Saturday, 21 March 2020

Abeg, What is Her Occupation?




I was thinking this morning..... about mothers. I am so doing because today a number of churches are celebrating Mothers Day, though the usual church service is not holding in some states due to the Coronavirus scare. As I got up this morning to get ready for service, I recalled filling an application form recently and was required to enter my occupation and that of my wife and children. While it is always easy to write 'HSE Practitioner' and 'Student' for myself and children respectively, I always struggle with what to write for my wife. Not because she has no occupation but because I am not sure of what is most appropriate. 

While the dictionary meaning for 'Occupation' is 'a job or a profession,' to me it simply means what occupies your time or what takes the most of your time each day. It is this definition that is at the root of my confusion. I reflected 10 years back when we first moved to Lagos, did a mental review of my wife's daily routine and asked myself, 'what really is my wife's occupation?' My wife studied Educational Management and has been deploying the knowledge to helping kids eat right and stay healthy. She visits schools to create awareness and is involved with advocacy with the government, CBOs and NGOs. She sometimes spends weeks planning for an educational outreach, making me conclude that maybe her occupation is 'Educationist.'

But then I recall she wakes up hours before us all and on her knees prays God to protect her family. She spends another hour organizing and facilitating the family devotion and depending on the day of the week, heads to the Women's fellowship where she is the Pastor-in-charge. As I considered how much time she puts into meeting the spiritual needs of the family and other women, I am wondering 'is her occupation a Pastor?'

As I dug in, I remembered that after the prayers each morning, while my only task is to bath myself and get dressed for the office, my wife baths the children, packs their school bags and sees them off to school. While we all are away, she cleans the house, does the laundry and then it's time to go pick the children from school. She helps them with their homework and listen to their every story. As I considered this, I am wondering, is her occupation a 'Homemaker?'

I know what her occupation is, I thought, as my mind drifted to her delicacies. She prepares breakfast ranging from akara and oat to pepper soup and yam. Scrumptious lunch from starch and banga soup to ogbono soup served with wheat. Smokey jollof rice served with dodo and peppered snail brought smiles to the faces of the children. As my mouth began to water, I am tempted to say that her occupation is 'World class Caterer.'

Someone please help me out. What do I write as my wife's occupation? When my children argue, she settles the dispute like a judge. When they play rough and bruise their heels, she applies ointment and treat them like a doctor. When their uniform and pyjamas is torn, she picks up the needle and thread and mend them like a tailor. I am really confused, what is my wife's occupation?. 

What do I write as my wife's occupation in the application form? An educationist, a pastor, caterer, doctor or a tailor? When Hilary Clinton was to write her occupation in her biodata, she wrote 'Wife, Mother, Attorney and Politician.' I know why now. My wife spends so much time doing different things and effortlessly runs the home. Yet, some will say mothers without a paid employment have no occupation. How sad and how wrong. How can one person handle all these tasks and still find time to be the emotional support for us their husbands. I don't know what the most appropriate occupation is, but the next time I am filling a form and faced with the question of occupation for my wife, I am tempted to write 'Superwoman.' It is only a superwoman that can achieve so much in the same 24 hours we all have. No wonder Proverbs 31 calls her a virtuous woman, because her price is far above rubies.

This is a tribute to all wives and mothers who give so much to make their home a happy place. In spite of the Coronavirus scare that has kept many churches closed today, I still wish everyone Happy Mothers Day.

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey. 

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