Sunday 29 April 2018

Wife, Relationship and Gender Equality

I Value Relationship
I was thinking this morning...., about Wife, Relationship and Gender Equality. Recently, the wife of a good friend celebrated the award of her Ph.D with a testimony of how God saw her through. She concluded by saying, 'This is that ordinary sister now being referred to as Engineer, Dr (Mrs).....' I smiled because I could feel the value of the 'Mrs' in the titles.
During the September 1995 Fourth World Conference on Women in Beijing, popularly called the Beijing Declaration, it was agreed to address the goals of equality, development and peace for all women everywhere. Since then I have given the declaration all the support I can because I believe we all are equal before God and should not be treated differently.
However, it may seem the struggle for gender equality is being used to advance some esoteric cause. This much I felt when I read the headline, 'Chimamanda Adichie upset with Hillary Clinton's 'Wife' bio.' Chimamanda had told Hillary during an interview, 'In your Twitter account, the first word that describes you is 'wife.' And then I think it's 'Mom,' and then 'Grandmother.' And when I saw that, I have to confess that I felt just a bit upset. And then I went, and I looked at your husband's Twitter account and the first word was not 'Husband.'
I really don't understand why she was upset that Hillary put 'wife' before any other achievement of hers. Was Chimamanda expecting her to put 'Husband' or maybe 'Equal?' If you are not interested in being a wife, then why get married? I understand that Chimamanda is married but prefers to be addressed as 'Miss.' That's her prerogative. I also know that she never dropped her maiden name neither did she attach her husband's name to it. That's also her cup of tea.
But I find it sad to question what people hold dear to them. if I decide to hold my status as 'husband' dear and above all else, please don't 'beef' me, just hold your career or whatever else you value. I was extremely glad when I read the response of Hillary. She had said, quoting Barbara Bush, 'At the end of the day, it won't matter if you got a raise, it won't matter if you wrote a great book, if you are not also someone who values relationships.'
I value relationships and would rather define myself using husband, father, brother, pastor and friend rather than define myself with my personal accomplishments such as doctor, author etc. Like they say, we are only receivers and not achievers. There is nothing we have that we didn't receive from God.
Methinks that being a wife does not make you less equal with the man, otherwise it won't be long before another woman will challenge the value of having the 'wo' as the first letters in 'Woman.' In the same line, not being a wife or mother does not make you less of an accomplished woman, but it is the relationship you have that trumps them both.
Happy Sunday.
.....Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey.

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