WHO WILL SPEAK FOR MEN?

I was thinking this morning… When it comes to family matters, na who write that script? And why dem no consult men before releasing the movie? Yes, women carry pregnancies and give birth, no debate there. Respect. Massive respect. But when it comes to the stress of caring for infants, men too collect premium package.

From the day our wives become pregnant, we begin running around like people wey borrow money from ten banks at once. Midnight cravings? We move. Foot massage? We report. Mood swings? We adjust. One minute she wants ice cream, next minute she wants pepper soup. If you delay small, you are now insensitive.

Then baby arrives.

We double our hustle because failure is not an option. We want to be heroes. We want that child to admire us. But after all the sleepless nights and hard work, the child’s first word is usually… Mama. Chai. Pain. Emotional damage.

After that heartbreak, we triple our hustle. This time, we work harder so our family lacks nothing. But in doing so, we spend less time at home.

Now, if you decide to stay home more often, your wife starts looking at you with that “gbejoro eye” and asks, “Hope everything is okay at work?” Your neighbours too will contribute their own analysis. “Why this man dey house like this? E no get work?” Before you know it, dem don label you agbaya consultant.

The hardest part is the unwritten rule that men must always be strong. Who made that rule? Are we robots?

Months ago, I lost my dad. During his lying-in-state, as we all walked around his remains, my sisters cried openly. They poured out their emotions freely. We the men? Everybody was looking at us like we were on some “Strong Men Association of Nigeria” executive committee.

“As the sons, be strong.” Strong ke? As how? Are we not humans too? So we did what men have mastered over generations. We wore dark glasses and behaved like undercover FBI agents, hiding tears behind tinted lenses.

But truth be told, men feel deeply too. We hurt. We cry. We break. As we say in pidgin, “Na person wey wear shoe know where e dey pinch am.” Even the strongest man gets tired.

Today, I celebrate fathers. The present fathers. The fathers carrying burdens nobody sees. The fathers showing up every day, tired but determined. Thank you for the sacrifices. Thank you for the strength. Thank you for loving, providing, protecting, and enduring. I also remember my late father on this Father's day. God bless his soul. Proverbs 20:7 says “The righteous man walks in his integrity; his children are blessed after him.”

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Father's Day!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey