Sunday 3 March 2019

Ijebu Garri Syndrome

Ijebu Garri Syndrome

I was thinking this morning..... about Ijebu garri syndrome. Why is Ijebu garri on my mind this morning and not Itsekiri garri? Could it be because the Itsekiris are known to eat starch (Usin) more than garri? Anyway, as my colleagues and I  were driving back from lunch last Wednesday, the issue of the Presidential election results came up. As I listened to their views of what transpired, one said, 'The total votes of Party X is like Ijebu garri.' As I tried to deocde what she meant, she added. 'the number of votes rises as it moves from states to the INEC collation centre in Abuja.' My God! What an audacious deployment of simile.
As I smiled all the way back to the office, I couldn't shake off the Ijebu garri simile from my mind. Everyone familiar with the physical behavior of Ijebu garri will know that it is only a matter of time, Ijebu garri must rise when water is added to it. Truly, if you know you know. I thought within me, isn't the better part of the Nigeria elections like Ijebu garri? Think about this, in 2015, the number of political parties with candidates on the ballot for Presidency was 14 and now in 2019 it increased to 73. Tell me, what increases so fast within a short time, if not Ijebu garri? The increase is so comical that the acronym of one of the parties on the ballot is 'A.' Believe me, I have never seen a single letter acronym or a one word political party. This can only come about because of the 'Ijebu garri syndrome.'
Ijebu garri can rise sha, just like the electoral violence in Nigeria. In 2015, apart from the deaths caused by Boko Haram attacks, there were minimal deaths on election day but 4 years later, when we should be making progress, 47 persons lost their lives, according to the Situation Room. Sad but not strange because now we know that it is the Ijebu garri syndrome at play.
Thank God the Presidential and National Assembly elections are over and certificates issued. I now look forward to the Ijebu garri syndrome being exhibited positively in all aspects of the Nigerian life, particularly those affecting the masses. Starting with the electricity situation, we have only seen a modest increase of electricity generation and distribution in the last four years. Now we need the Ijebu garri syndrome to catch up with South Africa who currently generates about 51,000 megawatts. We also need this syndrome in the education and economic sectors. Things must change like Ijebu garri in the next four years, otherwise it would be a shame. If we can apply the Ijebu garri syndrome in elections, we must also do so in governance, after all, according to the late comedian, Jaguar, 'What is good for the Jews, is also good for Uganda.' Smiles...
It is unfortunate that instead of Nigeria to rise and shine as commanded in Isaiah 60:1, our leaders have chosen to allow negativity rise like Ijebu garri. May God help us.
Happy Sunday.
......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey.

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