Saturday, 23 November 2019

Abusive Relationships

Non-existent  Infrastructure

I was thinking this morning.... about abusive relationships. During the recently concluded Women in Management, Business and Public Service (WIMBIZ) 18th Annual conference in Lagos early November, there was a debate about whether ambitious Nigerians should remain in Nigeria, weather the storm and join hands to build the country from within. Or travel out, build their careers and come home where possible, to help lift the nation. The debate was electrifying, with one of the ladies arguing in favour of leaving explaining that being a Nigerian living in Nigeria is like being in an abusive relationship. According to her, the smart advice for anyone in such a relationship is to leave, because too many have died having decided to remain and rough it out. Hmm!!!


I am aware this debate has been on for a long time now, albeit in the minds of most Nigerians and at smaller circles. As I weighed in on it, my mind drifted to the state of the road to my office. A federal road that has been in a terrible shape since we moved in exactly 8 years ago. For the better part of each year, particularly during the rainy season, the road is not passable with commuters sometimes spending hours for a 2km distance. When I considered how much tax the users of the road pay, I could only but imagine their feeling like a wife in an abusive marriage. To add salt to injury, then came the breaking news by Punch Newspaper on Thursday that 'Senate okays 7.5% hike in VAT, 6 other taxes.' Wow! Further squeezing the masses in a nation of non-existent infrastructures? Living in Nigeria as a Nigerian really feels like being in an abusive relationship. 

As I scratched deeper, I saw a country where the simplest of rights are infringed upon. The recent elections in Bayelsa and Kogi came to mind. This is a country where both the right of the electorate and the candidates are violated. First, a woman leader of a political party was burnt to death like we are in a war? Then I heard the lamentations of the governorship candidate representing ANPP in Bayelsa state. He had said, 'How can my running mate (Deputy governor candidate) be from Nembe and voted in Nembe, yet our party had zero votes?' Chai!!! They stole the people's votes including his. Believe me, with what this nation has done to these people, they will feel like wives in abusive marriages. Don't be shocked if they, with their families, decide to walk out of the marriage. 

The truth is, a person in an abusive relationship can never give his best to the marriage. That must have been how Dr Osatohamen Osewengie felt and decided to leave his job as a lecturer at College of Education, Ekiadolor, Edo State and relocated to the USA. Today, he is one of the world's best physicists. He manufactures drones for the American Army. He resides in Texas, USA and has 7 Master's degrees & at least 3 doctorates. Naija!!! See how you are chasing away your most virtuous spouses.

The way I am feeling, I can keep ranting like a frustrated wife, but it's time to shut up before they consider my words 'Hate speech.' But before I sign out, do you know that the most abused person in any relationship in the world is a Nigerian, living in Nigeria and also an Arsenal fan? Chai!!!! It is bad enough to be a Nigerian living in Nigeria but to now be an Arsenal fan at the same time is an emotional, psychological, physical, mental and sometimes spiritual torture. For me, it's high time to take a decision on these abusive partners afterall Proverbs 21:19 says 'Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife.'

Happy Sunday.

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey.

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