NA OUR MAMA BE THIS O

 

I was thinking this morning..... It was usual in Warri to hear senior citizens being called Papa lolo (with the lolo pronounced low-low) and mama lolo. There have been diverse views as to the meaning of papa lolo or mama lolo. While some believe it means an old man or woman that misbehaves, others believe it meant a funky old man or woman. Whatever the meaning, the husband of Fanny wasn't taking it. Who exactly is Fanny's husband?

He was a funky senior citizen in Warri, and his wife, called Fanny, was also well advanced in age. As he walked with swagger into his compound, his children would hail him shouting 'papa lolo.' On a certain day, he just couldn't take it as a compliment anymore and needed to return the insult. As they shouted 'papa lolo,' he responded, 'na Fanny be lolo.' A second hailing of 'papa lolo' was returned with 'na your mama be lolo.'

It was this story that came to my mind when news broke of the incident involving the students of Delta State College of Nursing Science at Asaba. The event’s Master of Ceremony had introduced the first lady by singing the song 'Na our mama be this o,'  and the students responded in unison, 'Na your mama be this,' meaning 'This is your mother,' refusing to accept the designation.

Just like Fanny's husband sees 'papa lolo' as an insult, so many Nigerians have interpreted 'na your mama be this o,' to be an insult. It won't come as a surprise to a typical Waffarian because one common insult to throw at someone is 'Your father,' or 'Your mama.' How simply saying 'your mama' amounts to an insult is still a mystery to me. However, pikin wey say im mama no fine dey use style call im papa blind man.

To me, my mama na my mama. You can't force your mother on me, just like I can't expect you to accept my mother like I do. One thing that is true, though, is the proverb that says, 'No food for lazy man, no be for person wey im mama get bukka.' A mother’s love and compassion for her child cannot be faulted. So, a child that is not proud of his mother, naim know wetin dey do am. Isaiah 49:15 says, 'Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb?' Respect and show love to women, be it a babe or mama lolo. Happy Mothers Day to my young wife, my mum and every mother in and around my life. Without you, life for get as e be. Truly, na our mama be this o.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Mothers Day!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

LIFE NA RODEO

 

I was thinking this morning..... Days ago, a young lady who recently got a job with a multinational company came to me for mentoring. As she unveiled her aspirations and expectations, I dropped nuggets of advice to guide her in her career. A number of times, I was tempted to use some proverbs in buttressing my points. However, every time I started quoting a proverb, the Warri version jumped in front like a spoilt child.

She asked about what it takes to get to the pinacle of her career. I told her about patience. As I made the point about being patient and that good things would always result from diligence, the proverb about the patient dog came to mind. I started by saying, 'The patient dog...' But before I could add 'eats the fattest bone,' the Warriness jumped in and said 'the patient dog.... na hungry go kill am.' At this point, I wasn't sure if my advice to her was to be patient or aggressive.

As we continued the conversation, she asked what else it takes to be successful in the corporate world. I told her about focus, competence, and the determination to succeed. As she wrote down the key points, I concluded by saying, 'Na determination make okada overtake trailer for road.'

She smiled, paused as if to soak in the message, and then asked about the pitfalls to avoid. I told her not to miss an opportunity to learn because we are lifelong learners. Her facial expressions revealed she didn't get the point. I paused and then said, 'Na over confidence make February no complete.' The message immediately sank. Be confident in yourself, but beware of overconfidence.

As we rounded off that session, I asked if she had any other question, to which she responded in the negative. At that point, I told her to focus on building the right relationships both with her supervisors and peers but warned against putting all her trust on people. I had said, 'Forget trust. If trust dey, water nor for boil fish.'

As she left my office, I soliloquised on all I had said and concluded that life is like a rodeo. It is an exhibition in which, like a cowboy, you show your skills at riding the wild horse (broncos). Whether you will succeed will depend on your skills and God. Ephesians 6:13 says '...having done all, to stand.'

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

THE DANCE OF LOVE

 

I was thinking this morning..... Days ago, a friend told me that a mutual friend had separated from her husband after about 10 years of marriage. I was surprised because the couple were successful and looked good together. In my surprise, I did a mental review and was shocked by the number of separated or divorced couples I know. Wow! Why are people no longer fighting for their relationships? Why are we no longer committed to the dance of love?

As I mused, I remembered the romantic dance of Western Parotia. It is one of the most gifted dancers among birds. It holds itself to a very high standard for courtship to be perfect. It carefully cleans up fallen leaves one by one and polishes the branch the female bird will land using snake skin, making them shine brightly. To make the courtship area even more attractive, it carefully finds some brightly coloured nuts and decorates the surrounding with them. It then practices the courtship dance, from the extent of its wing spread to the movements of its feet, all to present the best version of itself to the object of its affection. When its effort eventually pays off by attracting a female bird of paradise, it transforms into a graceful gentleman among birds. Before the performance begins, it gracefully bows deeply to the female bird. Then, an exquisite performance officially starts.

Like Western Parotia, most of us danced this dance during courtship. We went the extra mile to prepare for a prospect to visit. Yet after marriage, we completely stopped dancing. We became stiff and cold. We all need some romantic advice from Western Parotia. 

Like Western Parotia, if we could go the extra mile to woo the object of our affection before marriage, why aren't we going the extra mile to make the marriage work? If we could be patient enough for our spouse to accept us before we tied the knot, why are we so impatient and intolerant after marriage?

Marriage is not a prison. It should be a sanctuary of love and mirth. Like Western Parotia, dance the dance of love for your spouse. It doesn't matter what type of dance. Just dance. It doesn't have to be perfect. Just make the effort. Songs of Solomon 6:13 says, "Dance, dance, girl of Shulam. Let us watch you as you dance."

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

THE FORCE OF BLOOD

 

I was thinking this morning..... After my secondary school, I went to spend the long holiday with an uncle and his family while waiting for my admission to the university. Being a very successful civil servant, they lived a much softer life compared to my home. I was a good nephew, waking up early to clean the house and wash the car. After months of living with them, I expected in my naive mind that I have earned what it takes to be equal to my cousins in the eyes of my uncle. I was so wrong.

One weekend, my uncle was decluttering and brought out this nice lace shokoto he hadn't worn since his younger years. Because my cousins already had so many clothes and I, almost nothing, I expected that my uncle would do me the honours. Alas, he gave the lace to his son who doesn't need it. I was really pained and couldn't understand why he would bypass me that really needs it. I was only 15 years old. Years later after I had children of my own, I did exactly what my uncle did. As I considered the reason why, I discovered we were driven by the force of blood.

In the Netflix movie, Yellowstone, Rip, that started living with the John Dutton family since he was a boy was suddenly moved out of the foreman's house to the bunkhouse because Kayce, John's son wanted to live there. When Beth, John's daughter, reminded him that Rip does not deserve to be treated that way because he looks at him like a father, he responded 'But I am not his father, honey. I'm Kayce's father.' The force of blood at work.

We know of so many religious leaders that started their ministries with fellow labourers in the vineyard. These brethren laboured with them from the begining until the ministry became great. Many years later, they side step their co-labourers and will hand over the reins of power to their children at the expense of those that have served them all their lives. Please do not judge them, it is the force of blood at work.

Why would a man find it easy to will his properties to a truant child rather than a relative or stranger that has served him all his life and call him dad? The force of blood. What is in man that makes us willing to give our all to our children? We always say blood is thicker than water, but not when the water is frozen. The connection of children to parents is stronger than we think. Proverbs 13:22.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

THE SWEET DISTRACTION

 

I was thinking this morning... Last week, I was invited as a special guest at the Interhouse Sports and Fun Day of Crestland International School, Port-Harcourt. It was, indeed, an all-round fun day.

Of all the activities, the lollipop race struck home for me. In this race, designed for children in pre-nursery, each child was given a lollipop a few minutes before the race began. At the blast of the whistle, the children were asked to run the 15-meter lap while licking and savouring the sweet. All four children started the race strong, licking the candy and running.

Less than 5m into the race, one of the children could no longer combine the enjoyment with running. He stopped running, and with his hand to his mouth, he held the lollipop stick and just enjoyed himself. The other three runners focused on the race. Before my little friend realised it, the other three runners had got to the finish line. He lost the race because of a sweet distraction.

I remember commencing my doctorate programme immediately after my Masters in 1994. Less than a year into the programme, I got a job and started earning real money for the first time in my life. I decided to put my schooling on hold, promising to return in a couple of years. Well, that 2-year hiatus was 30 years ago last year. To me, making money was a sweet distraction from achieving my dream of being called a doctor.

There are many young girls who started their education strong and on track to getting a degree. Then they met a smashing young man. One thing led to another, and they got pregnant and dropped out of school. Most will promise themselves that after having the baby, they would return to complete their studies. Ten years after, they are still the compound mama Iyabo. Their dream was scuttled by a sweet distraction.

In the race of life, focus is key. Everyone is faced with a sweet distraction ever so often, where you could either enjoy your lollipop or continue running. Sometimes, though, you could have the rare privilege of running and savouring your lollipop. Whatever your situation might be, focus on the prize. Hebrews 12:2 gave us a perfect example of how to avoid the sweet distraction

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey