Sunday 4 November 2018

Of Urinating and Natural Leaders

Lionel Messi as a Natural Leader
I was thinking this morning...... about the qualities of a leader. During an interview on Mexican television, Diego Maradona accused his fellow compatriot Lionel Messi of not being a natural leader for Argentina and urged his country to stop treating the Barcelona icon as a 'God.' He had said this about Lionel Messi, 'Someone who goes to toilet 20 times before a match cannot be a leader.' Really? I didn't know that the number of times one visits the loo is an indication of one's leadership abilities.

As I thought about it, it began to make sense. No wonder I did not get that job with the Multinational Oil Company early in my career. I was called for an interview and along with others, were placed in a waiting room. I recalled the room had two water dispensers strategically located within my line of sight. As I waited for my turn to be called in, I was drinking some water and visiting the toilet in turn to wee. By my assessment, I knew I did okay at the interview but I was not selected and wondered why. Now I know why. There must have been a CCTV camera where someone was positioned to count the number of times each candidate visited the toilet. They must have concluded that I am not a natural leader because I frequented the toilet. If I had known, I would have come fasting. Hmm!!!
But if the parameter for identifying natural leaders is the  number of times one visits the toilet, why have we been unfortunate to have disastrous leaders in Nigeria? Why can't we just put a camera on our potential leaders like they did the 'Gandollar' governor of the BabaringaMobileBanking fame, while they are in public functions, counting the number of times they visited the toilet and making the person with the lowest cumulative number of visits to the toilet our President? That will save us the N143 billion approved for INEC to conduct the 2019 election and we would avoid all the rigging and violence associated with elections in Nigeria. How I wish it was that simple.

According to the gospel of Diego Maradona, the number of visits to the toilet is the single most important KPI in picking a leader. If this is adopted, women will never be leaders because they tend to have smaller bladders and shorter urethras than men, so women are more likely to have problems with incontinence. Fact, but thank God Maradona's position is rubbish because being a natural leader has nothing to do with incontinence. A natural leader has social ability, self-confidence, assertiveness and boldness. They value the complementary skills and traits of others and surround themselves with people whose strength complement their own. That is what Messi has done that has kept Barcelona at the top for years. No wonder apostle Paul in 1st Cor 15:10 says 'I am what I am by the grace of God,' and not by the number of times I visit the toilet.
Abeg let me visit the toilet before I head to church this wonderful morning.

Happy Sunday.

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey.

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