THE TEARS WE SEE AND THE BATTLES WE DON’T

 

I was thinking this morning.... Recently in church, a member approached me after Sunday service and requested five minutes of my time. What followed was a story that left me thinking long after our conversation.

She narrated how a neighbour had persistently harassed her, insulting and opposing her at every opportunity. “I honestly don't know what I have done to her,” she lamented.

Then, one day, the neighbour took something that didn't belong to her. When she confronted her, the woman ran straight to their landlord, crying and reporting that she had been insulted. The landlord, a father figure to both of them, summoned her and instructed her to apologise.

We see one person crying and conclude that the other person must be fine. We hear one person's story and pronounce judgment before the other person even opens their mouth. But who told us that the person smiling has no problems?

Some people cry loudly. Others cry silently. Some wear their troubles on their faces. Others package theirs neatly inside a three-piece suit, complete with a matching tie! As we say in Warri, “Na who open mouth talk im own, people dey know say e get problem.”

But silence is not the absence of suffering. And while compassion for someone going through difficult times is commendable, their pain should never become a licence to mistreat others. You can acknowledge someone's struggles without dismissing the hurt they have caused another person. You can show mercy without abandoning fairness.

And perhaps that is where many of us fail as parents, leaders, pastors, landlords and friends. We rush to settle disputes without first seeking to understand them.

The loudest voice gets our attention. The first tears get our sympathy. Meanwhile, the quiet person walks away carrying two burdens: the original hurt and the injustice of not being heard. Before you judge the person who isn't crying, remember that some of the heaviest battles are fought behind the brightest smiles. Proverbs 18:17 reminds us: “The first one to plead his cause seems right, until his neighbor comes and examines him.”

May God give us the wisdom to listen beyond the tears, the patience to hear both sides, and the compassion to recognise that everyone is fighting a battle we may know nothing about. Because the absence of tears does not mean the absence of pain.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey