DILO BEFORE YOU JUDGE

I was thinking this morning..... As part of our year end Family Safety Campaign, we had an event tagged 'Day in the life of (DILO) a working parent, where we arranged for families to visit their Daddy or Mummy in the office. This was to afford the children and spouses the opportunity to not only see where daddy or mummy works but to also give them an idea and first hand experience about the kind of job they do to put food on the table daily.

It's so easy to assume you understand someone without really taking time to walk in their shoes. Some men go out all day in search of daily bread for the family but when things don't work out as expected, they are called lazy. Take a day out to shadow him, then you will truly understand he is doing his best.

So many men do not appreciate what their wives go through juggling both work and home front. If you DILO your wife, you will never disrespect her again.

I believe the reason many of our political leaders lack empathy for the poor is because they can't appreciate what the poor pass through daily. If only, every aspiring leader will be made to truly spend a full day or week living the life of the very poor, they will take decisions that will be people oriented. Eating corn on the streets with the masses as election photo op is not DILO.

Before you judge or condemn anyone for not delivering, make sure you've at least DILOed him or her. Even God sent his only Son to have a DILO of man, so he could save us. Hebrews 4:15 'For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin.'

Don't be in a hurry to judge. First seek to understand. Plan a DILO today.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday.

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

MUMMY, TERRIBLE SANDWICH BY THE WAY

 

I was thinking this morning.....  I recently saw a video of a little boy aged about 3 or 4 years returning from his first day at kindergarten. He got off the school bus to the welcome of his excited mum saying 'Hehehe.. you did it.' The little boy's immediate response as he looked the mum straight in the face was 'Mummy, terrible sandwich by the way.' And the mum responded 'Thanks for letting me know.' As the video went viral on Tik Tok, the mother defended the son by writing 'I am a terrible sandwich Mum. Not my kid going viral for roasting me.'

I am sure you are thinking that this cannot be an African mother and son. Of course, they are not African. African kids know better. I imagined telling my mama in those days 'mama, your soup no sweet.' There will be instant retribution, the best of which will be a horn-producing 'konk' and the worst, 'go and look for your mama that will cook for you henceforth.'

African mothers take no nonsense. One can even say, on the issues of discipline and morals, they take no prisoners. To the extent that there is a pidgin English adage that says 'No pikin go say im mama soup no sweet.' E get why.

The world today is completely different. Where do we draw the line between encouraging our kids to speak up and deliver negative feedbacks and the demands of respect? In the world of Lai Mohammed what that little boy told the mum is nothing but Kindergarten hate speech.

We must train our kids to be respectful in words and deeds particularly if they must give a feedback that is negative. Life and everything that comes with it is a gift and should be appreciated. A son that cannot see the blessing of having a mum that makes a sandwich for him and calls the sandwich terrible, will likely end up being a husband that will never appreciate the wife. He will probably not appreciate God for giving him a Mercedes instead of Rolls-Royce Boat Tail.

The world is in need of grateful adults and not critical ingrates. 1st Thessalonians 5:18 says 'In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.'

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday.

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

WHO'S PLAYING THE MUSIC?

 

I was thinking this morning..... the 11.8km long Third Mainland bridge over the Lagos lagoon, has become an altar of sacrifice of sort having witnessed a series of suicide cases in the last four months. Every of such incident I read reminds me of how I dreaded some rivers in Warri those days because of the sacrifices we see traditional worshippers do by the riverside.

Just last Thursday 10th November, a young lady with Department of State Services (DSS), alighted from a Uber taxi car on the Third Mainland bridge and plunged into the lagoon to her death. What was shocking to everyone as information started coming out was that this lady seemingly had a good job, was recently proposed to by her fiance and just a few months ago received a letter of commendation from the Director General of DSS as the best-unarmed combat operative in her set.

As many wondered how and why someone so blessed would kill herself, concluding that mental health challenges are real, I remembered the quote by German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche 'And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.'

There is no doubt that those that are suicidal are dancing to some music others can't hear. We have interrogated why such persons dance to the music and how we can prevent them from dancing. However, no one is asking 'who's playing the music?'

You may be a driven supervisor that crushes anything and anyone on your way to achieving a goal. If your actions are weighing down a colleague, then you are playing the music. A girl named Ruth may have disappointed you in the past. Today, you are ruthless and brash to ladies without recognizing the emotional damage you are causing. Should any of the ladies decide to dance to the music and commit suicide, be aware that you were one of those that played the music.

Be intentional about how you treat people. People are going through internal conflicts, don't add to it. Show empathy. Speak kind words. Luke 17:1 says 'Things that cause people to stumble are bound to come, but woe to anyone through whom they come.'

Stay hopeful. God's got your back.

Happy Sunday.

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

THIS LIFE NO BALANCE

 

I was thinking this morning..... I was going through Facebook days ago when I saw the following words on a friend's wall: 'We cry for the dead, keep malice with the living, envy the successful and avoid the poor. This life shaa no balance at all.'

But is it true that this life is not balanced? Think about it. Anyone that read the news of how Femi Otedola rented a super luxury yacht for N2.2 billion to celebrate his 60th birthday in a country where civil servants retire at 60 with N2 million gratuity that may not be paid, will conclude that this life no balance at all.

I know of a very successful, God-loving man who has been believing God for a child for over 20 years, that has a mean domestic staff that can't afford to care for his wife, yet has 10 children. Chai! One will say, truly this life no balance.

We live in a country where political thugs are paid millions of naira and politicians earn hundreds of millions of naira, yet school teachers and University lecturers that are supposed to mould future leaders are treated with disdain and paid peanuts. I can hear you say this life no balance.

As I examined life, I discovered that the poor see the rich as thieves while the rich regard the poor as lazy. Truth is, you cannot hold a grudge against a man because he is rich, neither can you judge another for his misfortune . Everyone is absolutely responsible for the outcome of their lives. Because some have and others don't, does not imply life is not balanced. What you are and what you will become are dependent on the choices you made yesterday and are making today.

When you understand that the life of a man does not consist of the abundance of his possession and that the choice of whether to love or hate is in the power of man, then you will agree with my friend that says 'Life balance, na human beings naim no gree stand well.'

If you are standing right in your thoughts and action, you will discover that life is balanced. 1st Corinthians 10:12 says 'Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall.' If you feel life is not balanced, I urge you to examine your posture. Na you no balance.

Stay hopeful. God's got your back.

Happy Sunday.

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

ESUSU MANAGEMENT SYSTEM (EMS)

 

I was thinking this morning..... I grew up hearing my mum say 'When I pack esusu next month, we will do this or that.' For the non-initiates, Esusu is an Ibo word that refers a fund to which a group of individuals make fixed contributions of money at fixed intervals and the total amount contributed by the entire group is assigned to each of the members in rotation. These savings schemes also called Ajo in yoruba and Adashe in the north has the unique benefit of providing bulk money to each of the contributors.

I heard recently of how some blue-collar workers in some organisations where free lunch is provided, have devised a smart way of reducing the cost of providing food for their families using the Esusu Management System (EMS). A number of colleagues agree to contribute their meat (viz chicken, beef, fish, cowleg or kpomo) each lunch and one person takes it all home. The next day will be the turn of another until it goes round. The pot of meat collected by each person is taken home to prepare a pot of soup for the family. Wow! Apart from the challenge of food hygiene, I find the idea quite creative.

The Esusu Management System is most beneficial where there is shortage of resources. No doubt there is shortage of love and goodness in our world today. For a father to beat and broke the arm of his 2 month old baby because he was being disturbed tells us that all is not well with him. We are too consumed by the rat race of succeeding that we fail to see that our brother, friend or colleague is drowning in pain. Love, like dollar, seems scarce in our nation today.

It's time to deploy the Esusu Management System. This time, not for money or meat but for love and goodness. We belong to several social media groups that focus on chatting more than showing genuine love. If we aggregate a little love and goodness in each of us and shower it on one member each week or month, I believe it will go a long way in lifting people out of the mental health challenges they are faced with today. Luke 6:31: Do to others as you would have them do to you.

We have seen money Esusu and kpomo Esusu, it's time for Love Esusu. As we do esusu with our love and goodness, I believe the world will be a better place.

Stay hopeful. God's got your back.

Happy Sunday.

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

VACANCY: LIVING HOUSEHELP NEEDED

 

I was thinking this morning..... as I went out for a cross-neighbourhood morning fitness walk yesterday, I came across this advert board that reads 'Female House Help, Living, 18 - 25' somewhere along Peter Odilli Road in Port-Harcourt. I smiled as I assumed the advertiser meant he was looking for a 'Live-in Female Househelp', but then I thought again 'Wait a minute. What if it wasn't an error? What if the 'Living' was intentional?'

As I walked along, I recalled reading stories and watching videos of househelps that abuse the children they were employed to care for, with some going as far as starving or poisoning them. Someone that is alive and has blood flowing in her veins cannot be that savage na, haba!!! One must be dead to be that wicked. No wonder the advertiser was looking for a 'Living Female Househelp.' As far as the advertiser was concerned, the main qualification to get the job is that the young lady should be alive.

The wisdom of that advertiser need to be borrowed by corporate organisations and our Civil Service Commission for use as a recruitment criteria. Many workers are just not alive to their responsibility. You cannot be alive and are okay with spending the whole day in the office doing private business or gossiping and still feel okay to collect a salary at the end of the month. Like that advertiser, employers should be writing 'Vacancy: Living Accountant required' or 'Vacancy: Living Clerk required.'

In the same vein, we need living Nigerians as our chief servants come 2023. A leader that is not moved by the infirmity of the people he was elected to serve cannot be alive. A leader that is cocooned in opulence while the masses starve is not living. Like that advertiser at Peter Odilli Road, I beg you, come 2023, we need Living Senators, Governors and President, so that we all can be alive in Nigeria.

The suffering and deep poverty Nigerians have been through have already made many dead to humanity. Please do not allow the problems of life overwhelm you to the point of becoming a living dead. If you must be dead, please be dead to sin and corruption. Romans 6:11 says 'Count yourself dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus.'

Stay hopeful. God's got your back.

Happy Sunday.

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

TOUCHING THE STARS

 

I was thinking this morning….. It was a night of honour and glamour at the 2022 Grand Award Night for The Nigeria Prize for Science and Literature tagged ‘Touching the Stars.’ From the red, sorry blue carpet, to the music, it was a night to be much remembered.

As my young wife and I sauntered into the expansive hall of Eko Hotel and Towers, I was initially intimidated by the sheer glitz of the beautifully decorated hall. The multi-coloured stage lightings, three large LED screens, chairs and tables well draped in glittering black and silver and a crew of cameramen from NTA, Channels, Arise News and others tripping over themselves left no one in doubt that the organisers were aiming to touch the stars.

I remained humbled and subdued by the dignitaries in attendance. From his excellency, President Olusegun Obasanjo to His Imperial Majesty, the Amayanabo of Bonny to the Hon. Minister of Science and Technology, Senator Adeleke Mamora, the hall was graced with notable personalities. I however found my mojo in the midst of familiar faces at Table 45. Now relaxed as I took a sip from a glass of cold apple juice, I had no doubt I was going to be inspired to think of touching the stars.

In minutes, the hall was full and everyone seated. The crowd was truly Nigerian devoid of tribal and religious sentiments evident by the babarigas, etibo, wokor, senator and agbada that dotted the hall. As I pondered on the perfect blend of the Nigerian culture and spirit, I imagined a Nigeria united in creed and colour. Truly we would’ve been touching the stars.

Then came the awards recognizing those that have excelled in science and literature. Again the short list was pan-Nigerian with emphasis on nothing but competence and excellence. The panel of judges did not care about the state of origin and religion of the contestants. What they looked for was the best of the best. As the winners were announced and we stood up to applaud them, I mourned for our country Nigeria.

When the night was ended and the morning broke, the winner of $100,000 prize for Literature had announced that he will be giving $10,000 each to the other two contestants. Wow! What a spirit of brotherhood. These young men have again taught us, particularly our politicians, that service by sharing rather than self aggradizement is the surest way to touching the stars.

We are on the march to selecting the chief stewards for our dear nation, Nigeria. Oh I wish we could base our selection on competence, there is nothing that will stop us from touching the stars. Daniel 12:3 says 'Those who are wise will shine like the stars for ever.' Please be wise, so we could touch the stars together.

Stay hopeful. God's got your back.

Happy Sunday.

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey