Saturday 14 May 2022

THE COCKROACH RECEPTION

 


I was thinking this morning.... I checked into a 4 Star hotel in Lagos this past week. On arrival at the hotel, the well dressed security man at the main entrance gate pressed a remote and both wings of the gate retracted. 'Oh yea! This is good,' I thought as I drove in. On stepping into the reception area, neatly dressed front desk officers were on hand behind a plexiglass. 'Welcome sir and please have your seat,' the gentleman said as I handed him my ID to confirm my reservation.

Within minutes, I was handed my electronic key card and the officer that checked me in walked over, took my bags and led me to the lift and then to my room on the first floor. At the door of my room, the young man tapped the electronic key, a red light flashed. He tried again and still red. 'Sorry sir. The key system is bad. Let me go get a manual key.' With that, he bolted down the staircase and returned in a couple of minutes with the key with which he unlocked the door.

As I settled into the room, I unpacked my laptop in preparation to join a meeting. Suddenly, I observed a German cockroach on the desk running around like a Warri pikin shouting 'papa dede, oyoyo'. As I tried hitting it, it docked under the TV set. 'What the heck?' I exclaimed as I picked up the phone to call the front desk. 'So sorry sir. I will send someone over,' was the response at the other end. Within minutes, there was a knock on the door. I opened the door and instead of well dressed front desk officer or housekeeper, a utilities man came with a smell that suggested he had been working on a sewer. He stepped in the door holding a can of insecticide.

Apart from taking a step back due to the offensive smell, my response was 'do you intend to spray the insecticide while I am in the room?' I sent him out immediately and by the next morning, I left and checked into another hotel. In Nigeria slang, I Japa'ed.

Isn't my experience typical of what Nigerians experience every political season? The welcoming ambience stepping into the hotel is synonymous with the campaign season when politicians move about promising heaven and earth. The Cockroach Reception is what you get immediately the elections are won. The winner takes his family and strut through the podium at inauguration. And you? OYO (On-Your-Own) for you.

When you complain weeks or months later about failed promises, their social media warriors will attack you. If you persist, the DSS, EFCC and thugs will knock on your door with 'insecticide'. Many that can't take the disappointment will Japa leaving the rest of us to live with the Cockroaches.

We are at it again, the political season is on. My advise is, get involved in the process and ensure the right persons who will comply with Matthew 5:37 get elected otherwise what you get in 2023 will be the Cockroach Reception.

Stay hopeful. God's got your back.

Happy Sunday.

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

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