THE TEARS WE SEE AND THE BATTLES WE DON’T

 

I was thinking this morning.... Recently in church, a member approached me after Sunday service and requested five minutes of my time. What followed was a story that left me thinking long after our conversation.

She narrated how a neighbour had persistently harassed her, insulting and opposing her at every opportunity. “I honestly don't know what I have done to her,” she lamented.

Then, one day, the neighbour took something that didn't belong to her. When she confronted her, the woman ran straight to their landlord, crying and reporting that she had been insulted. The landlord, a father figure to both of them, summoned her and instructed her to apologise.

We see one person crying and conclude that the other person must be fine. We hear one person's story and pronounce judgment before the other person even opens their mouth. But who told us that the person smiling has no problems?

Some people cry loudly. Others cry silently. Some wear their troubles on their faces. Others package theirs neatly inside a three-piece suit, complete with a matching tie! As we say in Warri, “Na who open mouth talk im own, people dey know say e get problem.”

But silence is not the absence of suffering. And while compassion for someone going through difficult times is commendable, their pain should never become a licence to mistreat others. You can acknowledge someone's struggles without dismissing the hurt they have caused another person. You can show mercy without abandoning fairness.

And perhaps that is where many of us fail as parents, leaders, pastors, landlords and friends. We rush to settle disputes without first seeking to understand them.

The loudest voice gets our attention. The first tears get our sympathy. Meanwhile, the quiet person walks away carrying two burdens: the original hurt and the injustice of not being heard. Before you judge the person who isn't crying, remember that some of the heaviest battles are fought behind the brightest smiles. Proverbs 18:17 reminds us: “The first one to plead his cause seems right, until his neighbor comes and examines him.”

May God give us the wisdom to listen beyond the tears, the patience to hear both sides, and the compassion to recognise that everyone is fighting a battle we may know nothing about. Because the absence of tears does not mean the absence of pain.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

THE MYSTERY OF THE MISSING REMOTE

I was thinking this morning.... Have you noticed that nothing can unite a Nigerian family in prayer, investigation and accusation quite like a missing TV remote control?

I got home recently from work, sank into my sofa and reached for the side stool where I usually keep the remote. Alas, it wasn't there. I checked the centre table, on top of the sofa and the usual suspects. Nothing. As the search intensified, I remembered an experience many years ago in Warri.

After waiting for hours for NEPA to bring light, they finally behaved. Television was ready, electricity was available, but the remote had disappeared.

“Who used the remote last?” Nobody knew.

“Who was watching TV before NEPA took light?” Everybody suddenly developed amnesia.

We checked the sofa, lifted cushions, looked under the centre table and behind the curtains. One person quickly declared, “Daddy, I have not even watched TV today!”

Before long, investigation don turn accusation. Then, after about fifteen minutes, somebody found the remote buried inside the same sofa we had searched several times.Chai!

As Warri people might say, “Wetin you dey find for Sokoto fit dey inside your shokoto.”

That remote reminded me of life. Sometimes we travel far searching for what God has already placed close to us. We search for happiness, fulfilment, opportunity, validation and peace, while overlooking our family, abilities, relationships and opportunities already within reach.

Sometimes, what you are desperately searching for is not missing. Perhaps you are simply looking in the wrong place. Jesus said in Luke 17:21, “the kingdom of God is within you.”

Before you begin another long search, check the sofa again.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

HOW I BECAME MY EXTRA LUGGAGE

 

I was thinking this morning.... On my way back from my long trip recently, I packed my bags, or perhaps “stuffed” is the better word, and headed for the check-in counter. My suitcase landed on the scale: 3kg overweight.

“Sir, you’ll need to reduce the weight or pay $100.”

What! $100 for ordinary 3kg? Haba! I stepped aside and transferred a few items into my carry-on. Problem solved, or so I thought. Back at the counter, my suitcase was now fine, but my carry-on had become 4kg overweight.

“Sir, you can’t take this onboard. You’ll have to check it in for $150 or reduce the weight.”

Chai! From $100 to $150. These people were determined to collect something from me. I stepped aside again, opened both bags and began Operation Reduce Weight. Then I spotted a blazer and a sweater. Eureka!

I wore the blazer over my T-shirt and the sweater over the blazer. Looking like someone travelling from Canada straight to Antarctica, I returned to the scale. 23.7kg.

The attendant looked at me, perhaps with pity, perhaps wondering what kind of fashion statement I was making and said, “I’ll ignore the extra 0.7kg.” Phew!

As I walked towards my gate, something struck me. Overweight checked luggage? No. Overweight carry-on? No. Overweight passenger? Yes!

Laslas, the total weight entering the aircraft had not changed. The blazer and sweater were still travelling. I was still travelling. Nothing had disappeared. The problem was not really the weight. It was where the weight was located.

And perhaps life is sometimes like that. We spend so much energy trying to eliminate every burden when what we really need is to redistribute it. Some responsibilities cannot be thrown away; they simply need to be carried differently. Some loads become manageable when shared. Some problems become lighter when placed in the right hands. As the Bible says in Galatians 6:2, “Bear ye one another’s burdens.”

Sometimes, the answer is not less weight. It is better weight distribution. Abeg make I plan to waka today, maybe I can redistribute some of the weight from my belle to other parts of my body.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

IT'S A LIE

 

I was thinking this morning.... Days ago, I was rushing through an international airport to catch a flight. I had less than two hours to sort out my luggage, clear security and find my gate. My boarding pass was in my email, so I needed WiFi. I selected the airport network and entered my email. Then came that familiar little box: “I have read and agree to the Terms and Conditions.”

Without thinking, I ticked it. Boom! Connected.

As I hurried towards my gate, something suddenly dropped in my spirit. Weyimi, you just lied! Lie ke? How? “You said you had read the Terms and Conditions.”

Jesu!!! I hadn't even opened them!

That got me thinking. Could this be the most commonly told lie in modern history? You open a social media account, tick. Banking app, tick. Hotel WiFi, tick. Online shopping, tick. “I have read and agree to the Terms and Conditions.”

My brother, you didn't read jack!

I remember once actually opening one. Seventeen pages appeared! By page one, my spirit was willing but my flesh was weak. I quietly pressed “Back” and ticked the box. Case closed.

But then the troubling thought came: the Bible says we should put away lying. So what happens to all of us professional Terms-and-Conditions tickers? 😄

Perhaps the bigger lesson isn't really about those 17 pages. It's about how easily we can become comfortable saying something is true simply because everybody does it. Little compromises have a way of becoming normal when repeated often enough. As Warri people might say, lie wey everybody dey talk no go suddenly become truth.

Next time that little box appears, I may actually open the Terms and Conditions. Whether I will finish reading them is another matter entirely! Ephesians 4:25 says “Therefore, putting away lying, let each one of you speak truth with his neighbour.”

In the meantime, I decided to visit the Warri dambadamba Lake, a serene enough location for me to ask God for mercy for the innocent lies we sometimes tell.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey