Sunday 26 November 2023



I was thinking this morning.... A few days ago, DJ Cuppy, daughter of billionaire businessman Femi Otedola, created traffic on the Social Media platform X when she wrote 'Jollof on the Jet with Assaulted Meat.' There were a flurry of comments from fans, with some criticising her for writing 'assaulted' instead of 'assorted,' and others defending her. One particular comment, however, left me in stitches. The person had written 'Whoever assaulted the meat should be arrested immediately.' Nigeria is truly a nation of cruise.

While I am not interested in who is right or wrong, I pondered on the dilemma of assorted and assaulted meat, with the former being healthy and the later, unhealthy. When different parts of an animal is properly prepared for consumption, it is 'assorted meat.' If it is, however, prepared in an unsafe manner not fit for consumption, then it becomes 'assaulted meat.'

The other day I went to the food section of a superstore to get food for lunch. The counter was laden with colourful and appealing delicacies. I was particularly drawn to a dish of bright red and very thick cowleg. I ordered a couple along with my rice. On getting home, I struggled to bite a piece of the cowleg and had to abandon it wondering how any part of a cow can be that thick. It wasn't until the next day that my colleague revealed that a chemical called formaldehyde is what some use to make the cowleg that thick. Chai! I thought I bought assorted meat, not knowing it was 'assaulted meat.'

You visit a restaurant and are served goat meat peppersoup that is prepared like fast food. The meal is served with all orishirishi including abodi, liver, kidney, brokotor etc. You take a bite and the meat is so tender. You feel good oblivious that the caterers had used paracetamol, as tenderiser, to cook the goatmeat. You thought you were eating assorted meat? Usai! it was assaulted meat.

The consumption of 'assaulted food' is behind the recent rise in organ failure and other illnesses in Nigeria. Be mindful of where and what you eat. Merchants of death are all around posing as farmers, traders and caterers. They excuse their evil act with the economic hardship in the land forgetting the words of Matthew 18:7 - Woe to that man by whom offence comes! No peace for anyone assaulting our meat.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

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