CHOOSE YOUR SHAME WISELY

 

I was thinking this morning..... I have always known shame to be a negative emotion, but experts say the feeling of shame is a normal part of the human experience and that it is what sets us apart from all other species. Some even believe there are three types of shame - the good, the bad and the ugly.

The ‘good’ kind of shame also called "healthy shame" is the shame that helps us to feel a sense of guilt or remorse when we’ve acted badly. With healthy shame you hear someone say "I feel bad because I made a mistake.” Bad or unhealthy shame on the other hand is when we refuse to look at ourselves but rather overreact and attack or blame someone else. You hear someone say “You’re the problem because you made a mistake.” The most harmful kind of shame, toxic shame, is the kind that leaves us feeling like we are less than worthy human beings and leads to chronic feelings of depression and low self-esteem. You hear someone say “I’m a mistake.”

I was still reflecting on this when President Trump called Nigeria a disgraced country, threatening to send troops to wipe out the terrorists killing Christians, if the government does nothing. From government to the masses, everyone that had hitherto been silent on the death across Nigeria, now had a voice. Instead of confronting the truth with humility, many Nigerians instead raged, attacking Trump. I shook my head and said "Chai! Nigerians, choose your shame wisely."

In the face of the serious national issue and talk of genocide or no genocide, social media was overtaken by the domestic problems of a billionaire and his estranged celebrity wife. Like seriously? So sad that the spouse you chose is bringing you such toxic shame.

The truth is, many in choosing their spouses and friends have made choices that brought them shame. My prayer is that the spouse and friends we choose will not bring us toxic shame. Choose your friends and spouse wisely, because by so doing you might also be choosing your shame. May God guide us in choosing our friends and spouse wisely. Isaiah 54:4 says "Fear not; for thou shalt not be ashamed: neither be thou confounded; for thou shalt not be put to shame."

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey