Saturday 7 November 2020

Politicians Cry, Onions Scarce


I was thinking this morning.... when I read the Channels TV headline on Thursday 'I Nearly Shed Tears Seeing The Destruction Of Properties In Lagos – El-Rufai' I wondered what is making everyone shed tears these days. The last time I shed tears was while slicing onions. Why does chopping an onion make one cry? Onions produce the chemical irritant known as syn-propanethial-S-oxide. It stimulates the eyes’ lachrymal glands so they release tears. 

This new trend of our politicians shedding tears very cheaply is coinciding with a serious scarcity of onions in Nigeria, so much so that many now call onions the new gold. I am beginning to suspect that there might be a connection. Politicians that are soulless and hardly moved by the hunger and killing in their domain, suddenly shedding tears because of material loss? Naa! It is not from empathy, they are using our onions.

First, it was Governor Ben Ayade of Cross River State. Some months ago while inaugurating the State Anti-Tax Agency, he got into an emotional fit, and wept over the level of poverty in the state. He had said amidst tears 'I really wish I can help.' Really? You've been governor for 5 years, na now you know say poverty dey abi? It's an onionic tears. Give us our onions.

Then on Wednesday 28th October, the Kogi State Commissioner for Health Dr Saka Audu while speaking on national TV on how looting affected the State, suddenly started crying. What's going on here? You couldn't find tears, when several people died from election related violence in 2019, neither did we see tears when workers were owed salaries for months. Now the tears are flowing at the same time onions became scarce. Abegi! It's an 'onionic tears.'

I thought I had seen enough tears. Later that day of 28th October, Lagos actor, turned lawmaker, Desmond Elliot was on Arise TV after being dragged to filth by Nigerians over his comment on the regulation of social media. He was still speaking when he broke down in tears. Haba! Just like that? You shed tears in the evening, onions became scarce in the morning.

Why won't onion be scarce when politicians are using it to stimulate tears to show they are empathetic. We don't need tears but good governance. You were not voted in to cry for us but to deliver the dividend of democracy. James 2:14-16 says 'If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and filled,” without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that?'

Happy Sunday.

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey. 

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