Sunday, 1 April 2018

Sins of Saints

Sins of saints
I was thinking this morning... about the sins of saints. Last weekend, I read a tweet by Shehu Sani, the senator representing Kaduna Central, to PMB. It said, Dear Baba, Nature has not endowed the faeces of saints with fragrance. It's time to measure the moral cholesterol of members of your cabinet so as to know those still fit and deserving of a space in your sententious court.' While I am not interested in the political aspect of the tweet, the idiom 'Nature has not endowed the faeces of saints with fragrance' literally dragged me into introspective reflection.

I immediately recalled an experience I had a while back. I am paid to improve the health and safety culture of everyone in my risk area. I breathe and eat HSE, telling everyone at every opportunity to work safely, drive safely and even eat safely. In short, when I am seen outside of work, many will call me 'Oga safety.' One day I was driving in town with my right hand on the steering wheel and left hand holding my phone to my ear. Suddenly, a commercial bus drove by my side and sitting by the window was a colleague, a contractor personnel, who knows nothing about me but safety. She shook her head in disappointment and reminded me not to use my phone when driving. I felt ashamed. At that point, it doesn't matter how sanctimonious I have been concerning safety, I had poo-ed and it stank. It stank because nature has not endowed the faeces of saints with fragrance.

Do you remember how as parents you tell your children that lying is a sin? You teach it, preach it and even reach out to your pastor to help pass the message. Then entered this guy leeching on you. He had asked you for money, you obliged. He came again with another story, and you lend a helping hand. Then he called a third time and you told yourself it's time to become a member of #ourmumudondo. You decided not to attend to him again. The guy showed up at your house and without thinking, you tell your son to tell him you are not at home. Your boy, who sees you as a saint, without the faintest idea of what the circumstance is, froze, wondering how that can be. It dawned on you that you had goofed and can't explain this off. You know why? Because nature has not endowed the faeces of saints with fragrance.

As I held on to this idiom, I remembered Judas. He was a close confidant of Jesus and was even put in charge of the treasury. Many around the disciples probably saw him as a saint, until the day he poo-ed by betraying his master for money, and it sure did not smell like Creed Aventus perfume. The reason? Nature has not endowed the faeces of saints with fragrance.

But all things work together for good, the Bible says. If Judas had not betrayed Jesus, we will not be celebrating resurrection today. So, as you take on leadership responsibilities at home, work or church, remember to stay clean and not defecate because nature has not endowed the faeces of saints with fragrance.

Happy Easter.

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey.










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