is certain. And when your morning finally breaks, the same people who saw your struggle will stand in awe of your shine.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Easter!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

BECOMING AN FBI

 

I was thinking this morning… I grew up fully committed to being an FBI — a Full-Blooded Itsekiri. I carried the identity with pride. If you asked me where I was from, I would answer boldly. If anything touched my roots, I would defend it with passion.

But here is the irony… I hardly dressed like an Itsekiri man. I wasn’t fluent in speaking the Itsekiri language. The culture I claimed so strongly, I barely lived out.

Yet in recent months, something has been shifting inside me. I now find myself drawn to wearing the Itsekiri attire — not out of obligation, but out of genuine appreciation. The same outfit I once overlooked now feels like a badge of honour. And it made me pause and ask: Why did it take me this long?

As I reflected, an African proverb came to mind: “Cow wey dey in a hurry to go Europe go come back as corned beef.” In simple terms — when you rush away from your roots chasing what looks more attractive, you may lose your essence in the process.

Identity is deeper than declaration. It’s one thing to claim who you are; it’s another thing to live it. Culture is not just in the mouth — it is in your lifestyle, your expression, your daily choices. Many of us are proud of where we come from, but we have not taken time to experience it.

Today, wearing the Itsekiri attire feels different. It is no longer just clothing — it is connection. It is not just fashion — it is identity expressed. And maybe, just maybe, the journey was necessary… Because sometimes, you have to grow away a little — to truly appreciate where you come from.

Jeremiah 6:16 (NIV) says “Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls.”

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey