THE JOLLOF RICE PRINCIPLE

I was thinking this morning.... About 10 years ago, I was in charge of inducting all new staff and visitors at my organisation's head office. The implication was that, for years, I knew everyone around. Those years, when I walked into the staff canteen, everyone greeted me like I was Davido entering into the reception hall in Miami.

Years later, I moved higher and completely left the induction to a younger member of my team. Despite that, I can still boast of recognising over 90% of people at the location. Then came the COVID-19 lockdown years that birthed the new age of virtual working. I had not been in the staff canteen for years and decided to do so one afternoon. As I stepped into the expansive hall with at least a hundred people already having lunch, I was expecting to make my usual rockstar entrance. That day, I got the shock of my life. Every face was strange. Not one person recognised who I was. I collected my food and sat down like a prodigal son.

As I ate, I wondered what had happened. Am I in the wrong location? How is it possible that no one recognised me? Who are all these people? When did they join this organisation? There were so many questions on my mind. But then, it occurred to me that it wasn't a sudden change. The organisation had been employing new persons while others were leaving one person at a time.

It is the same principle in life and is called the Jollof rice principle, derived from the pidgin English proverb that says, "Jollof rice wey dey bottom pot today go dey on top cooler tomorrow." Everyday, someone is dying, while another is born. It's only a matter of time before every face would be new. The new or young colleague at the bottom of the food chain today could be the king of the jungle tomorrow. Life changes, one person at a time.

If, therefore, life is changing, one person at a time, why are we not humble? The organisation wherein you are acting like a demigod today, come back after 10 years, you will be a stranger. A celebrity today would be unknown tomorrow. The 'Pharoah that knew Joseph' will not be on the throne forever. You know why? Life regenerates. Life changes, one person at a time. Jollof rice wey dey bottom pot today go dey on top cooler tomorrow. The one wey dey on top cooler today na im go first end up for toilet. Psalms 75:7 comes to mind. Join me to pray to stay humble.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

KOKORO NO KAZE

 

I was thinking this morning.... Days ago, I walked into the staff canteen with a colleague. As we stood on the short queue waiting to be served, my colleague said, "Have you observed how almost everyone in this canteen is wearing a jacket? Is it that the AC has been adjusted to be extremely cold, or the recent heavy rains made it seem so?" I looked around and truly saw so many people wearing fleece and other jackets that made some look like Eskimos in the North Pole.

As I watched these colleagues walk back to their seats, tray in hand with all sorts of orishirishi, to provide food for their bodies, I got thinking. We give so much attention to providing food and avoiding cold for our bodies but do very little to prevent a cold of the soul. In Japan, a cold of the soul is described as "kokoro no kaze." While Kokoro no kaze generally refers to mild depression, I prefer the literal meaning - cold of the soul.

Too many people around the world are suffering from colds of the soul (Kokoro no kaze). Imagine the other day, I walked into a supermarket to pick a few things. Just a few items that couldn't fill a disposal plastic bag and the cashier said N32k. I looked at the queue behind me and looked at the young lady. With a confused look, I asked the young lady if she added the bill of others on the queue. She laughed and confimed it was only my bill. 'Jesu!' was the only word that came out of my mouth.

As I walked out of the supermarket, I wondered how people survive in Nigeria. Yet, we see less than 1% of the population loot our common wealth and recklessly flaunt it, while millions die from hunger. They don't even pretend that they care, and I wonder why. Now I know that they are suffering from Kokoro no kaze - cold of the soul. When parents sell their babies to survive and children use parents for money rituals, the root cause is Kokoro no kaze - cold of the soul.

It is foolish to pay attention to the food for the body and less to the food for the soul. Yes. It's okay to quickly react to external cold by covering up, but we must be urgent to stop the cold of the soul (Kokoro no kaze). It is better to have a warm soul and a cold body than a warm body and a cold soul. Do all within your power to avoid Kokoro no kaze (cold of the soul) because it is the kokoro (worm/insect) eating your life away. Matthew 24:12 says, "And because lawlessness will abound, the love of many will grow cold."

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

HOW WE AVOIDED A PLANE CRASH

 

I was thinking this morning.... it was a bright, sunny day as our aircraft commenced its descent into the Nnamdi Azikiwe International Airport, Abuja. The pilot had announced that we would be landing soon and the seatbelt signs turned on. I adjusted myself and my seatbelt in preparation for landing.

As I opened the window blind to my left, I looked out the window to scan and enjoy the view of the suburbs of the Federal Capital City. As I did, I observed a black feature, just above the rocky mountains close to the Abuja airport. I initially thought it was a bird because of its size. But as we descended a lot more, this object got bigger and clearer. Yes, it was an aircraft also flying towards the Abuja airport.

I kept staring at this aircraft as we continued to descend. I got a bit curious observing that this aircraft was flying at the same speed and a fixed angle from our aircraft. I was certain that both aircrafts could not have been cleared to land at the same time on the single runway.

I kept observing, keen on seeing which of the aircrafts will land first. One kilometre from touchdown, this aircraft was still approaching, but this time getting closer to us. What does this pilot think he is doing? I hope he is sane? I wondered about the pilot of the black aircraft. Well, even if he is mad, I was sure the pilot of our aircraft was sane. Our pilot is not blind and must have seen this rogue aircraft.

500m, 200m, 100m to touchdown, and this rogue aircraft was getting precariously close to us. Why is everyone calm? Am I the only one seeing this aircraft? 50m, 30m, 10m. Oh my God! It's going to crash into our aircraft. Just when I was about to scream Jesus!!! I looked again as this rogue aircraft merged with ours at touchdown. Oops! It was our shadow, a reflecting of our aircraft, all along. Phew!!! I sunk into my chair in relief.

There are so many people who are afraid of their shadows. They always feel someone is coming for them, not realising it was their shadow. While for some, the unseen shadow truly portends demonic oppression, for others, that ominous shadow is their ignorance. Light is the solution to shadows. Position yourself rightly before the Son and all shadows shall disappear (John 8:12).

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy New Month!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

I SHALL NOT DIE

 

I was thinking this morning..... The past few days have made me sober, triggering deep introspection about life and death. I was on a flight with a colleague who had received the shocking news of the passing of her brother-in-law a few hours earlier. This man's job had been so demanding and stressful in recent years that he had agreed with the wife that he was going to resign for the sake of his health. However, he kept going and going until last week when he could take it no more and threw in the towel. He had resigned in the morning, and by midnight, he suffered a heart attack and died a couple of hours later.

Wow! How do you explain that? Did he resign too late? If he hadn't resigned, could he have died in active service? I imagined how so many people are experiencing similar extreme work pressure but somehow can't break away. As I considered why, I can only recall the Warri proverb that says, 'E go beta, e go beta, na e make camel still dey carry load.'

I remember a colleague years ago who was a workaholic. He worked so hard and hardly created time for vacation or recreation. He was saving up seriously for his retirement when he would finally relax and enjoy the fruits of a labour. Unfortunately, the stress took a toll on him, and he collapsed and died. The retirement he worked day and night for was never to be. As colleagues gathered for his burial, one lesson was clear to all, 'Who naked no dey chuke hand for pocket!'

I was still pondering on the fate of those they left behind when I saw a writeup on the burial of President Muhammadu Buhari. The author had clearly pointed out that despite the status of PMB, his burial was simple, with no night of tributes, no wake keep, no in-laws visit, no expensive coffin, no 5 musicians playing concurrently, no hired pall bearers nor spraying of naira or dollars. Everything that makes people say 'the burial carry weight' was absent. How did we come to this point of stressing ourselves to death and still stress the living because of what people would say? I concluded with the saying, 'This burial rich, this burial rich, no make to die hungry elders.'

Don't live or pattern your life to impress anyone or conform with unhealthy tradition. Think deeply about what is driving your actions. Otherwise, like they say, 'head wey no wan think, go carry load.' Psalms 118:17 says 'I shall not die, but live.'

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

Hello! Can You Hear Me?

 

I was thinking this morning.... The wedding of the daughter of our Hussey College classmate in Toronto happened at a time when the trade war between the USA and Canada was raging. This triggered a soft war between our classmates from the USA and Canada, with the Canadians jokingly threatening to slam additional tariffs on the USA group on arrival. The USA group threatened that their visit to Toronto was to finalise the annexation of Canada as the 51st State of the USA.

Unfortunately, the day of arrival of the USA team in Canada was when the hotel everyone was lodged, decided to carry out maintenance. Power was shut off, and water ran out. The USA folks went into overdrive, telling everyone exactly how Canada is like a county and needed to be annexed by the USA.

We were yet to hear the last of their complaints on our way to Niagara Falls when we saw this phone booth standing by the side of the gas station we stopped to top our tanks. That again triggered another round of gbas-gbos between the USA and the Canadian teams, with the USA team insisting that Canada is old-school for having phone booths in the era of advanced mobile phones. As they banter, I walked over to the booth, just to confirm if it was functional. As I picked up the handset to my ear and heard the ring tone, like in the movie, Matrix, I was teleported to a realm of musing.

How ironic that we came from an era with little or no mobile phones, but yet communication was great, to today with mobile phones everywhere and we are not communicating. In 1980, there were approximately 400 million telephone lines compared to today, with over 7.4 billion smartphones globally. Today, talk is cheap, but communication is poor. Everyone has a phone, but only a few are communicating. Parents and children are all sitting in the living room, each holding a mobile phone, not for communication, but lost in their respective virtual world.

Mobile phones were meant to improve communication, but it has made it worse. Talking does not mean communication because we can communicate in silence. Beyond communicating, we must seek to understand one another to make the world a better place. No wonder Colossians 4:6 says, "Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one." 

Hello! Can you hear me?

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

THE BOY WITH OVERSIZED SHORT

 

I was thinking this morning..... Still on the wedding of the daughter of my Hussey College classmate in Ontario, Canada, 39 years after we left school. My young wife and I got to the venue of the trad early, just to ensure we were part of all the action. One by one, guests walked into the living room, colourfully dressed in traditional Niger Delta outfit. While I recognised just a few of my classmates, almost every one of them recognised me. I'm not sure why, though.

While musing, Usifo walked over to where I was with another of our classmates. I didn't at all pick his face from the past, even though the name rang a bell. I was still digging into the deep recesses of my memory when Usifo said, "Weyimi, I remember you quite well. You were very small while we were in school and always wore oversized shorts." He concluded by gesturing to the shorts being below my knees.

After laughing off the joke, his words played back in my head. Not the fact that I was smallish but the memory that I wore oversized shorts. I recalled that the oversized short was not a fashion statement but rather an economic strategy by my parents. My short was oversized either because I was to wear it for several years or because it was passed down from my elder brother.

As I thought about Usifo's remarks, I was initially disappointed in myself. Usifo did not remember me for something positively grand, like being the best student in class or an outstanding prefect. He remembered me for my oversized shorts. Chai! He didn't even remember me for being a fine boy or well-behaved student, but of everything about a student, he remembered my oversized shorts. Usifo, why? Lol.

But then, I thought again. While in Hussey College, there were many students that Principal Ojo gave his signature slap for truancy. I am thankful that Usifo did not remember me as one of the receivers. He also didn't remember me as the boy that stole or for any other vice. He remembered me for my oversized shorts.

Thanks to Usifo, I got a renewed sense that it is better to be remembered for a bad outfit than for a bad character. What you wear is external and will not define your personality, but what you do to others will define who you are, and that's what you will be remembered for. Be intentional about having a good name rather than a great fashion sense or riches (Proverbs 22:1).

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

TABLE 19

 

I was thinking this morning...... Two days after the traditional wedding of the daughter of our Hussey College classmate was the white wedding, and every one of us had dressed up in our aso-ebi. Again, a Niger Delta attire. As we arrived at the venue, I had planned to go sit with my close friends in the Hussey College Class of 86, but the organisers had a different plan. We were directed to go check our table on the display board at the entrance. My young wife and I had been assigned to Table 19.

I wasn't sure who was assigned to my table and was bracing up for a boring four hours. On getting to Table 19, double chief Lucky Memene, his wife and daughter, the lovely Clara Uyi Reinicke, the irrepressible Maureen Iyere, the amiable Favour Orere and Tony Dale were already seated. These were familiar faces but not my regular pals while we were in school. With a chair short, Tony Dale happily volunteered to give up his seat so my young wife and I could have a seat at Table 19. He left for another table. Lucky Braimoh, who was originally assigned to Table 19, came in later on but joined another table because there was no more seat at Table 19.

As we drove back home after the event, I imagined how the journey of life can be akin to Table 19. Just like I came to the event not choosing where and who to sit with, no one selected their parents when they were born and, to a large extent, not even their friends. Life brought us all together at Table 19.

Like Tony and Lucky, who eventually left Table 19 to another table, we sometimes separate from those we started life with and sojourn with new friends. We must, however, maintain a good relationship with them. Interactions on Table 19 started slowly but picked up tempo when we embraced our individuality and enjoyed the company of each other. Our conversations connected, and we left as closer friends on Table 19.

Life has placed every one of us at our respective Table 19, seating you with family, classmates, colleagues, and others. What you make out of Table 19 depends on you. Embrace those life has paired you with and be kind to them. If you must leave to join another group like Tony, do so happily and without acrimony. Like the Rotarians would say, "Make new friends but keep the old. One is silver, and the other is gold." Romans 12:18 is also instructive.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

WE ARE BUT CHILDREN

 

I was thinking this morning.... This past weekend, the daughter of my secondary school classmate got married in Toronto, Canada. With adequate notice, over 20 classmates travelled from Nigeria, Europe, and North America to honour our friend and classmate. It was a re-union of some sort and the first time of reconnecting with some classmates after 39 years.

While the day was meant to be for the daughter of our friend, it turned out to be a mamas' and papas' fun day. With every of our classmate that walked into the venue of the traditional wedding, there was a shout from someone hailing a friend he hadn't seen in years. We laughed, hugged, and threw banters at each other.

As we made these loud noises, my daughter sat close by watching our every action. I am sure she was wondering what the heck was wrong with these old folks. As the 'yabbies' continued, I wondered how and why we weren't behaving like parents and grandparents that we are. I looked around me and realised that amongst our childhood friends, we were all but children.

When the paying of the bride price was over, we gathered to dance with the couple at a small reception behind the house. The noisy Hussey College group was there to sing the school anthem, and then something unexpected happened. The Mother of the Bride (MOB) stood up to sing a song and boom. What followed was the most bizarre song a truant college student could ever sing. One that would immediately attract punishment from the school principal. Everyone was left in stitches from the laughter. The bride sat there, probably wondering why her mum and her friends were acting like children. She had no idea that amongst your childhood friends, you are but a child.

The next day, we all packed ourselves like kids going for excursion and headed for a fun day at Niagara Falls. Without the thoughts of school fees or family and work challenges, we experienced the freedom of kids. But wait a minute, amongst your childhood friends, aren't we all kids?

There are few occasions where an adult is truly childlike. One of such is when you are with your childhood friends or classmates. Take a break from being a father, mother, pastor, boss, oga and madam, and just be a child for a day. It would do you a lot of good. In Matthew 18:3, Jesus admonished us to be like children.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

THE PLATE AND THE PALATE

 

I was thinking this morning.... I was still doing my Masters, when I ran into a former classmate in Benin City. It was a time we were in a hurry to make it. He was looking good and had great panache or like we say, e don hammer. He invited a friend and I for lunch and we obliged. After all, student no dey reject free food. As we gisted, I observed his transformation from our days at the university and was determined to understand his template.

We settled into this popular restaurant in town and placed our order. Of course, someone else was paying, so we ordered 'orobo' portion. As the food was being placed before me, I suddenly heard my stomach grumbling and my mouth salivating. It was like my hunger had doubled. It must be true that the content of the plate determines the reaction of the palate.

Without hesitation, I dug into the dish and kept going until I was full. It was only then that I started to see and think clearly. Like the Scripture says, the eyes of my understanding became open. I started noticing things about my friend that made me contemplate.

After an hour of gisting, I still couldn't say exactly how he made the money he was spending. From his expensive smelling frangrance to his designer clothes, I imagined how what he was spending could pay my school fees ten times over. What about his wristwatch? Hmm! It was even gold plated.

The more I saw, the stronger my doubt about the source of his wealth, and the more I got uncomfortable and decided to cut short the outing. We shook hands one more time as he dropped us off on campus. As he turned to speed away, I looked again to wave a goodbye, and I caught a glimpse of the licence. Wow! His nickname was on the number plate.

As I opened the gate and walked towards my room at the BQ, I recalled the words of Proverbs 1:10, 'My son, if sinners entice thee, consent thou not.' I re-appraised my values one more time. I would rather enjoy a plate of jollof rice cooked with firewood than pretend to be a big boy using an electric hotplate.

The devil will always tempt us with the luxury of life to derail us, but Ephesians 6:14 had admonished us to stand, gird our waist with truth, and have righteousness as our breastplate.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

WHERE YOU DEY CARRY ME DEY GO?

 

I was thinking this morning morning..... Have you ever flown those intercontinental flights that take about 14 hours? I did it a couple of times in my younger years without hassle. On such a flight, you eat, watch movies, read, sleep, wake up, watch movies again, stand to stretch your legs, but the trip never seems to end. Like Fela sang in one of his oldies, the trip go tire your body. E go tire your mind.

This was my feeling on a recent trip, and I couldn't but recall the experience of a young Warri girl, as told by a colleague. In his early days in one of the oil companies in Warri, his colleague, who was single at the time, got an international posting. In order not to sojourn in the far away land alone, he hurriedly perfected his wedding to his Warri girlfriend.

It was a dream come true for this Warri girl, travelling abroad for the first time, and more so, with the love of her life. When the journey started, it was wonderful. She ate, watched movies, and gisted with her husband, but the journey was just beginning. She slept and woke up after a few hours, yet they were not there. At one point, doubt about her safety and whether she could really trust the man she just got married to, started to creep in.

A couple of hours later, the doubt had changed to fear and the fear had taken the better part of her enthusiasm. She turned and looked at her newly wed husband straight in the eyes and said, "My guy, where you dey carry me dey go?" Before her husband could explain, she broke into tears. According to my colleague, it took other passengers to console this young Warri girl that her husband was not taking her for slave trade.

Sometimes, we all have doubts about the process and journey of life. You left your job and comfort zone, convinced by a friend, to travel abroad for greener pastures. Or you recently made a big decision in your career or business that you thought was going to change your life. Now, a few years on, and you are not sure anymore. It's okay to cry and ask, "Lord, where you dey carry me dey go?"

If God is the one that is taking you, relax and fear not. You are not alone. Abraham looked forward to a city whose architect and builder is God (Hebrews 11:10). God is taking you to a glorious place.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

THE POPCORN GENERATION

 

I was thinking this morning...... I attended a training with some colleagues this past week and was discussing how we coped with life in the seventies and eighties. A colleague who became a seafarer at 18 told us how they routinely spend 6 months at sea without phones, video calls, or social media. This was a period when you sent an email, and the shortest time you got a response was 24 hours. How did they even survive those years? How did they not die of boredom?

As he spoke, I reflected on our lives in Warri. How we gathered in the yard to play and wait till 4 pm when TV station resumes. There were no flat screen TVs or video games for us as children. For those lucky enough to have a television, their screen time was no more than 5 hours daily. We didn't die of boredom. Our life was not slow.

Life today is different. Very different. Young people of today live in a bubble. They are the popcorn generation, who wants to change from corn to popcorn in seconds. They live in a fast world, eat fast foods, and drive fast cars except that they do not fast, to strengthen their spirit man.

Oh, the popcorn generation. They say they are socially and upwardly mobile and in a hurry to get rich. The Yahoo gang of that generation spend their time on mobile phones, live in mobile apartments, invest heavily in mobile data and at the end they become guests of mobile police.

For the rest of us that are legit, our lives have become virtual reality. We hold our family and business meetings in virtual spaces. Instead of going on vacation to appreciate nature, we do virtual tours. We spend virtual currency to pay for our kids to have virtual learning. Sadly, we have all become avatars in a virtual world.

When I recently saw my NYSC photo and how my trousers looked like skirt, I knew immediately that the popcorn generation would not understand. Every good thing in life takes time. The radio jingle of old says, "Jeje o, my friend o, no rush life o, you hear. Jeje o, jeje o, take am coolee oo." Where are we in a hurry to? Relax and appreciate life. Ecclesiastes 9:7-9 comes to mind. Be real. Be human. Be alive.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy New Month!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

NA WETIN I GAIN?

 

I was thinking this morning..... It was my colleague's birthday a couple of weeks ago, and in my usual manner, I sent him a short email greeting, saying, "Happy birthday. Kindly accept my best wishes." Everyone else I had sent that message to in the past always responded with a simple "thank you." But this my guy gave a completely different but profound response. He responded, "Thanks, Mr Wey....but wetin I gain if I no receive your best wishes?"

The response got me thinking. Truly, is there a possibility that he wouldn't accept my best wishes? I have always known that "Kindly accept my best wishes" is a polite and formal way of expressing your well wishes to someone. What I have, however, not thought about is whether anyone really considers accepting or not accepting.

I can understand someone rejecting a birthday gift but haven't imagined someone not accepting one's best wishes. As I walked into the office the next morning, still musing on the response, another colleague who had offended me the day before said, "Good morning." My carnal mind was telling me to ignore him, but then my church mind said, "Mr Wey, na wetin you gain if you no receive his good morning?"

The "Na wetin I gain" test is a trigger for deep and honest reflection. There are many things we do that we would not, if only we subject ourselves to the "Na wetin I gain" test. You are a man and said your wife offended you. Therefore, you refused to eat her food or touch her. Chai! Na wetin you gain?

You are in a position of authority. Together with your cronies, you stole the funds meant for providing basic amenities, including health care. When you are sick, you run abroad, forgetting you have family and friends here that will become victims of your failures here. Na wetin you gain?

The Warri bible version of Mark 8:36 says, "Na wetin person go gain if e kolobi the whole world and come kpai im soul?" Before you take the next big decision, ask yourself the question, "Na wetin I gain?"

But wait o... Is today not my mum's birthday? Na wetin you gain if you no join me to send her best wishes?

Happy Birthday, Maami!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

ARSENAL HAPPENS TO US ALL

 

I was thinking this morning.... The last  four weeks have been terrible for true Arsenal fans. Arsenal FC last won the Premier League in 2003/2004 season. There was so much expectation of them winning something this season, but like in recent years, they faltered in the last mile. First, they gave up the fight with Liverpool for the Premier League, and then their only chance of winning a trophy after 5 years, the Champions League, evaporated after losing to PSG home and away. Since then, the Gunners and Gooners have been the butts of jokes.

Memes and AI generated photos were shared widely on social media with the most striking being a video of a young man approaching a young lady and said, 'Since Arsenal hasn't won a trophy this season, every Arsenal fan will want a girl like you because you are a walking trophy.' Chai! O enter gan. Another that got me thinking was the AI generated image of Arsenal players atop an open roof double-decker bus in the streets of London with the inscription 'We Tried FC.'

Despite Arsenal holding the record for the highest number of FA Cup wins, having claimed the trophy 14 times, most recently in 2020, it didn't stop the trolls focusing on the one thing we've failed at, the Champions League. But then, aren't we all part of 'We Tried FC'? I doubt if there is anyone who has never tried and failed in one way or another. Arsenal happens to us all.

It's the way of the world. First they force you to focus on your failures rather than your success. Next, they will laugh at you for putting in your best and not succeeding. How has putting in your best and not succeeding become a sin? You've studied hard and attempted an exam multiple times and not succeeded, and haters call you 'We Tried FC.' Haba!

Sadly, not everyone can manage failure well, particularly when teased or laughed at. The 19-year-old female student from Ikorodu that committed suicide because she scored 146 in the last JAMB UTME exam, lower then her 190 score for last year, probably did so because she felt disappointed and was afraid of being seen as part of 'We Tried FC.' It was Winston Churchill who said, 'Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.' Isaac Newton, Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Edison and many other great men all failed spectacularly before they succeeded. Proverbs 24:16 says, 'Though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again'. Arsenal happens to us all and it is not a curse.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

WHO IS YOUR SAMARITAN?

 

I was thinking this morning.... a couple of weeks ago, we got the sad news of the death of an elder in church. He was about 70 years old. While his passing was shocking, the manner he died was heart-wrenching. He retired from active service not too long ago and started living alone not long after, having separated from his wife of so many years. The children are all grown up and living on their own.

On the fateful Monday morning, he collapsed while washing clothes. Because he lived alone, there was no one to help. For the next 4 days, he laid dead in his flat. No one who came to look for him got alarmed enough by his absence to break into his flat. By the weekend, the offensive smell and swarm of flies by his window had attracted the attention of his neighbours, who later broke in and discovered his decomposing corpse. 

In my shock, my mind wondered. How is it possible that for the 5 days he was dead in his flat, no one loved him enough to be alarmed by his being incommunicado to go look for him? Where were his children? What was his relationship with his neighbours? Should a 70 year old man even be living alone? There are so many unanswered questions.

Of all the questions, there was one that I couldn't shake off my mind for a long time. For 30 years or more, this man gave the best part of his life bringing up his children. How is it possible that for 5 days, none of the children called their father, who they know live alone, to the point of becoming alarmed when there was no response after 48 hrs? 

I still don't have all the answers and probably never would, but it is important for every man to plan for their retirement years after the kids are long gone. Be intentional about maintaining harmony with your spouse. Aside from death, it is a terrible loss to be separated from your spouse at old age when you both should provide each other succour. Building a strong relationship with your neighbours is another must. 

We all need a Samaritan in life (Luke 10:36), who will care enough to go out of his/her way to ensure you are okay. The Samaritan could be your spouse, child, neighbour, or brother in the Lord. Who is your Samaritan?

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

THE TRAGEDY OF AKPAN'S TOOTHPICK

I was thinking this morning.... Last Tuesday, I joined a few friends and colleagues for dinner at a nice restaurant at Zone 4, Abuja. When we were done devouring the content laid before us, it was time to gist while picking our teeth. We were still on it when one of us told the story of Akpan and his boss, which made us laugh so hard.

Akpan was a house boy who loved picking his teeth after eating and drinking. You can argue that Akpan would pick his teeth after drinking water. His oga got angry one day, called him and said, "Akpan, how can this new pack of toothpick be almost empty?Why is it that you are always using so many toothpicks and throwing them in the bin? Don't ever do that again," he concluded.

For the next few weeks, the quantity of toothpicks in the pack did not drop, and Oga was happy Akpan got the message. Weeks later, madam observed Akpan pick his teeth and put the used toothpick back in the pack. "Akpan, what the heck are you doing?" She yelled. Akpan responded, "My oga say I dey finish the toothpick because I dey use the toothpick and throw am. Na im I say make I put am back after I use am, make e for no finish." Madam almost fainted.

Oga thought to save some money by ordering Akpan not to use toothpick. Now Akpan is using the toothpick and putting it back for Oga to use. Chai! It's a tragedy. How you treat those working for you could determine if you would experience the tragedy of Akpan's toothpick. We've read stories of unhappy domestic staff using oga and madam toothbrush to wash the toilet bowl and put it back for them to use to brush their teeth. It can be akin to the tragedy of Akpan's toothpick.

You employ people to work in your shop or office, and you treat them like slaves. They may not talk back at you, but they sabotage you in various ways. That also can be likened to the tragedy of Akpan's toothpick. Is your subordinate and employee getting under your skin? Discipline them but do so with love to avoid experiencing the tragedy of Akpan's toothpick. Colossians 4:1: "And masters, treat your servants considerately. Be fair with them. Don't forget for a minute that you, too, serve a Master — God in heaven.”

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

 

Eating Your Life Away

I was thinking this morning.... It was the beginning of the long Easter weekend, and I arrived at the offstation location with the first flight of the day. I checked into the guesthouse and went straight for breakfast. Seeing the array of options on display, I fete myself with as much as I desired.

I usually would take my hot chocolate in the morning, snack mid day, and have a good scrumptious meal for dinner. That has been my routine for years except when I travel out of town like this occasion. However, this was different. For some strange reasons, I decided to eat 3 well-rounded meals. I ate like I was celebrating the death and resurrection of Jesus. Even me, I tire for myself, as I ate and stuffed myself with starch like a teenager. To make matters worse, I was too busy on my computer to go for my daily exercise.

By the second night, I couldn't sleep soundly. I was constipated, and the next morning, I felt bloated and heavy like bread soaked in water. My whole system was making tu-tu-tu-tu like Hussey College ewa. It was then I understood again that my body was reminding me that I was eating myself to death. I immediately put my body under subjection by going on intermittent fast to detox the starchy poisons from my body while also exercising.

I have long learnt that our bodies are like children. You can not say you love your child so much and feed him or give him everything he asks for. There are some things your child asks for, and you say 'No. This is not good for you.' Don't eat your life away with junks. You can't love your 10 year old child so much, and you give him your car to drive on the highway. In the same vein, don’t drive your body beyond its limit. Moderation is the key.

While it is true that genetics have a part to play with how healthy you are at old age, there are a lot you can do now to remain healthy later in life. If you don't care for your body now, it would betray you at old age. One of the most heartbreaking thoughts about old age is your body not obeying you, and you having to depend on people to feed and walk.

Material things would mean nothing when your health fails. Eat right, exercise more, and stress less. The rate at which people slump and die has become alarming. Be intentional about what you eat and how you live. There is death in the pot (2nd Kings 4:40).

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

THE BURDEN OF LONELINESS

 

I was thinking this morning...... A week ago, I put a call through to a friend I hadn't spoken to in days who had travelled to his village for vacation. He informed me he wasn't feeling okay and was going to visit the hospital. Knowing that he was alone because his family now resides abroad, I decided to call back after a couple of days. After confirming he saw the doctor and was okay, we exchanged pleasantries, and I dropped the call. A few minutes later, I received a message from him expressing his heartfelt appreciation for calling him that morning. It didn't seem like a normal 'thank you for calling' message, and it made me think about the burden of loneliness when one is retired and aged.

Every time I travelled abroad and drove or walked past a retirement home or nursing home for the elderly, I always wondered why we do not have old people's homes in Nigeria. I always felt the retirement home was a good idea because the aged would be well cared for and won't be lonely. How ignorant I was.

Loneliness, I have come to realise, is not the absence of people around you. Rather, it is the absence of connection between you and your loved ones. Loneliness is more emotional than physical. For many, at old age, the biggest challenge is not physical but emotional struggle that comes from loneliness. When you get old, how certain are you that a loved one will visit you?

What sort of relationships are you building with your children? When they all grow up and travel out of the country, would they look forward to visiting you back home with their kids? How often you take time out to be with your children will determine how often they would take time out to visit you when you are aged and alone.

Remember that neighbours, sunday-sunday church members, and domestic staff can't replace the warmth of family and friends (including classmates and colleagues) built over the years. Invest in building strong relationships now. Spend less time chasing money and material things, and give more time to making meaningful connections. Five real friends are better than 5,000 social media friends and followers who will never visit you. The most important connection you can make today is to stay connected to the Vine (John 15:5).

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Easter!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

CONTINUE WITH YOUR WORK O

 

I was thinking this morning.... Days ago, I stepped out to take a walk within the estate. Two streets away, I observed a teenage boy locked in conversation with a young girl in front of her house. As I got closer, I looked at the girl straight in her eyes and she immediately said with a shaky voice 'gu gu good morning sir,' like someone caught with her hand in the cookie jar. I immediately knew what was going on.

As I walked away, I remembered my days as a teenager in the late 80s. I was at the age where boys were boys and were testing their girls' toasting skills. In one of our evening girls scouting rendezvous, one of us approached a young lady and was delivering his lines with all diligence, while the rest of us stood aside. Suddenly, the girl sighted her dad walking towards them and ducked. The young man immediately took dressing, bent down, and pretended to be doing something meaningful. 

As the girl's father came close, he looked straight at the young man and said, in a very rich yoruba accent, "Dooh. Continue with your work oo. Continue with your work." Before the young man could respond to what he thought was an appreciation and encouragement from an ignorant man, the next statement shocked him. The girl's father concluded, "Continue with your work. Be chasing my daughter." Our guy froze while the rest of us laughed out loud.

That day, I learnt a lesson not to second guess people. Wait for them to land before you assume you know what they have in mind. Many times, we think we know what people want to say even before they say it. We might even believe we have the gift of mind reading. Meanwhile, na over sabi dey worry us. No wonder Warri man says, 'Na over sabi make husband call im wife mummy.'

As I became a father, I understood the folly of children and teenagers thinking they are playing an adult, not realising the adult can see right through their acts long before they even started. That they didn't say anything does not imply they are ignorant. After all, no be eye wey dem take chop eba dem take dey share meat. There are things you handle with wisdom. The bible in Proverbs 3:5-6 cautioned against being overconfident or presumptuous. Be wise.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

THE NIGHT TRAFFIC TAUGHT ME A LESSON

 

I was thinking this morning.... Lagos, in South West Nigeria, is notorious for its traffic, but the traffic jam of last Wednesday was unprecedented. It had rained heavily that morning before I set out from Lekki to VI. Due to the anticipated flood and closure of Independence Bridge, I decided on what I thought was best, rely on Google Maps. Halfway into the trip, the heavens opened, and the rains poured again. Traffic had built up, and Google Maps diverted me towards Bar beach. I drove on partially flooded roads besides Section 1 of the Lagos-Calabar Coastal Highway still under construction.

After driving to where I thought was the end, I noticed the connection back to the main road had been fenced off, but Google Maps was not aware. As I made a U-turn back to where I started, I understood the proverb that says, "Pastor wey dey pray for mad person no dey close eye." I should have known that too few cars on that back road was a red flag. I eventually got to VI after 3 hours, and I thought my nightmare was over. I was so wrong.

Having completed by business at VI, I thought about by return trip. Before I set out back home at about 7 p.m., I decided to give Google Maps a second chance. Instead of turning left towards Eko Hotel, Google Maps directed me to turn right towards Bonny Camp, with the traffic indicating blue all the way to Lekki. I had not driven 100m when I ran into a traffic jam like I had never before experienced. Every junction was a mad house. The two-lane road had become four. Military personnel were driving in the opposite direction. In the end, we were all stuck and going nowhere. As I wondered how we got here, I recalled the proverb, "Do you know who I am? Do you know who I am?..Na so hold up take dey start."

After about 5 hours, I had covered a modest distance of 1km. I brought out my phone and checked on Google Maps one more time. The roads were still blue. It was then it dawned on me that Google Maps did not anticipate a zero movement traffic, so it interpreted it as the roads being free of traffic. Chai! Google Maps had put me in one chance twice in one day. This time, I was not too angry because "Person wey don faint before no be stranger to death."

Though the traffic was gruelling, I kept hoping it would clear up, and I would zoom all the way home. When it was past midnight, I estimated that if I continued in that path, I won't get home till 5 am. Accepting that I had made the wrong move, again, I decided to make a u-turn. I had literally lived the proverb, "E go beta, e go beta, na im make camel still dey carry load."

After making a u-turn again, against the direction of Google Maps, I made a left turn and was expecting a clear path. Alas, a reckless driver had left his lane and was driving against the oncoming vehicles. He drove to where I was with nowhere to go. Before I could scream at his madness, I saw a military man walk to him and commanded him to reverse back immediately. Without argument, he reversed. I realised the driver had learnt the lesson that, "You no need fork and knife to chop slap."

I eventually got home by 1.30 am, thanks to my decision to turn back. I later understood that those who continued on the path Google Maps recommended did not get out of the traffic till about 4.30 am. Despite the loads of lessons I learnt from that experience, I knew it was just a bad day for me. Like they say, "Cockroach wey jam fowl, jam bad luck."

Many have wondered why people still live in Lagos after such terrible experiences with traffic. I thought about it myself, and the only answer I could come up with is, "Pikin wey wan chop party rice, no dey fear dance." Psalms 34:19 comes to mind.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

NA OUR MAMA BE THIS O

 

I was thinking this morning..... It was usual in Warri to hear senior citizens being called Papa lolo (with the lolo pronounced low-low) and mama lolo. There have been diverse views as to the meaning of papa lolo or mama lolo. While some believe it means an old man or woman that misbehaves, others believe it meant a funky old man or woman. Whatever the meaning, the husband of Fanny wasn't taking it. Who exactly is Fanny's husband?

He was a funky senior citizen in Warri, and his wife, called Fanny, was also well advanced in age. As he walked with swagger into his compound, his children would hail him shouting 'papa lolo.' On a certain day, he just couldn't take it as a compliment anymore and needed to return the insult. As they shouted 'papa lolo,' he responded, 'na Fanny be lolo.' A second hailing of 'papa lolo' was returned with 'na your mama be lolo.'

It was this story that came to my mind when news broke of the incident involving the students of Delta State College of Nursing Science at Asaba. The event’s Master of Ceremony had introduced the first lady by singing the song 'Na our mama be this o,'  and the students responded in unison, 'Na your mama be this,' meaning 'This is your mother,' refusing to accept the designation.

Just like Fanny's husband sees 'papa lolo' as an insult, so many Nigerians have interpreted 'na your mama be this o,' to be an insult. It won't come as a surprise to a typical Waffarian because one common insult to throw at someone is 'Your father,' or 'Your mama.' How simply saying 'your mama' amounts to an insult is still a mystery to me. However, pikin wey say im mama no fine dey use style call im papa blind man.

To me, my mama na my mama. You can't force your mother on me, just like I can't expect you to accept my mother like I do. One thing that is true, though, is the proverb that says, 'No food for lazy man, no be for person wey im mama get bukka.' A mother’s love and compassion for her child cannot be faulted. So, a child that is not proud of his mother, naim know wetin dey do am. Isaiah 49:15 says, 'Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb?' Respect and show love to women, be it a babe or mama lolo. Happy Mothers Day to my young wife, my mum and every mother in and around my life. Without you, life for get as e be. Truly, na our mama be this o.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Mothers Day!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

LIFE NA RODEO

 

I was thinking this morning..... Days ago, a young lady who recently got a job with a multinational company came to me for mentoring. As she unveiled her aspirations and expectations, I dropped nuggets of advice to guide her in her career. A number of times, I was tempted to use some proverbs in buttressing my points. However, every time I started quoting a proverb, the Warri version jumped in front like a spoilt child.

She asked about what it takes to get to the pinacle of her career. I told her about patience. As I made the point about being patient and that good things would always result from diligence, the proverb about the patient dog came to mind. I started by saying, 'The patient dog...' But before I could add 'eats the fattest bone,' the Warriness jumped in and said 'the patient dog.... na hungry go kill am.' At this point, I wasn't sure if my advice to her was to be patient or aggressive.

As we continued the conversation, she asked what else it takes to be successful in the corporate world. I told her about focus, competence, and the determination to succeed. As she wrote down the key points, I concluded by saying, 'Na determination make okada overtake trailer for road.'

She smiled, paused as if to soak in the message, and then asked about the pitfalls to avoid. I told her not to miss an opportunity to learn because we are lifelong learners. Her facial expressions revealed she didn't get the point. I paused and then said, 'Na over confidence make February no complete.' The message immediately sank. Be confident in yourself, but beware of overconfidence.

As we rounded off that session, I asked if she had any other question, to which she responded in the negative. At that point, I told her to focus on building the right relationships both with her supervisors and peers but warned against putting all her trust on people. I had said, 'Forget trust. If trust dey, water nor for boil fish.'

As she left my office, I soliloquised on all I had said and concluded that life is like a rodeo. It is an exhibition in which, like a cowboy, you show your skills at riding the wild horse (broncos). Whether you will succeed will depend on your skills and God. Ephesians 6:13 says '...having done all, to stand.'

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

THE DANCE OF LOVE

 

I was thinking this morning..... Days ago, a friend told me that a mutual friend had separated from her husband after about 10 years of marriage. I was surprised because the couple were successful and looked good together. In my surprise, I did a mental review and was shocked by the number of separated or divorced couples I know. Wow! Why are people no longer fighting for their relationships? Why are we no longer committed to the dance of love?

As I mused, I remembered the romantic dance of Western Parotia. It is one of the most gifted dancers among birds. It holds itself to a very high standard for courtship to be perfect. It carefully cleans up fallen leaves one by one and polishes the branch the female bird will land using snake skin, making them shine brightly. To make the courtship area even more attractive, it carefully finds some brightly coloured nuts and decorates the surrounding with them. It then practices the courtship dance, from the extent of its wing spread to the movements of its feet, all to present the best version of itself to the object of its affection. When its effort eventually pays off by attracting a female bird of paradise, it transforms into a graceful gentleman among birds. Before the performance begins, it gracefully bows deeply to the female bird. Then, an exquisite performance officially starts.

Like Western Parotia, most of us danced this dance during courtship. We went the extra mile to prepare for a prospect to visit. Yet after marriage, we completely stopped dancing. We became stiff and cold. We all need some romantic advice from Western Parotia. 

Like Western Parotia, if we could go the extra mile to woo the object of our affection before marriage, why aren't we going the extra mile to make the marriage work? If we could be patient enough for our spouse to accept us before we tied the knot, why are we so impatient and intolerant after marriage?

Marriage is not a prison. It should be a sanctuary of love and mirth. Like Western Parotia, dance the dance of love for your spouse. It doesn't matter what type of dance. Just dance. It doesn't have to be perfect. Just make the effort. Songs of Solomon 6:13 says, "Dance, dance, girl of Shulam. Let us watch you as you dance."

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

THE FORCE OF BLOOD

 

I was thinking this morning..... After my secondary school, I went to spend the long holiday with an uncle and his family while waiting for my admission to the university. Being a very successful civil servant, they lived a much softer life compared to my home. I was a good nephew, waking up early to clean the house and wash the car. After months of living with them, I expected in my naive mind that I have earned what it takes to be equal to my cousins in the eyes of my uncle. I was so wrong.

One weekend, my uncle was decluttering and brought out this nice lace shokoto he hadn't worn since his younger years. Because my cousins already had so many clothes and I, almost nothing, I expected that my uncle would do me the honours. Alas, he gave the lace to his son who doesn't need it. I was really pained and couldn't understand why he would bypass me that really needs it. I was only 15 years old. Years later after I had children of my own, I did exactly what my uncle did. As I considered the reason why, I discovered we were driven by the force of blood.

In the Netflix movie, Yellowstone, Rip, that started living with the John Dutton family since he was a boy was suddenly moved out of the foreman's house to the bunkhouse because Kayce, John's son wanted to live there. When Beth, John's daughter, reminded him that Rip does not deserve to be treated that way because he looks at him like a father, he responded 'But I am not his father, honey. I'm Kayce's father.' The force of blood at work.

We know of so many religious leaders that started their ministries with fellow labourers in the vineyard. These brethren laboured with them from the begining until the ministry became great. Many years later, they side step their co-labourers and will hand over the reins of power to their children at the expense of those that have served them all their lives. Please do not judge them, it is the force of blood at work.

Why would a man find it easy to will his properties to a truant child rather than a relative or stranger that has served him all his life and call him dad? The force of blood. What is in man that makes us willing to give our all to our children? We always say blood is thicker than water, but not when the water is frozen. The connection of children to parents is stronger than we think. Proverbs 13:22.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

THE SWEET DISTRACTION

 

I was thinking this morning... Last week, I was invited as a special guest at the Interhouse Sports and Fun Day of Crestland International School, Port-Harcourt. It was, indeed, an all-round fun day.

Of all the activities, the lollipop race struck home for me. In this race, designed for children in pre-nursery, each child was given a lollipop a few minutes before the race began. At the blast of the whistle, the children were asked to run the 15-meter lap while licking and savouring the sweet. All four children started the race strong, licking the candy and running.

Less than 5m into the race, one of the children could no longer combine the enjoyment with running. He stopped running, and with his hand to his mouth, he held the lollipop stick and just enjoyed himself. The other three runners focused on the race. Before my little friend realised it, the other three runners had got to the finish line. He lost the race because of a sweet distraction.

I remember commencing my doctorate programme immediately after my Masters in 1994. Less than a year into the programme, I got a job and started earning real money for the first time in my life. I decided to put my schooling on hold, promising to return in a couple of years. Well, that 2-year hiatus was 30 years ago last year. To me, making money was a sweet distraction from achieving my dream of being called a doctor.

There are many young girls who started their education strong and on track to getting a degree. Then they met a smashing young man. One thing led to another, and they got pregnant and dropped out of school. Most will promise themselves that after having the baby, they would return to complete their studies. Ten years after, they are still the compound mama Iyabo. Their dream was scuttled by a sweet distraction.

In the race of life, focus is key. Everyone is faced with a sweet distraction ever so often, where you could either enjoy your lollipop or continue running. Sometimes, though, you could have the rare privilege of running and savouring your lollipop. Whatever your situation might be, focus on the prize. Hebrews 12:2 gave us a perfect example of how to avoid the sweet distraction

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

TRUST, PLEASE FORGIVE US

 

I was thinking this morning.... I have been working for safety for over 30 years and thought I knew my employer until a few years ago when a young man came up the altar in my local congregation to give a testimony. When asked to introduce himself, he said his name was 'Safety.' 'Really? Could this be my employer?' I thought, smiling.

About three months ago, I had cause to give a job to a young man called 'Believe.' I initially believed in his ability to deliver on the assigned task. Two months down the line, Believe couldn’t deliver. Today, I no longer believe in Believe.

Then a couple of weeks ago, at a work event, I met a young lady who said her name was 'Signs.' I was confused and initially thought I heard 'Science.' With further probe, she said she is actually a twin, and both of them were named 'Signs' and 'Wonders.' Wow! was my reaction.

Yesterday, I watched the 2025 Netflix Limited Series thriller, Zero Day. Somewhere in Episode 1, I listened to the sitting POTUS trying to convince an hesitant past POTUS to take up a public service job to lead a special team to investigate a cyberattack. She had said, 'The only thing more important than a quick result is the result that everyone can trust. They trust you.'

I pondered those words and recalled that I used to know someone called 'Trust' but haven't seen her in years. I suspect someone must have offended Trust, making her leave the state or probably the country. Everything has fallen apart in Nigeria since Trust disappeared. I have checked the ranks of our political leaders, Trust is not among them. So many religious leaders no longer have Trust as their companion. What about in business? You will never find Trust there. Amongst friends, Trust is missing.

Trust, please, where are you? Why are you not around like your other companions? I attended NSPPD and other large religious gatherings, and I saw 'Signs' and 'Wonders' there. At my workplace, I see 'Safety' every day. Even 'Believe' occassionally shows up. But where is Trust? Where in the world can I find Trust? Trust, wherever you are, forgive us and come back.

While Proverbs 20:6 asked, 'Who can find a trustworthy man,' I am pleading for someone to find Trust and bring her back to Nigeria. We all need Trust to make progress.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

Mama, My Shoe!

 

I was thinking this morning.... I was at my desk on Monday morning when my colleague walked in. Because I hadn't seen him in over a week, I walked over to his desk for a warm handshake. As I shook his hand, my attention was drawn to his solid steel-toe boots. 'Who are you kicking this morning?' I asked. In his visibly confused look, I could tell he was wondering what I meant. I decided to save him the trouble by telling him the story of my cousin, Big-T.

In 1991, during my NYSC year, I usually spent short breaks with my aunt at the Borokiri area of Port-Harcourt. My cousin, Big-T, who was a teenager at the time, had this pair of boots that he used as a secret weapon should he get into a fight. Using the steel toes boot to kick anyone was a sure knockout tactic. On a particular day, we were all seated in the living room when Big-T dashed in. He was heading for his room when my aunt stopped him. Holding his hand, my aunt asked what the problem was. With so much anger, Big-T snarled, 'Mama, my shoe. My shoe. Mama, my shoe.'

While we all laughed, we knew that someone had offended him, and he wanted to unleash his secret weapon, his steel-toe boots, to kick the hell out of that potentially unfortunate boy. But then, we held him back. 'Mama, my shoe' is an allegory of 'I will teach you a lesson.'

Most people have secret weapons they deploy to fight back offences, similar to the venom snakes deploy. You see a man in a lovey-dovey mode with his wife, and she asks him for money or some favour he is not willing to meet. Knowing that he can do it but don't want to, she immediately activates the 'Mama, my shoe' weapon. For some, it is malice, others will starve their spouse of food or sex.

What's your weapon of offence or defence in the face of an attack? When you cry 'Mama, my shoe,' what should your victim expect? Character assassination, physical assault or spiritual arrows? When next your spouse, colleague or some random stranger offends you and you run into your weapon store screaming 'Mama, my shoe,' please ensure it is the shoes of peace you are going for, because Ephesians 6:15 says 'And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace.'

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey