Sunday 24 June 2018

Left Turns Are Accident Prone

Left Turns Are Prone to Accident
I was thinking this morning... about turning left. Recently, I was driving in a city I had never driven before and was being guided by a GPS. As I hurried towards the airport to catch my flight, the GPS keeps telling me to take the next right turn and followed by the next left turn. I kept shuffling from one end of the road to another and then it became too much for me and I missed my next exit. It took me almost 30mins to get back on track. Thank God I did not miss my flight. I later wondered whether it was possible to make only right turns, as it sure would have been a lot easier for me. As I reflected on that experience, I understood why UPS drivers never turn left.

Really? You might be thinking. Why won't UPS drivers turn left? Could the reason be related to the belief in Nigeria that it connotes bad omen to hand at item over with your left hand? I think not. According to Travel and Leisure Magazine, the UPS delivery truck drivers avoid left turns not because of some superstitions involving packages and cross-traffic turns, but it's actually the result of a complex mathematical problem equation that has saved UPS millions of dollars. In countries like Nigeria where cars drive on the right-hand side of the road, the UPS vehicle routing software has determined that turning left is a waste of time and money. It established that although reducing cross-traffic turns may increase time spent to get to a destination, it reduces chances of an accident and eliminates time spent waiting for traffic to make a turn (which wastes fuel). Hmm!!!
It is true that life is full of turns and cross roads, but why do we make so many left turns and cross-traffic turns in life if they are accident prone? As I pondered on this, I discovered that the MFA (Master of Fine Art) program at George Mason University, USA has a class called 'The Left Turn', where short stories and novels are often crafted around the left turn: that moment when you take a seemingly unexpected turn.

If you think about it, the life of a Nigerian is filled with left turn. Only a few weeks ago, our Super Eagles was the toast of the world. They were coasting on a straight road, accident-free, when their Nike-designed World Cup kit was voted as best in a Sky Sports poll and on the eve of the tournament, their traveling outfit got everyone talking, with CNN concluding that they were the most stylish team at the mundial. We had won the World Cup fashion parade. Their first crossroad was against Croatia and they were expected to turn right. But then a psychic pig had predicted that Nigeria was going to be among the last four teams in the tournament and the players probably believed and decided to relax. Therefore, we wobbled like Iwobi, fell like Moses and chose to make a left turn when we scored an own goal. At the end of the first round of matches, the Super eagles had crashed and were rated third worst after Saudi Arabia and Panama. Ouch!!! The psychic pig was virtually slaughtered as the Super Eagles approached the next crossroad against Iceland. This time they turned right and the ice melted. I wondered, if UPS drivers never turn left, why should we?

You have been a faithful spouse for 15 years and God has blessed your marriage with 3 lovely girls. You think you are at a crossroad, and you chose to turn left, a seemingly unexpected turn, by engaging in an adulterous relationship because you think it could be a shorter distance to the destination of having a male child. Left turns are prone to accident, hence UPS drivers never turn left. You are a firm believer in God and has been faithful in service, until recently when you decided to take a left turn by falling for a strange doctrine. Now no one understands what you believe in anymore. UPS drivers never turn left, neither should you.

Truth is, as you coast on in life and make right turns, there will be many 'psychic pigs' and 'broken GPS' that will come along to convince you to make a left turn and crash your vehicle of life. I beg you, like the UPS driver, never turn left because Matthew 24:11 says, 'And many false prophets shall arise and shall deceive many.' Do not be deceived and never turn left.

Happy Sunday.

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey.

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